Let the good times roll.
Life has continued to be good.
Went to Church this morning, saw Ben/Kim (who were unable to recognize me for a bit, heh, I've slimmed a tad since I last saw them!) and such. Was good to see them, Kim is extremely hot these days, but she got into long distance running after having the kids, so that's not a big surprise really. I didn't get to talk to Kim a whole lot, which is unfortunate since I've always liked talking to her more, but Ben had some good news for me. He got a new job at a bank a few weeks ago and they're really looking for male tellers because so many female employees are skewing their numbers. There's also an internal referral program, so I'd get some extra consideration for that. Banks love to promote from within and numbers have always been my thing, so I could do well in this career. My only real problem would be the fact that I have to be clean-cut and dress nice on a daily basis. Ugh to that, but oh well, I can do it.
It was raining after Church, some guys flagged me down out front of the building and asked me for a ride to their car across the parking lot. What is this world coming to? Don't be pussies guys, rain won't melt you, even if it does mess up your hair, damn.
Church was...Church. It was yet another sermon that I'm not a big fan of, because I think I'm partially exempt from it. Not fully, there are certainly parts I can still apply to my life, but the main section of the sermon was about "denying yourself" and putting God first, not you. And talking about how everyone is greedy and does things for themselves first, just by instinct, all the time, etc. That's really not me. The last few years of my life have proved that. When my actions were up to me and I was only supporting myself, I did nothing. I didn't care enough about myself to get a job, to get in shape, etc. Even now I force myself to do these things and why? Because I'm useless if I do take things to the extreme and "deny myself". I am not useful to anyone else if I'm an unenergetic fat blob with no money. The only way I can help people is by being in shape so that I have the energy and happiness to help them be happy. The only way I can make a woman happy is if I have the money to take care of her needs. That's why I do anything these days. My happiness comes from other people, not from myself.
Hit it off with otaku girl a couple nights ago in chat. My plans for yesterday fell through and I randomly mentioned going to meet her yesterday. She happened to say yes, so sure, lets do it. I drive the hour-ish to go see her, wait 30min to actually meet her (women, I swear!) and we go for a walk and just chat. Man, what a wonderful change of pace. She talks! She speaks her mind! I actually had trouble getting any words in because she would just talk, talk, talk! It was so relaxing, so lovely, I had a wonderful time right from the start.
But it did prove to me, and I suppose her too, that I'm just not sure how dating works. She said a couple hours in that I was in the "friend zone" and I was like "whoa now, I didn't drive an hour to be in the friend zone!" How was I supposed to not be in the friend zone? I was giving her space, didn't want to turn her off by anything if I tried to make a move (not that I'd make much of a move, nor do I ever really make the first move lol) and enjoying her chatting. I think after my little protest she tried to see things as more of a date? She mentioned that at some point, but I have no idea how things ended up after that point. She said she was trying to "turn it into a date", which got her meal paid for at Fridays, so maybe she's just another girl using me, but we'll see. I haven't directly asked, taking the laid back approach, but things appear to be going pretty well. I'm confident she likes me, just not sure exactly how much that is right now.
She speaks of having set standards/requirements for progression in things like dating, which I like. I mean, honestly I'd rather be "the one to break the rules" and be special/different because she sees me as "the one", but I will respect her even more if she's able to hold to her standards and take things slow, especially if she wishes to break them. I really like that quality about her. I am far more of a gray area when it comes to those things and it ties into me being "wtf?" about dating, so I have no problem with someone with real structure giving me some semblance of an idea about it.
She was the quiet, shy, studious girl in high school. I may have hit on her had she gone to TJ (not likely, since there were SO many people in TJ, but whatever). But I loved the shy, quiet studious girls. Laura and Julie were both those girls, worked their butts off to perform and spent almost all their focus on school, very little on guys. I really enjoyed spending time with them because I thought I helped make them happier with my presence and I thought I was doing a good thing. I took pride in my belief that I made someone else feel better. I believe I succeeded in doing that exact thing last night. She was glowing by the end of the night, she seemed to be happier as things went on, she was beautiful. And that's what I love to see. A girl with a smile is the best thing to witness on this earth.
Unfortunately I do have some competition. She's got like 23 guys all chasing her at the moment, trying to juggle them all. Typically in these situations I'd get discouraged, or back off, I'd be scared of losing, or I'd want to force her into a decision (choose me! nowz!) right away. But I'm not doing that and I only kinda want to do that. She needs to be able to make a choice, and a fair one at that. That means my best bet is just to show her more of me, of who I am. And if she and I are meant to be, that'll be enough for her to make her choice. If not, then we're not going to work anyway, so no big deal. I believe I'm making the smart choice here and I'm fine with it, which is making me a bit more confident in how things are going to go.
Not sure how things will progress from here. I'm in the best situation to spend more time with her irl now before I land a job, despite having no money. But if we're just friends zone, and not going to do anything but chat, I would prefer to save the gas/time and do it online. It's not nearly as enjoyable online, as I cannot see her smiling face, but I'd lose 2 hours of conversation driving to see her and if all I'd get is a hug out of it, it'd just barely not be worth it(not saying I expect much more, but a hug is something that "just friends" can do). So I assume we're just going to chat online for a while until she can figure things out. But if she asks for more face time...I'll probably oblige. At the least I'd think it means good things may be coming.
I'm more of the "lets just go ahead and do it" kind of person because I don't think I can really determine if someone is right for me until I've spent some serious time with them. I don't think I can know if girls that make it through my initial processing are incompatible until far down the line. Which is why I'm a bit more laid back and want to just charge forward of things. I'll find out if we're right for each other when we've spent days together, if we can stand each others company, if we can still make each other laugh and smile after sufficient time together. Until then, I just wish to enjoy the time we do spend with each other.
Do I have more to say? I don't really know, maybe. I think I do, but it doesn't fit the...mood/style of this post, so I'll get into it later. More of a philosophy-ish thing.
Went to Church this morning, saw Ben/Kim (who were unable to recognize me for a bit, heh, I've slimmed a tad since I last saw them!) and such. Was good to see them, Kim is extremely hot these days, but she got into long distance running after having the kids, so that's not a big surprise really. I didn't get to talk to Kim a whole lot, which is unfortunate since I've always liked talking to her more, but Ben had some good news for me. He got a new job at a bank a few weeks ago and they're really looking for male tellers because so many female employees are skewing their numbers. There's also an internal referral program, so I'd get some extra consideration for that. Banks love to promote from within and numbers have always been my thing, so I could do well in this career. My only real problem would be the fact that I have to be clean-cut and dress nice on a daily basis. Ugh to that, but oh well, I can do it.
It was raining after Church, some guys flagged me down out front of the building and asked me for a ride to their car across the parking lot. What is this world coming to? Don't be pussies guys, rain won't melt you, even if it does mess up your hair, damn.
Church was...Church. It was yet another sermon that I'm not a big fan of, because I think I'm partially exempt from it. Not fully, there are certainly parts I can still apply to my life, but the main section of the sermon was about "denying yourself" and putting God first, not you. And talking about how everyone is greedy and does things for themselves first, just by instinct, all the time, etc. That's really not me. The last few years of my life have proved that. When my actions were up to me and I was only supporting myself, I did nothing. I didn't care enough about myself to get a job, to get in shape, etc. Even now I force myself to do these things and why? Because I'm useless if I do take things to the extreme and "deny myself". I am not useful to anyone else if I'm an unenergetic fat blob with no money. The only way I can help people is by being in shape so that I have the energy and happiness to help them be happy. The only way I can make a woman happy is if I have the money to take care of her needs. That's why I do anything these days. My happiness comes from other people, not from myself.
Hit it off with otaku girl a couple nights ago in chat. My plans for yesterday fell through and I randomly mentioned going to meet her yesterday. She happened to say yes, so sure, lets do it. I drive the hour-ish to go see her, wait 30min to actually meet her (women, I swear!) and we go for a walk and just chat. Man, what a wonderful change of pace. She talks! She speaks her mind! I actually had trouble getting any words in because she would just talk, talk, talk! It was so relaxing, so lovely, I had a wonderful time right from the start.
But it did prove to me, and I suppose her too, that I'm just not sure how dating works. She said a couple hours in that I was in the "friend zone" and I was like "whoa now, I didn't drive an hour to be in the friend zone!" How was I supposed to not be in the friend zone? I was giving her space, didn't want to turn her off by anything if I tried to make a move (not that I'd make much of a move, nor do I ever really make the first move lol) and enjoying her chatting. I think after my little protest she tried to see things as more of a date? She mentioned that at some point, but I have no idea how things ended up after that point. She said she was trying to "turn it into a date", which got her meal paid for at Fridays, so maybe she's just another girl using me, but we'll see. I haven't directly asked, taking the laid back approach, but things appear to be going pretty well. I'm confident she likes me, just not sure exactly how much that is right now.
She speaks of having set standards/requirements for progression in things like dating, which I like. I mean, honestly I'd rather be "the one to break the rules" and be special/different because she sees me as "the one", but I will respect her even more if she's able to hold to her standards and take things slow, especially if she wishes to break them. I really like that quality about her. I am far more of a gray area when it comes to those things and it ties into me being "wtf?" about dating, so I have no problem with someone with real structure giving me some semblance of an idea about it.
She was the quiet, shy, studious girl in high school. I may have hit on her had she gone to TJ (not likely, since there were SO many people in TJ, but whatever). But I loved the shy, quiet studious girls. Laura and Julie were both those girls, worked their butts off to perform and spent almost all their focus on school, very little on guys. I really enjoyed spending time with them because I thought I helped make them happier with my presence and I thought I was doing a good thing. I took pride in my belief that I made someone else feel better. I believe I succeeded in doing that exact thing last night. She was glowing by the end of the night, she seemed to be happier as things went on, she was beautiful. And that's what I love to see. A girl with a smile is the best thing to witness on this earth.
Unfortunately I do have some competition. She's got like 23 guys all chasing her at the moment, trying to juggle them all. Typically in these situations I'd get discouraged, or back off, I'd be scared of losing, or I'd want to force her into a decision (choose me! nowz!) right away. But I'm not doing that and I only kinda want to do that. She needs to be able to make a choice, and a fair one at that. That means my best bet is just to show her more of me, of who I am. And if she and I are meant to be, that'll be enough for her to make her choice. If not, then we're not going to work anyway, so no big deal. I believe I'm making the smart choice here and I'm fine with it, which is making me a bit more confident in how things are going to go.
Not sure how things will progress from here. I'm in the best situation to spend more time with her irl now before I land a job, despite having no money. But if we're just friends zone, and not going to do anything but chat, I would prefer to save the gas/time and do it online. It's not nearly as enjoyable online, as I cannot see her smiling face, but I'd lose 2 hours of conversation driving to see her and if all I'd get is a hug out of it, it'd just barely not be worth it(not saying I expect much more, but a hug is something that "just friends" can do). So I assume we're just going to chat online for a while until she can figure things out. But if she asks for more face time...I'll probably oblige. At the least I'd think it means good things may be coming.
I'm more of the "lets just go ahead and do it" kind of person because I don't think I can really determine if someone is right for me until I've spent some serious time with them. I don't think I can know if girls that make it through my initial processing are incompatible until far down the line. Which is why I'm a bit more laid back and want to just charge forward of things. I'll find out if we're right for each other when we've spent days together, if we can stand each others company, if we can still make each other laugh and smile after sufficient time together. Until then, I just wish to enjoy the time we do spend with each other.
Do I have more to say? I don't really know, maybe. I think I do, but it doesn't fit the...mood/style of this post, so I'll get into it later. More of a philosophy-ish thing.