Pick Your Poison

[eagleofautozam]

[Video]

I can’t help it. Even though I want to leave this place as soon as possible… being able to spend more time with Lantis has been nice.

[Eagle smiles wistfully. ]

To me he might be the most dangerous person in the City. I know my weakness towards him will only get in the way of my goals, but I can’t help the way I feel…

[It looks like Eagle is

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[dulcisnuntius]

Eagle! What's wrong?!

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[eagleofautozam]

[As soon as he can catch his breath again and manage a smile he responds. This naturally takes a few minutes. ]

It’s nothing. Please, don’t worry about it.

[dulcisnuntius]

[Yeah, like that's going to happen. A second later and Dulcie is in the sweet shop, a glass of water in one hand and a handkerchief in the other. The kneels down next to Eagle and hands him the handkerchief.]

You're coughing up blood. It's obviously not nothing.

[eagleofautozam]

I managed to hide it until now…

[Said with an air of defeat as he reluctantly accepted her help... as if it really made a difference how well he had been able to hide this condition until now. Dulcie was a nice person, she shouldn’t have to be burdened by this. ]

It will clear up in just a little while.

[dulcisnuntius]

Why would you hide it? You need help.

[eagleofautozam]

[It was an obvious answer. ]

Because I didn’t want anyone to find out and worry about it.
I have already been given a diagnosis and there isn’t anything that can be done.

[That and he has a horrible time relying on others for help. ]

[dulcisnuntius]

You're not protecting anyone by keeping this from them. You don't think they're going to worry about you anyway? You just hacked your own lungs up over the network.

[Dulcie hands him the glass of water.]

By isolating yourself like this you're just making it harder on everyone.

[eagleofautozam]

[Contritely accepts the water. That was probably all true and yet… He just didn’t feel strong enough to tell everyone. That point was rendered pretty mute by that unfortunate network posting though. ]

If I hadn’t been brought here I think I would have managed to accomplish my mission without any of them ever finding out.

[That really stung the most. ]

But, as you said… They will all hear about it now.

[Even Lantis and Hikaru. ]

[dulcisnuntius]

Probably it's for the best. At least this way your friends will be here for you.

[eagleofautozam]

[At the moment that doesn’t sound like a very happy thought… concern, pity, support… all being things the normally self sufficient Commander has trouble dealing with. ]

I would rather not be a burden to any of you.

[Clearly ‘friends’ is a category Dulcie also falls into. ]

[dulcisnuntius]

Do you think you're friends would consider helping you a 'burden'? You must have a pretty low opinion of them, then.

[eagleofautozam]

[She’s good at this. These comments leave Eagle speechless for a while, but thankfully he feels recovered enough to attempt to stand so that gives him an excuse to be quiet at least until he has regained an upright position. ]

I don’t. I think they wouldn’t mind it at all… but it would bother me. I like to be able to handle things with my own strength…

[That his strength is now failing him bothers him no end. ]

[dulcisnuntius]

There's nothing weak about needing to ask for help. Would you begrudge another person for needing help when sick or injured?

[eagleofautozam]

No, I wouldn’t.

[But, it is different for him… or so he believes. ]

I’m sorry. I suppose I am just the kind of person who doesn’t know how to do that.

[dulcisnuntius]

Hey. There's a first time for everything.

[eagleofautozam]

[He still seems reluctant about it… but Dulcie does get a genuine smile. ]

Thank you for taking the time to check on me.