Revelation!
I have found what was missing in my life. It wasn't a girl. It wasn't friends. It wasn't a job.
It was my health.
Getting in shape, getting back to who I originally was in life, has really fixed me. It's so silly I never realized it before. I was always in shape, I was one of the fastest kids in school back in middle school. I was always outside playing sports. Basketball, football, soccer, running, biking...those were my entire middle school years. Ok yeah, Final Fantasy VII was 7th grade too, but that was winter, not much time taken from outside play.
I lost my health beginning my senior year of high school. It wasn't instant, I still "felt" in shape. And I had a lot of coping mechanisms for that year. I had friends and food. I had the idea of Carrie, though she was off at school most of the time. I went off to college and that's when it got bad. I was losing even more of my health, being told to me when I went to run or play frisbee, I didn't really have friends, the couple I made in school were alright but I never built the relationships I had in high school. And I didn't get to see much of Carrie, she was quite busy. This all started to roll together, cumulating in the realization I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and allowed that to strike the killing blow in my life. And my life ended there for the most part, for a few years.
A year and a half ago I somehow decided I'd lose weight. I started working on getting in shape a few months back and it's finally starting to pay off. I feel great, I have energy (despite still having major sleeping problems), I have confidence and I'm happy. Getting a girl made me happy, but had negative effects on my confidence. getting in shape has had no negative effects and many positive ones.
I'm a completely different person from last month. And the month before it. I'm closer to how I felt while in high school, while having the maturity I've harnessed over the last few years of self-reflection. I do not judge myself based on what one girl thinks, or by the fact that I don't have something. I am awesome, and I know it.
Eventually, I'll find the right girl, until then, I'm going to keep getting better at living.
It was my health.
Getting in shape, getting back to who I originally was in life, has really fixed me. It's so silly I never realized it before. I was always in shape, I was one of the fastest kids in school back in middle school. I was always outside playing sports. Basketball, football, soccer, running, biking...those were my entire middle school years. Ok yeah, Final Fantasy VII was 7th grade too, but that was winter, not much time taken from outside play.
I lost my health beginning my senior year of high school. It wasn't instant, I still "felt" in shape. And I had a lot of coping mechanisms for that year. I had friends and food. I had the idea of Carrie, though she was off at school most of the time. I went off to college and that's when it got bad. I was losing even more of my health, being told to me when I went to run or play frisbee, I didn't really have friends, the couple I made in school were alright but I never built the relationships I had in high school. And I didn't get to see much of Carrie, she was quite busy. This all started to roll together, cumulating in the realization I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and allowed that to strike the killing blow in my life. And my life ended there for the most part, for a few years.
A year and a half ago I somehow decided I'd lose weight. I started working on getting in shape a few months back and it's finally starting to pay off. I feel great, I have energy (despite still having major sleeping problems), I have confidence and I'm happy. Getting a girl made me happy, but had negative effects on my confidence. getting in shape has had no negative effects and many positive ones.
I'm a completely different person from last month. And the month before it. I'm closer to how I felt while in high school, while having the maturity I've harnessed over the last few years of self-reflection. I do not judge myself based on what one girl thinks, or by the fact that I don't have something. I am awesome, and I know it.
Eventually, I'll find the right girl, until then, I'm going to keep getting better at living.