Is there a higher plane on earth?
Hello everyone. Just letting you know I'm alive. I went into the hospital last Monday for a test to see if one of my lungs had collapsed (It hadn't). I had scar tissue on my lungs from old respiratory issues (Got a light?). My Doctor surprised me when he was looking at my X-ray and then turned to me and said you have to go to emergency now (he meant it). I thought he was joking at first (he wasn't). But there is some kind of problem with me, and I am not sure what it is, neither does he, and it's making him nervous (not just him). I have been ill since Nov (a while now). Sometimes being able to deal with it, and sometimes it's overwhelming (take a deep breath). I deal with the illness as best I can, but I often feel it inside me, even though I have to go through my day as if everything were normal, and face people at work and at home to the best of my ability in letting them know I am a good person and there for them when ever and however they need me(I don't always succeed). Most people don't see me as sick because I don't show it until I cant deal with it, they just think I've had a bad day, or I'm tired, or I'm an asshole, even though I spend most of my time trying to help, and administer a caring touch around me (need a light?). My Doctor knows somethings wrong as well (thus the emergency run) because he checks me all the time only to find that my body is still in sick mode and isn't stopping (no immune system left he says). I used to have high blood pressure, but my BP has been normal for a couple months now because of medication (good thing). I decided I needed to stop smoking on Monday, havn't brought cigarettes to work in 2 days and starting Welbutrin tomorrow (Good Friday). The doc has taken a bunch of my blood to have it checked for cancer cells, and anything else that might be hurting me, as well as sending me to sleep studies this Tuesday night, and setting me up to meet with a Pulma.......Pulmi.......Pulme, awe hell, spelled frenetically it's Pulminoligist (hope it works). So thats where I am right now in life (under the bigger scheme of things). Hopefully things will get better, maybe not, but either way, I have nothing to do but look up and enjoy the air, and the view, because we never know what will happen tomorrow (enjoy your self, life is to short for the petty stuff). I also hope for the betterment of my family, as being angry at them over petty stuff is not worth it either, there's so many people out there that really are "Bad People" that letting go of the petty and loving the special about your family can make family feel like home (Love them). Take care (Nuff Said!)