Ahhhh...
There's something comforting when I go in and talk to an older person about things. Doctors or counselors, there's just something about what they do that puts me at ease, or in wonder, of what they do. I went in and talked to a career counselor about what I might be able to do with my life today. I enjoyed anytime she spoke at length, but all that really happened was I got homework to take a few online tests and come back in Wednesday, so I have 6 days to do that, plenty of time. Going to have to take a look into a few different fields, both for lifestyle things (hours I'll need to work) and pay, etc. What kind of degree I may or may not need, how to go about taking those courses and the like. I suppose it would be a good idea to go for as much money as I can comfortably make, just in case bad stuff happens I have some excess cash sitting about. I will eventually have to take care of my brother...and I sure would like to be as hands off about that as possible, even if that sounds like a terrible thing to do.
I'm almost completely back to how I am/was, actually getting to feel and experience a full range of emotions again. It's quite wonderful. While I kinda regret much of what happened this summer, I'm also thankful for it. I did learn a good bit, especially about myself. And those lessons will hopefully help me to be a better person for when I need it. I'm now able to look back and laugh at what happened. I know how things are going to go on my side of things from here on out and my expectations for how their side of things will, so nothing else will likely occur. Which is unfortunate, I'm a kind soul these days, already starting to forgive people who probably don't deserve to be forgiven, as I would like to be able to keep contact. I've never been one to be able to keep any exes around as friends and I think that's bad. I think it's mature to be civil with those from your past, so I'd consider it another notch on my belt of being a good person to be able to manage that. But I doubt I'll get to have that happen, so meh, guess I won't get to be that kind of person.
I'm glad I was able to experience anger again, I think it did a bit to break me out of my total nice guy routine, which should be helpful in the early stages of a new relationship. Especially when I'm seeing a similarity to past ones, hopefully I can stay a bit paranoid/wary and not get too attached, so that things progress at a more natural pace. Though things are still progressing very slowly, and runner girl agrees. A few days between days is fine she says, but she wonders why we're "allowed" to talk on a daily basis but only see each other every couple weeks. Though since we're going 6 days between dates, we're not quite doing that and we are going at that pace, so no real worries from me. But I find things like that interesting, it's why I'm so stuck in the gray areas these days. So many people work in completely different ways, I'm not sure which way to consider "wrong" and which "right", so I just stick to undecided.
My father made my brother one of his chocolate cakes. They're very, very good. It's a family recipe for the fudge icing, one I need to get and learn. I'm having a hard time not eating it all, it's just too good. Going to get a slice now, or at least soon. Friend just showed me an absolutely disgusting video that I might have to take a few minutes to recover from. Some guy jumped off a dock, hit his head on the dock before landing on water and completely split open his face vertically...but they got him to the doctors and he was still alive, with his entire face just split open as a hole. Crazy sick. I'm hoping it wasn't real, but yeah...dunno. But back to the cake issue, for my birthday my dad went out and bought a slice of chocolate cake, my brother got a full cake, hmm, lol.
Oh well, back to my boring slow days. I have some Psych to watch, might get a little WoW Cata beta playtime in, got in the LOTRO free-to-play beta and lots of random forum browsing to do. Big day tomorrow, we'll see how exactly things work out.
I'm almost completely back to how I am/was, actually getting to feel and experience a full range of emotions again. It's quite wonderful. While I kinda regret much of what happened this summer, I'm also thankful for it. I did learn a good bit, especially about myself. And those lessons will hopefully help me to be a better person for when I need it. I'm now able to look back and laugh at what happened. I know how things are going to go on my side of things from here on out and my expectations for how their side of things will, so nothing else will likely occur. Which is unfortunate, I'm a kind soul these days, already starting to forgive people who probably don't deserve to be forgiven, as I would like to be able to keep contact. I've never been one to be able to keep any exes around as friends and I think that's bad. I think it's mature to be civil with those from your past, so I'd consider it another notch on my belt of being a good person to be able to manage that. But I doubt I'll get to have that happen, so meh, guess I won't get to be that kind of person.
I'm glad I was able to experience anger again, I think it did a bit to break me out of my total nice guy routine, which should be helpful in the early stages of a new relationship. Especially when I'm seeing a similarity to past ones, hopefully I can stay a bit paranoid/wary and not get too attached, so that things progress at a more natural pace. Though things are still progressing very slowly, and runner girl agrees. A few days between days is fine she says, but she wonders why we're "allowed" to talk on a daily basis but only see each other every couple weeks. Though since we're going 6 days between dates, we're not quite doing that and we are going at that pace, so no real worries from me. But I find things like that interesting, it's why I'm so stuck in the gray areas these days. So many people work in completely different ways, I'm not sure which way to consider "wrong" and which "right", so I just stick to undecided.
My father made my brother one of his chocolate cakes. They're very, very good. It's a family recipe for the fudge icing, one I need to get and learn. I'm having a hard time not eating it all, it's just too good. Going to get a slice now, or at least soon. Friend just showed me an absolutely disgusting video that I might have to take a few minutes to recover from. Some guy jumped off a dock, hit his head on the dock before landing on water and completely split open his face vertically...but they got him to the doctors and he was still alive, with his entire face just split open as a hole. Crazy sick. I'm hoping it wasn't real, but yeah...dunno. But back to the cake issue, for my birthday my dad went out and bought a slice of chocolate cake, my brother got a full cake, hmm, lol.
Oh well, back to my boring slow days. I have some Psych to watch, might get a little WoW Cata beta playtime in, got in the LOTRO free-to-play beta and lots of random forum browsing to do. Big day tomorrow, we'll see how exactly things work out.