Picking on Ghost Whisperer.
Hurray! Now that they've finally shown Sean Maher's episode, I never have to watch this show again! I was, I think, exceptionally generous to it. I gave it four episodes to either get good or get bad enough to be fun. But alas, it was not to be. An actress couldn't save the terrible, ham-handed writing, let alone whatever Jennifer Love Hewitt is (an android? a lamppost? a freelance lingerie model?). Her character, Melinda the eponymous whisperer of ghosts, lives in an aggressively pleasant town where the sun always shines and the dead never shut up. She has a business, sort of, but mostly she just wafts around in some of the least attractive girly-girl gowns I've seen in years (aiiieee, those fabrics! There's vintage and there's environmental hazard), clumsily stalking people to feel their pain and terrify them with the prospect that, at any moment, they might be attacked and smothered by either her eyelashes or her breasts. Her husband and her best friend/business partner are apparently saints with boundless patience and oceans of gullibility, er, trust. Do they ever question the fact that she talks to people who, as far as they can see, aren't there? Does the phrase "massive doses of thorazine" ever drift through their minds? Do they wish she would at least stop chatting with these ghosts in public places, in view of everyone? Of course not, for she is Melinda! Hold her while she weeps, for she weeps for the world! Ay-yi-yi. Every episode so far, and okay, it is a little unfair to twitch at this since the show's only four eps in but who said life was fair, follows pretty much the same pattern:
"I can see you!"
"You can see me!"
"Go to the light."
"No, I'm not ready."
"Sure you are!"
"No, I'm not!"
[some sort of touchy-feeling blather and/or "comic" scene. Or maybe Melinda goes to work at her fabulous antique store that never has customers. Just for kicks.]
"Go to the light!"
"Well, okay. Thank you so much, Ghost Whisperer!"
[tears all around]
It's a spiritual quest as hotel art, nothing so edgy or unsettling as to wake anyone up. Melinda's vibe is a bit faux-bohemian meets Thomas Kinkade. Blech. But while it's obviously not the show for me, I can't help remembering that Touched by an Angel was on for three thousand years, so no doubt Melinda will be able to flutter around blinking dewily at many a hapless mourner before Ghost Whisperer goes to the light. That's showbiz.
Anyway, tonight's ep had Sean looking just delicious, which helped. Pretty, pretty boy. And he got to be sweet and bitchy and devoted in a somewhat overly intense manner, all of which he does well. His dialogue was generally pretty leaden, and he had the stupidest death ever, but he spent the entire episode wandering around in one of those skintight microfiber outfits racing cyclists wear, which was nice and decorative. He wasn't in nearly enough scenes and that dang Melinda kept getting in the way (curse you, main character!), but overall, I liked his part. And... you know, I was just going to say, "and there was no necrophilia this time," because of his CSI: Miami episode, but actually... I don't think it was for lack of trying.
But pretty, pretty Sean aside, there was something about this episode that really bugged me. No, not Melinda, she goes without saying. It's the whole mess surrounding the transplanted heart. So, apparently, a heart transplant gives you the sense memories and personal habits of the donor. Um. Guys, not even Return to Me went that far, okay? That's just goofy. Not to mention that Melinda pretty much says flat out she's using Balding Guy as a prop to help get Sean's Fiancee out of her funk, which, call me old-fashioned, seems tacky. But whatever, she's the hero, right? And on BG and SF's semi-date, he suddenly bursts out in Sean's mannerisms, and while SF takes off, she still wants to see him again. She's not the least creeped out by that? I mean, it doesn't bother her that her new guy is acting just like her old guy, and neither does she feel guilty that that seems to be the reason she likes him? And we're supposed to say, "aww, romantic"? Yeah, not so much, guys. Creepy and manipulative, more like.
If you do like the show, please believe that I'm not trying to insult your taste or anything. Big Relic Hunter fan here, remember? Somehow, though, I just don't think I'll be joining any Ghost Whisperer fan clubs any time soon.
"I can see you!"
"You can see me!"
"Go to the light."
"No, I'm not ready."
"Sure you are!"
"No, I'm not!"
[some sort of touchy-feeling blather and/or "comic" scene. Or maybe Melinda goes to work at her fabulous antique store that never has customers. Just for kicks.]
"Go to the light!"
"Well, okay. Thank you so much, Ghost Whisperer!"
[tears all around]
It's a spiritual quest as hotel art, nothing so edgy or unsettling as to wake anyone up. Melinda's vibe is a bit faux-bohemian meets Thomas Kinkade. Blech. But while it's obviously not the show for me, I can't help remembering that Touched by an Angel was on for three thousand years, so no doubt Melinda will be able to flutter around blinking dewily at many a hapless mourner before Ghost Whisperer goes to the light. That's showbiz.
Anyway, tonight's ep had Sean looking just delicious, which helped. Pretty, pretty boy. And he got to be sweet and bitchy and devoted in a somewhat overly intense manner, all of which he does well. His dialogue was generally pretty leaden, and he had the stupidest death ever, but he spent the entire episode wandering around in one of those skintight microfiber outfits racing cyclists wear, which was nice and decorative. He wasn't in nearly enough scenes and that dang Melinda kept getting in the way (curse you, main character!), but overall, I liked his part. And... you know, I was just going to say, "and there was no necrophilia this time," because of his CSI: Miami episode, but actually... I don't think it was for lack of trying.
But pretty, pretty Sean aside, there was something about this episode that really bugged me. No, not Melinda, she goes without saying. It's the whole mess surrounding the transplanted heart. So, apparently, a heart transplant gives you the sense memories and personal habits of the donor. Um. Guys, not even Return to Me went that far, okay? That's just goofy. Not to mention that Melinda pretty much says flat out she's using Balding Guy as a prop to help get Sean's Fiancee out of her funk, which, call me old-fashioned, seems tacky. But whatever, she's the hero, right? And on BG and SF's semi-date, he suddenly bursts out in Sean's mannerisms, and while SF takes off, she still wants to see him again. She's not the least creeped out by that? I mean, it doesn't bother her that her new guy is acting just like her old guy, and neither does she feel guilty that that seems to be the reason she likes him? And we're supposed to say, "aww, romantic"? Yeah, not so much, guys. Creepy and manipulative, more like.
If you do like the show, please believe that I'm not trying to insult your taste or anything. Big Relic Hunter fan here, remember? Somehow, though, I just don't think I'll be joining any Ghost Whisperer fan clubs any time soon.