giving up?
I think this is what giving up feels like. I ran the budget the other day and because my room mates are unemployed it is up to me and my fiance to cover all of the household bills. I am the only one of the two who can work more. so i'm giving up my asl my sca my game in orlando. I'm giving up on having any free time at all. I can't even afford my meds any more so i am also giving up my stability. I am depressed now. I only hope it continues. i'm terrified of having one of my old style manic episodes. It could destroy everything. it is beyond knowing what could fall in another such episode. This isn't healthy and i know that, but there is literally no healthy option. Either i have my meds or we don't eat, or we lose power, or we lose our house, or C loses all her savings. I'm supposed to be saving right now. I'm supposed to be getting married next year. But we are hemoraging money not saving, and we don't want to start our marriage by going into debt.
It is with resentment that i watch my two room mates live their lives. playing videogames and visiting romantic interests. while i work everything i have and more to try and keep us afloat.
D is trying, he really is and it isn't his fault.
K... I could really grow to resent K
Well thats me for now, i've let go of all the things but work, so i work, that is me... work.
It is with resentment that i watch my two room mates live their lives. playing videogames and visiting romantic interests. while i work everything i have and more to try and keep us afloat.
D is trying, he really is and it isn't his fault.
K... I could really grow to resent K
Well thats me for now, i've let go of all the things but work, so i work, that is me... work.