Janine's update
I am not going to go into detail about wednesday - but safice to say it was a bad smallgroup. It was way worse then the time Dirk and I clashed when he told me I was in rebellion (or possible rebellion). Thankfuly, Dirk and I had a friendship that we were both able to jump off of - vs what happened on wednesday night. Plus, he was honestly sorry and saw that how he said it and what he did was wrong even if there was truth in it - it wasn't by the holy spirit. I will never return to that smallgroup. She apologized - but only cause I was hurt - NOT because she was wrong. I don't see how anyone can excuse their rude abrasive behavior cause "god told them" - whatever.
So, after that I was upset - actually I hyperventated once I left. It was so familiar - Janine in a room of people that are in agreement and everything she says looks like herecy and twisted scripture so she's ganged up on.
I've been sick since then. Truly tempted to never set foot in Christian center again. I woke up this morning and felt like I should call Edna (a lady at church). She and her two moms were there and they came over to pray with me. It was a true God moment and I feel a lot better. I do not have a 'spirit of resistance' - I am learning and growing and I need to look to my future and the promises therein. Mary, one of the ladies, just held me while she prayed for me. I can't tell you how DESPERATLEY I needed that LOVE, comfort, and TRUTH. Of course things were exposed that I need to shift - but it was all done in Love, truth, and grace.
Ugh, there's just so much and I wish I had the patience or interest to type it all out.
I so Miss that healing journey and Vineyard see that people need inner healing and they aren't labeled with "a spirit of resistance" or garbage like that. They go to the heart of the matter and love you right there. I miss that truth - those keys of truth. Good thing: Jotty, the pastor, was very kind, gracious, and loving when I went to him with the abuse that occured. He affirmed me, helped me, and gave me good counsel. That may be the only reason why I return - not to mention Edna's love and genuineness that I felt today too.
So, after that I was upset - actually I hyperventated once I left. It was so familiar - Janine in a room of people that are in agreement and everything she says looks like herecy and twisted scripture so she's ganged up on.
I've been sick since then. Truly tempted to never set foot in Christian center again. I woke up this morning and felt like I should call Edna (a lady at church). She and her two moms were there and they came over to pray with me. It was a true God moment and I feel a lot better. I do not have a 'spirit of resistance' - I am learning and growing and I need to look to my future and the promises therein. Mary, one of the ladies, just held me while she prayed for me. I can't tell you how DESPERATLEY I needed that LOVE, comfort, and TRUTH. Of course things were exposed that I need to shift - but it was all done in Love, truth, and grace.
Ugh, there's just so much and I wish I had the patience or interest to type it all out.
I so Miss that healing journey and Vineyard see that people need inner healing and they aren't labeled with "a spirit of resistance" or garbage like that. They go to the heart of the matter and love you right there. I miss that truth - those keys of truth. Good thing: Jotty, the pastor, was very kind, gracious, and loving when I went to him with the abuse that occured. He affirmed me, helped me, and gave me good counsel. That may be the only reason why I return - not to mention Edna's love and genuineness that I felt today too.