(DWP Mirandy fic): We was meant to be...
… but never meant to last.
Two muffled beeps sounded through the foyer as I finished bundling up in the latest Diana von Fürstenberg trench coat before making my way out of the townhouse and towards the waiting car. Roy stood patiently next to the back door, seemingly unaffected by the harsh, autumn wind that had suddenly kicked up, sending an involuntary shiver across my neck and down my spine.
A silent sigh of relief passed through my lips as I slid into the warm interior of the car and settled onto the blissfully heated leather seats. Roy's driving was as smooth as ever despite the stop-and-go chaos surrounding us. It seemed that the bitter breeze and damp, cloudy day had driven most of my fellow New Yorkers to opt for their own vehicles today and this was one of the rare times where I didn't mind the congested traffic that plagued our fair city. After all, you were the one that had insisted on this little meeting to 'clear the air' over a subject I had thought closed years ago when you'd left without any explanation.
I admit - if only to myself - that there had been a period of time when I'd taken great pleasure in concocting various ways to exact my revenge, but as the days turned into weeks, then months, my anger simply vanished and now I seldom gave you a second thought.
I could easily imagine the kicked puppy look you'd give if I were ever to admit this to you and while I'm positive this won't be anywhere near the friendly reunion I know you're hoping for, I don't plan to be so intentionally cruel either. This was already a major waste of my precious time - the twins had extracted dozens of promises from me that I would return in time to take them out tonight before they had finally relented and permitted me to leave - and I refused to waste any more emotion or mental capacity on assuaging your guilty conscience.
Blasting heat and the delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee welcomed me into the local café you'd chosen for this little heart-to-heart. Scanning the crowded sitting area, my eyes soon landed on your curly, brown locks and once-familiar form seated in the far back corner.
The sharp clack of my heals easily announced my arrival despite the noise level and before I was even halfway across the room, your eyes caught mine and that silly grin I once bore witness to nearly every day spread across your wide mouth.
"Hi!" you greeted enthusiastically, standing to meet me. "Can get you anything? Coffee?"
You acted as if not a day has passed since your abrupt departure.
"No…. thank you," I responded, watching as you flinch at my cool tone.
"Oh, okay. L-let's just t-take a seat then," you stuttered, smile gone and hurt shining from your expressive eyes.
Despite the heat filling the coffee shop, I left my coat on as I sat and crossed my stocking clad legs. I didn't intend to be here for long, after all, and it was all I coul do not to tap my heels impatiently as I waited for you to begin.
"So… how have you been?" you asked after several long moments of uncomfortable - for you - silence have passed.
"Small talk, really?" I drawled with a roll of my eyes. "My time is short and there's clearly a reason you insisted on meeting so urgently, so would you kindly fast forward to the main topic of this conversation."
I didn't really mean to be this harsh. I'd forgiven you years ago; pushed you to the back of my mind - where all disappointments of my past live - and moved on with my life.
Last I'd heard, you had as well, but that assumption was shattered when you pouted and muttered, "I… I want to apologize for the way I left. I am so sorry. It was petty and childish and you deserved better than that."
Remaining silent, I simply nodded in agreement to what we both know is the truth.
"What would you like me to say?" I asked sharply, ire rising when it was clear that's all you had to say. "Yes, the way you left hurt. You should have had the backbone to tell me to my face that you could no longer stand to be around me."
"I swear it wasn't like that," you protested.
"No, no," I interrupted with a wave of my hand. "It's my turn now."
Shoulders slumped, you merely nodded, waiting for the vicious diatribe you were sure I was about to unleash. Oh will I, but not for the reasons you were thinking.
"You drag me clear across town, taking up hours of what little, precious time I have to spend with my family and all you have to offer is a half-hearted apology?!"
My voice was a deadly quiet whisper - I refused to draw any more attention to us than my sheer presence already had - but you cowered as if I were screaming full force.
"I told you I was busy, but you simply refused to wait until tomorrow when really a note, an email, phone call, or hell, even a goddamned carrier pigeon would have sufficed to convey such a pathetic sentiment. Just as any one of those would have been welcome years ago. I had truly hoped you'd have learned by now not to treat others with such a callous disregard. It seems as though you're still only thinking of yourself and what you want and what you feel right at this moment. You never tried to understand my side of all that was going on. I trusted you to be there; I relied upon your presence and you abandoned me over some hurt feelings!"
Apparently, frustration over wasted time was not all I had been carrying with me today. A small amount of lingering hurt that had remained unnoticed in the depths of my subconscious had been released by my small rant and I now felt calmer… lighter.
It was this lightness that softened the harshness from my voice as I granted you the one thing I knew you'd come here seeking.
"That being said, I forgive you."
Your head popped up, shock written clearly across your features.
"Truthfully, I forgave you long ago, but thank you for actually saying the words."
"You're right; I should have stuck around long enough to explain. I never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry for pulling you away from your family." Your quick glance at my ring-adorned finger does not pass unnoticed, but I remained silent as you continued. " I just knew if I didn't do this today, I may never work up the courage again and you deserved to hear an actual apology."
A companionable silence fell between us as the idle chatter and clinking of ceramic mugs once again reasserted itself into our consciousness. My not-so-subtle check of the diamond studded Rolex watch I'd received last Christmas drew your attention.
"Do you have time for a quick cup of coffee before you go?"
I saw the hope shining in your eyes and any other day I might have said yes - if for no other reason than the sake of nostalgia.
"I can't," I replied with a soft shake of my head. "I promised my daughters I'd be home in time to take them and their friends to a haunted house tonight."
Your eyes widened in surprise and I wasn't sure if it was the thought of me, Miss hides-behind-her-hands-at-every-scary-movie, going to a haunted house or because I referred to the twins as mine.
"Y-your daughters?" you squeaked and there was my answer.
"Yes, Nate," I bristled. "MY daughters. They may not be of my blood, but they are my heart; just like their mother."
I knew this shouldn't be a surprise to you. Miranda and I made national headlines when we went public with our relationship and again two years later when a person couldn't turn a corner without seeing at least one picture of us from our wedding day. Thank goodness, all of that has died down now that we're just another boring married couple. Though, if they knew just how not boring being married to Miranda is, we'd have paparazzi following us 24/7.
I guess knowing and knowing really are two different things and that difference was clearly shown in the sad way you now looked at me.
"I loved you once, Nate, but now it's time for you to find the person you're meant to be with and I can only hope you can be as lucky as I am." I said with a gentle smile.
I gathered my things and stood as you sat there quietly. Leaning over, I pressed a soft kiss to your stubble-covered cheek and whispered, "Goodbye, Nate. I truly hope you have a happy life."
With that I was back out in the brisk wind, shooting a blinding smile to a waiting Roy who offered up his own relieved grin. Obviously, my earlier anger wasn't as well hidden as I'd believed it to be.
Roy's been driving Miranda for more than a decade and in all the time I've been around, I've never seen him even flinch at one of her bad moods. With me, however, if I frown the slightest bit, he goes all quiet and tense.
I asked him about it once after noticing it for about the fifth time. He turned beet red and became flustered, saying that when I was mad, truly angry, I was much scarier than Miranda in her worst mood. I had merely laughed until he reminded me of the MET gala Miranda and I had attended just over eight months after we had started dating.
We'd arrived separately, both agreeing that our relationship was still too new to subject it to the harsh spotlight of the press. All was well and good until I glanced across the room while speaking with Emily and Nigel - both of whom had been informed earlier in the week so there'd be no meltdowns with my arrival - to find Miranda cornered by some guy who was practically clawing at her. I later learned his name was Paul something-or-another and he was apparently another big name in publishing who was looking to "consolidate" their companies.
He had been just drunk enough to miss the cold smiles and evasive maneuvers my girlfriend was employing in order to get him to back the fuck off. All I remember were two different pairs of hands trying to hold me back as red clouded my vision.
Luckily, I was still aware enough of my surroundings not to cause a scene in the crowded ballroom as I pulled the useless jerk out a side door with a punishing grip on his arm. Once outside, however, I let fly every thought I had regarding Paul and his treatment of women, mine in particular. I don't remember one word of what I said, but Roy - who had been sneaking a quick smoke break - had witnessed every second.
He said the icy glare and scathing tone would have done Miranda proud. While she may not have watched me flaying a man alive, she did thank me in her own special way later that night for saving her from the 'paws of that odious man'.
Cheshire grin still in place from those pleasant memories, I bounded back up the townhouse steps and hastily unlocked the front door. Twin choruses of "MA!" greeted me, the door slamming from the combined weight of two enthusiastic fifteen-year-olds crashing me into the solid surface.
"Gosh, girls, I've only been gone two hours," I giggled, returning their crushing hugs.
"We know, Ma," Caroline said with a slight roll of her eyes, so like Miranda.
"We're just glad you're back in time. Mom said you had someone important to meet with and she wasn't sure how long it would take," Cassidy supplied quietly.
Despite the rough transition into their teenage years, the girls had always been sensitive to their mother's moods and this had 'insecure Miranda' written all over it.
"Hey," I said, gently lifting their chins until I could meet both pairs of blue eyes. "Nothingis more important to me than the two of you and your mom. I promised I would take you out tonight and I will always do my best to keep my promises, okay?"
I was glad to see the happy grins return at my sincere words.
"Alright you two, traffic is crazy out tonight so we'll need to leave as soon as you guys are ready."
Thunderous footsteps broadcast their progression through the house as I turned to face the silent apparition that had been hiding in the shadows since my return.
"Hey," I called again gently, hand held out towards the specter, gamely ignoring the watery blue eyes that drew ever closer until I could wrap an arm around a lithe waist.
Gently wiping a lone tear from a soft cheek, I ran my fingers through soft, white hair as I pulled the love of my life into a deep kiss. Her shapely form gradually relaxed against mine as the melding of mouths and meeting of tongues reassured her in a way mere words never seemed able.
I concentrated on pouring every ounce of love I held for her and our family into this silent reaffirmation of a promise I'd made years ago - one I'd repeated on our wedding day and one I strove to give proof of every day.
"As long as it is within my power, I will never leave you; not for anything or anyone else."