the one with the doorknobs
As of 4:29 AM this morning, I have declared war on doorknobs. They are evil and also out to get me, as evidenced by the fact that they have ATTACKED ME three times in the past week alone. Doorknobs are not supposed to attack! They're just supposed to turn and open doors! BUT NOOOOOOO. These doorknobs are evil. And doomed. Very, very doomed.