FIC: Beginnings
Title: Beginnings (of the series, What We Remember Forever)
Fandom: Star Trek (XI)
Rating: G
Characters: Kirk (de-aged), Spock
Word count: 1147
Summary: After learning the truth of his captain's childhood, Spock makes a decision and begins to coax Jim out of his shell.
Warnings: Implied past emotional childhood neglect, fluff with an undertone of h/c.
Notes: This little piece is essentially a retelling of Bones' observation in "Never Too Late," except this time from Spock's point-of-view.
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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)
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He was so small.
It was a given fact at this point and did not benefit from further stressing, but to Spock the thought was illogically perplexing. Before him sat James T. Kirk, captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise: his biological identity had been resolutely confirmed by tricorder readings, as well as a full medical examination from Doctor McCoy. He was in ample health, and by all medical means - save the drastic reduction in age - there was nothing physically wrong with him.
But he was so small.
At four years of age, Jim appeared a ghost of his former self. Gone was the broad smile, the cheerful attitude and ringing laughter, instead replaced by a pair of downcast eyes, a disconcerting lack of expression, and an unnervingly silent voice. A Vulcan child would have at least been expressing some kind of curiosity, but Jim wasn’t even doing that. Spock could not comprehend it: from what he knew, human children were even more emotional and unrestrained than adults. They ran and they played and laughed, and why wasn’t Jim behaving in such a manner?
Then Doctor McCoy had revealed his most recent finding, and Spock found that his flow of coherent thought had been subtly disrupted.
After the doctor had finished explaining the origins of Jim’s condition, Spock could not help but think of the memories he had of his childhood, specifically those involving his mother. He could vividly remember the numerous human affections his mother had insisted on bestowing upon him when they were alone together, away from his father’s eye. Sarek would have most likely never approved of Amanda’s actions, as Spock’s strict Vulcan discipline had begun as soon as he was capable of coherent speech. Although his training would not allow him to outwardly admit it, Spock was thankful that his mother had been so persistent with her affections - the memories she had left imprinted in doing so had become priceless. Spock was sure that it was because of his mother that his childhood had not been completely unpleasant. And even though she was now gone, Spock had come to realize that he could “rest well,” so to speak, knowing that his mother had cherished and loved him.
But Jim…
Jim didn’t have that.
Spock felt his hands clench into fists behind his back.
It made no logical sense. Even Vulcans, as outwardly emotionless as they seemed, were driven to cherish and protect the children they bore. Had Jim truly gone through childhood without proper emotional care? Without hugs and human kisses and the ever-assuring presence of a mother’s attentiveness? It was clear that Jim was not wanting for food or any kind of bath, proving that his very basic needs had been met, but there were Klingons who treated their offspring better.
Illogical. Totally and intolerably illogical.
As Spock came out of his thoughts he discovered that McCoy had left the room, leaving him alone with Jim. The half-Vulcan looked up at the child, who would still not meet his eye. Spock felt as though something heavy was clenching in his abdomen. Though he had only been serving under his captain for one year, he and Jim had developed a rather close friendship. They had melded twice already, both times out of necessity - once to transfer important information while captured during an away mission, and once to save Jim’s life - and what Spock had seen of his captain’s mind proved that he truly was a good man at heart. It was a painful thing to realize that the man who was practically good to everyone - the man whom Spock had come to care so deeply for - had not been treated as well in the past.
It could not go on any longer.
After a short moment, Spock took a step closer to the biobed Jim was sitting on. As though summoning up the courage while doing so, he slowly pulled a hand from behind his back and extended it until it rested carefully on top of the boy’s head.
Jim chose that moment to look at him. His head jerked up in what Spock interpreted as surprise, but he did not pull away. Two slow seconds moved by before Spock decided the child was not uncomfortable with the contact and began smoothly carding his fingers through the blonde hair. As he did so, Spock could feel the light traces of emotions emanating from Jim - curiosity, slight wonder and, most noticeably, the lack of familiarity associated with touch. Spock could not fully suppress his frown, but quickly pushed away his darkening thoughts and continued to pet Jim’s head.
The child appeared to be enjoying his ministrations, and Spock could feel Jim’s initial hesitancy being slowly taken over by something else - an emotion he couldn’t quite place. Nevertheless, he felt unusually spurred by Jim’s seemingly positive reaction, and after a moment’s hesitation Spock bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead. He pulled back to find Jim’s expression more open than before, his shockingly blue eyes wide with a sense of awe.
Spock kissed him again. As more kisses followed without a second thought, Spock wondered if it had felt this comfortable and effortless for his mother whenever she had doted upon him as a child. If that was true, then he knew he would never fully understand the mindset of Jim’s own mother - truly, if giving such simple affections to such a deserving child brought forth as satisfying a sensation as he was currently experiencing, Jim’s mother was an utter fool not to do so.
He felt Jim’s hand come up to rest on his wrist. Spock pulled back and was greeted by the sight of a growing smile on the boy’s face, and if the pattern of low, breathy sounds coming from him was any good indicator, then Jim was laughing.
Feeling a small smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth, Spock leaned in again and continued to shower the child’s forehead with his affections.
It’s all right now, Jim. He placed a kiss on the boy’s nose. You are safe here.
He could hear the distinct footsteps of Doctor McCoy as he neared the exam room. Placing one last kiss on Jim’s cheek, and with a sense of reluctance, Spock pulled completely away, his fingers gently brushing against the boy’s palm as he maneuvered his hands back behind him. Within seconds he had schooled his expression into its regular appearance.
McCoy appeared at his side with a hypospray, evidently unaware of what had transpired in the room just seconds prior. As he moved to carefully administer it to the boy, Spock realized that Jim was still looking at him. Meeting the blue eyes, and remaining assured that the doctor’s back was still to him, Spock gave a small smile.
It could be their “little secret,” he supposed.
Fandom: Star Trek (XI)
Rating: G
Characters: Kirk (de-aged), Spock
Word count: 1147
Summary: After learning the truth of his captain's childhood, Spock makes a decision and begins to coax Jim out of his shell.
Warnings: Implied past emotional childhood neglect, fluff with an undertone of h/c.
Notes: This little piece is essentially a retelling of Bones' observation in "Never Too Late," except this time from Spock's point-of-view.
---------------
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)
---------------
He was so small.
It was a given fact at this point and did not benefit from further stressing, but to Spock the thought was illogically perplexing. Before him sat James T. Kirk, captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise: his biological identity had been resolutely confirmed by tricorder readings, as well as a full medical examination from Doctor McCoy. He was in ample health, and by all medical means - save the drastic reduction in age - there was nothing physically wrong with him.
But he was so small.
At four years of age, Jim appeared a ghost of his former self. Gone was the broad smile, the cheerful attitude and ringing laughter, instead replaced by a pair of downcast eyes, a disconcerting lack of expression, and an unnervingly silent voice. A Vulcan child would have at least been expressing some kind of curiosity, but Jim wasn’t even doing that. Spock could not comprehend it: from what he knew, human children were even more emotional and unrestrained than adults. They ran and they played and laughed, and why wasn’t Jim behaving in such a manner?
Then Doctor McCoy had revealed his most recent finding, and Spock found that his flow of coherent thought had been subtly disrupted.
After the doctor had finished explaining the origins of Jim’s condition, Spock could not help but think of the memories he had of his childhood, specifically those involving his mother. He could vividly remember the numerous human affections his mother had insisted on bestowing upon him when they were alone together, away from his father’s eye. Sarek would have most likely never approved of Amanda’s actions, as Spock’s strict Vulcan discipline had begun as soon as he was capable of coherent speech. Although his training would not allow him to outwardly admit it, Spock was thankful that his mother had been so persistent with her affections - the memories she had left imprinted in doing so had become priceless. Spock was sure that it was because of his mother that his childhood had not been completely unpleasant. And even though she was now gone, Spock had come to realize that he could “rest well,” so to speak, knowing that his mother had cherished and loved him.
But Jim…
Jim didn’t have that.
Spock felt his hands clench into fists behind his back.
It made no logical sense. Even Vulcans, as outwardly emotionless as they seemed, were driven to cherish and protect the children they bore. Had Jim truly gone through childhood without proper emotional care? Without hugs and human kisses and the ever-assuring presence of a mother’s attentiveness? It was clear that Jim was not wanting for food or any kind of bath, proving that his very basic needs had been met, but there were Klingons who treated their offspring better.
Illogical. Totally and intolerably illogical.
As Spock came out of his thoughts he discovered that McCoy had left the room, leaving him alone with Jim. The half-Vulcan looked up at the child, who would still not meet his eye. Spock felt as though something heavy was clenching in his abdomen. Though he had only been serving under his captain for one year, he and Jim had developed a rather close friendship. They had melded twice already, both times out of necessity - once to transfer important information while captured during an away mission, and once to save Jim’s life - and what Spock had seen of his captain’s mind proved that he truly was a good man at heart. It was a painful thing to realize that the man who was practically good to everyone - the man whom Spock had come to care so deeply for - had not been treated as well in the past.
It could not go on any longer.
After a short moment, Spock took a step closer to the biobed Jim was sitting on. As though summoning up the courage while doing so, he slowly pulled a hand from behind his back and extended it until it rested carefully on top of the boy’s head.
Jim chose that moment to look at him. His head jerked up in what Spock interpreted as surprise, but he did not pull away. Two slow seconds moved by before Spock decided the child was not uncomfortable with the contact and began smoothly carding his fingers through the blonde hair. As he did so, Spock could feel the light traces of emotions emanating from Jim - curiosity, slight wonder and, most noticeably, the lack of familiarity associated with touch. Spock could not fully suppress his frown, but quickly pushed away his darkening thoughts and continued to pet Jim’s head.
The child appeared to be enjoying his ministrations, and Spock could feel Jim’s initial hesitancy being slowly taken over by something else - an emotion he couldn’t quite place. Nevertheless, he felt unusually spurred by Jim’s seemingly positive reaction, and after a moment’s hesitation Spock bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead. He pulled back to find Jim’s expression more open than before, his shockingly blue eyes wide with a sense of awe.
Spock kissed him again. As more kisses followed without a second thought, Spock wondered if it had felt this comfortable and effortless for his mother whenever she had doted upon him as a child. If that was true, then he knew he would never fully understand the mindset of Jim’s own mother - truly, if giving such simple affections to such a deserving child brought forth as satisfying a sensation as he was currently experiencing, Jim’s mother was an utter fool not to do so.
He felt Jim’s hand come up to rest on his wrist. Spock pulled back and was greeted by the sight of a growing smile on the boy’s face, and if the pattern of low, breathy sounds coming from him was any good indicator, then Jim was laughing.
Feeling a small smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth, Spock leaned in again and continued to shower the child’s forehead with his affections.
It’s all right now, Jim. He placed a kiss on the boy’s nose. You are safe here.
He could hear the distinct footsteps of Doctor McCoy as he neared the exam room. Placing one last kiss on Jim’s cheek, and with a sense of reluctance, Spock pulled completely away, his fingers gently brushing against the boy’s palm as he maneuvered his hands back behind him. Within seconds he had schooled his expression into its regular appearance.
McCoy appeared at his side with a hypospray, evidently unaware of what had transpired in the room just seconds prior. As he moved to carefully administer it to the boy, Spock realized that Jim was still looking at him. Meeting the blue eyes, and remaining assured that the doctor’s back was still to him, Spock gave a small smile.
It could be their “little secret,” he supposed.