The Lessons My life Has Taught Me
We don't all walk down the same path in life and we all have our set of unique experiences. Out of these individual paths and experiences grow our thoughts about life as a human being - our private facet on the diamond of reality. Every once in a while life teaches us a new lesson that we wish to bookmark in our memories, but don't always manage to recollect later in life. This post is my attempt to string those "pearls of wisdom" so that I can step back and admire what I've managed to collect during my walk down the beach.
In no particular order and with no guarantees of genuine wisdom, here's what I've got so far:
1. Just because you think of someone as a close friend does not necessarily mean they feel the same way about you. So, learn to judge where the affection is welcome and where it is unwanted.
2. Just because someone is your friend does not automatically make him / her a good person who behaves in an upright manner all the time; and sometimes it is your duty as a friend to call a spade a spade.
3. Never try to fight somebody else's fight for them. Only those who attempt to stand up for themselves really want to stand up for themselves. The rest is just a pity-party or a need to be in everyone's good books.
4. Beware of those who will use your sense of fair-play / your concern for the underdog to place their guns on your shoulder and shoot.
5. Never blindly believe anything anyone says, particularly about another person. Form your own opinion. (Thanks to Seena N for that pearl!)
6. Sleep over your concerns if you can. Things usually look brighter in the morning.
7. Everyone wants to be liked. When you like something about someone, tell them. Chances are they will remember it for the rest of their lives and think about it when they're down in the dumps.
8. Everybody you meet in life has something to teach you if you are simply open to learning from them.
9. There are no good or bad people. We're, all of us, somewhere in between.
10. A lot of times there is no right or wrong. It's all a matter of perspective.
11. Sometimes people aren't as happy / lucky as they seem to you. Everyone has some cross to bear. Try and remember that the next time you wish you had someone else's life.
12. People don't always like to hear the truth.
13. Trying to see things from everyone's perspective can sometimes leave you with a constantly rotating compass needle. Once in a while it's good to step back and consider your own opinion about matters.
14. Your parents / elders, however much their life-experience, are still human beings capable of making mistakes. The sooner you accept that, the better for you.
15. A friend who doesn't respect you is probably not a friend worth keeping. A romantic interest who doesn't respect you is best dropped like a hot potato.
16. Nothing in life is constant. People come and go; so does money, happiness, goodwill, health and trouble. The less attached you remain to status quo, the easier life will seem.
17. Nobody should have to beg for love.
18. God is probably a Sadist.
19. For my women friends: It is rare to find a man in control of his ego when it comes to interacting with women. If you ever find one, hold onto him.
20. Not everyone in the world is going to like you - Full-stop
21. You are not obliged to care about the opinions of people who feel no real concern for you.
22. Office politics is practically impossible to avoid but don't let yourself get dragged into it, if you can help it.
23. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes you are the only one who will.
24. People can go places with a bit of ass-kissing. That doesn't, however, make it an admirable trait.
25. The government does not have a magic wand. Really! You have to take responsibility for your own duties in order to keep the system running smoothly. So, next time you crib about the garbage on the streets while letting that bubble-gum wrapper slip through your fingers - stop and take note of how you are contributing to the problem.
26. Money can ruin relationships. Avoid borrowing unless absolutely necessary and really consider the integrity of people to whom you lend before you part with your money.
27. NEVER reveal your salary to your colleagues. Jealousy is best avoided with people who cannot be avoided at work.
28. Competition is rarely healthy. It usually plays havoc with people's minds.
29. There should at all times be a clear cut boundary between office and home. The minute you start mixing the two, it is easy to mess up your priorities.
30. It is possible to function without a cell-phone.
31. Respect needs to be earned and not given by virtue of wealth / power / position / degrees (education).
32. You don't need alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to get high on life. Music, Dancing and Laughter can do that to you.
33. Laugh with all the joy in your heart.
34. Never wait until you are close to death to start working on your bucket list.
35. History is nothing but somebody's story.
36. Kids can be cruel too.
37. A poet would probably be surprised by the multitude of meanings people read into his / her poems.
38. Guys will tend to run after pretty girls who take advantage of them and girls will tend to fall for the bad guys whose rehabilitation can be turned into their own little projects.
39. Sometimes common sense (and not love) is all you need.
40. Don't trust people by default. But, once you do consider someone worthy of your trust, don't hold back.
41. Sometimes kissing a prince turns him into a toad!
42. My best friend in college once told me never to go looking for friendship at work. People are not there to make friends, she said. It took me a while to believe this as I met some of my best friends at work. But, over the years, I've come to appreciate her advice. It is true that the vast majority of people are detached with their colleagues even when they appear to be friendly. Many, unfortunately, are also very self-centered and will be your "friend" as long as you can serve some purpose for them. Beware, in particular, of people who like to act as a data warehouse for gossip and news about others. Some of these are like bulletin boards that can't keep the information to themselves, others like sly ad-ware that track your info to their advantage. I've learnt the hard way that emotional detachment at work is best. It is better to feel a bit lonely than to feel betrayed!
(WIP list as I don't have reason to believe I'm close to the end of my life or that I have learnt everything in the curriculum.)
In no particular order and with no guarantees of genuine wisdom, here's what I've got so far:
1. Just because you think of someone as a close friend does not necessarily mean they feel the same way about you. So, learn to judge where the affection is welcome and where it is unwanted.
2. Just because someone is your friend does not automatically make him / her a good person who behaves in an upright manner all the time; and sometimes it is your duty as a friend to call a spade a spade.
3. Never try to fight somebody else's fight for them. Only those who attempt to stand up for themselves really want to stand up for themselves. The rest is just a pity-party or a need to be in everyone's good books.
4. Beware of those who will use your sense of fair-play / your concern for the underdog to place their guns on your shoulder and shoot.
5. Never blindly believe anything anyone says, particularly about another person. Form your own opinion. (Thanks to Seena N for that pearl!)
6. Sleep over your concerns if you can. Things usually look brighter in the morning.
7. Everyone wants to be liked. When you like something about someone, tell them. Chances are they will remember it for the rest of their lives and think about it when they're down in the dumps.
8. Everybody you meet in life has something to teach you if you are simply open to learning from them.
9. There are no good or bad people. We're, all of us, somewhere in between.
10. A lot of times there is no right or wrong. It's all a matter of perspective.
11. Sometimes people aren't as happy / lucky as they seem to you. Everyone has some cross to bear. Try and remember that the next time you wish you had someone else's life.
12. People don't always like to hear the truth.
13. Trying to see things from everyone's perspective can sometimes leave you with a constantly rotating compass needle. Once in a while it's good to step back and consider your own opinion about matters.
14. Your parents / elders, however much their life-experience, are still human beings capable of making mistakes. The sooner you accept that, the better for you.
15. A friend who doesn't respect you is probably not a friend worth keeping. A romantic interest who doesn't respect you is best dropped like a hot potato.
16. Nothing in life is constant. People come and go; so does money, happiness, goodwill, health and trouble. The less attached you remain to status quo, the easier life will seem.
17. Nobody should have to beg for love.
18. God is probably a Sadist.
19. For my women friends: It is rare to find a man in control of his ego when it comes to interacting with women. If you ever find one, hold onto him.
20. Not everyone in the world is going to like you - Full-stop
21. You are not obliged to care about the opinions of people who feel no real concern for you.
22. Office politics is practically impossible to avoid but don't let yourself get dragged into it, if you can help it.
23. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes you are the only one who will.
24. People can go places with a bit of ass-kissing. That doesn't, however, make it an admirable trait.
25. The government does not have a magic wand. Really! You have to take responsibility for your own duties in order to keep the system running smoothly. So, next time you crib about the garbage on the streets while letting that bubble-gum wrapper slip through your fingers - stop and take note of how you are contributing to the problem.
26. Money can ruin relationships. Avoid borrowing unless absolutely necessary and really consider the integrity of people to whom you lend before you part with your money.
27. NEVER reveal your salary to your colleagues. Jealousy is best avoided with people who cannot be avoided at work.
28. Competition is rarely healthy. It usually plays havoc with people's minds.
29. There should at all times be a clear cut boundary between office and home. The minute you start mixing the two, it is easy to mess up your priorities.
30. It is possible to function without a cell-phone.
31. Respect needs to be earned and not given by virtue of wealth / power / position / degrees (education).
32. You don't need alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to get high on life. Music, Dancing and Laughter can do that to you.
33. Laugh with all the joy in your heart.
34. Never wait until you are close to death to start working on your bucket list.
35. History is nothing but somebody's story.
36. Kids can be cruel too.
37. A poet would probably be surprised by the multitude of meanings people read into his / her poems.
38. Guys will tend to run after pretty girls who take advantage of them and girls will tend to fall for the bad guys whose rehabilitation can be turned into their own little projects.
39. Sometimes common sense (and not love) is all you need.
40. Don't trust people by default. But, once you do consider someone worthy of your trust, don't hold back.
41. Sometimes kissing a prince turns him into a toad!
42. My best friend in college once told me never to go looking for friendship at work. People are not there to make friends, she said. It took me a while to believe this as I met some of my best friends at work. But, over the years, I've come to appreciate her advice. It is true that the vast majority of people are detached with their colleagues even when they appear to be friendly. Many, unfortunately, are also very self-centered and will be your "friend" as long as you can serve some purpose for them. Beware, in particular, of people who like to act as a data warehouse for gossip and news about others. Some of these are like bulletin boards that can't keep the information to themselves, others like sly ad-ware that track your info to their advantage. I've learnt the hard way that emotional detachment at work is best. It is better to feel a bit lonely than to feel betrayed!
(WIP list as I don't have reason to believe I'm close to the end of my life or that I have learnt everything in the curriculum.)