i dont know anymore
So ive decided that i am starting to not like it down here. Most of the people who i thought were friends are really just using me. I dont get along with my roommates anymore. They just want me living here because they dont want to find a person to take my place. I really only have a couple of true friends down here. And i really dont want to interrupt their lives. They all had good lives before i came down here. I feel like a third wheel again. Just like i did in abilene. Im really starting to wonder if i even belong here. If i dont...i really have nowhere to go. I cant go back to abilene because my mom never liked the friends i had there and once i moved i could see why. I cant go to lubbock because i would have no place to stay and the apartments up there are freakin outrageous. I really dont like the situation i am in. It seems that most everybody has turned on me. Only the good things happen when i am not there. I left abilene and what happened. Everybody started hanging out every night. It wasnt that way when i was there. If it was i never knew about it. Same thing down here. If i leave for a weekend or something, my roommates decide they want to throw a party and invite tons of people over. Which i am very pissed at because they broke into my room, got my poker chips and ruined my deck of shiner bock cards. They also ripped a few cards from another deck that belonged to me. And i am now the proud owner of a 297 chip set instead of the 300 chip set that i bought. And of course...i stay here this weekend and what happens? nothing. Exactly my point. Nothing good ever happens when i am around. Maybe i should make everybody happy and disappear. I am not talking about killing myself because that is just wrong. Im saying maybe i should just pack up my things and get the hell out of here and dont tell anybody where i went.