as soon as.
there's a dilemma.
In 8 days I will be out in Las Vegas, my new home, doing my new job. Las Vegas is certainly further from Chase in Nashville than Orlando, but it oddly feels closer. Maybe because I know I'll be able to throw myself into the job and give myself less time to sit around and miss him. But I don't think I'll miss him any less, I just won't have time to sit around and feel sorry for myself for being a blind idiot who had a wonderful boy in front of me for three years. I don't really believe in fate, but I do believe when times line up right, things have the potential to be perfect, and other time may ruin things. And perhaps this is how it had to be.
Working on the David Copperfield touring show is a great job for me. I think it really uses my talents; I may have just found my niche. And I keep telling myself, "This is what you went to school for. what do you expect? You can't walk away from this opportunity."
And I don't want to.
But here's your love cliche:
this one's different.
Not just different, better. Not perfect, but right. Scary and yet safe.
I received a real, truly epic, enduring and meaningful, love letter. I don't think I've ever received anything like this before. Nowhere near. Needless to say, I won't quote it. But it left me as full of emotion and turbulence and motivation as I ever was when reading a masterful book. At the same time, I remained quietly calm and delirious, reading it again and again in my car while the rain poured down in sheets.
--
1800 miles is a long way and worse-made when airlines rarely make direct flights to Las Vegas. Commitment to this was easily made, but waiting is not easy. Not that I expected it to be: it's harder not because I want freedom, but I just want him within arm's reach.
I know it is different because it makes me unbelievably happy to think about, even while having other sad thoughts about distance or anything else in life.
I know it is different because I was willing to be apart like this without question. While in other relationships, I didn't really have any desire to continue them once they had become long distance.
I know it is different because I know him. And for once, I'm not jumping into some random relationship with someone I don't know at all while being swept up in some faux whirlwind created by mystery and a fancy facade put on by both people. Imagine being swept up by your best friend. I never did until now. And you can't go back and erase all the stupid things you've done and the bad person you were at times, but they still love you.
I know it is different.
In 8 days I will be out in Las Vegas, my new home, doing my new job. Las Vegas is certainly further from Chase in Nashville than Orlando, but it oddly feels closer. Maybe because I know I'll be able to throw myself into the job and give myself less time to sit around and miss him. But I don't think I'll miss him any less, I just won't have time to sit around and feel sorry for myself for being a blind idiot who had a wonderful boy in front of me for three years. I don't really believe in fate, but I do believe when times line up right, things have the potential to be perfect, and other time may ruin things. And perhaps this is how it had to be.
Working on the David Copperfield touring show is a great job for me. I think it really uses my talents; I may have just found my niche. And I keep telling myself, "This is what you went to school for. what do you expect? You can't walk away from this opportunity."
And I don't want to.
But here's your love cliche:
this one's different.
Not just different, better. Not perfect, but right. Scary and yet safe.
I received a real, truly epic, enduring and meaningful, love letter. I don't think I've ever received anything like this before. Nowhere near. Needless to say, I won't quote it. But it left me as full of emotion and turbulence and motivation as I ever was when reading a masterful book. At the same time, I remained quietly calm and delirious, reading it again and again in my car while the rain poured down in sheets.
--
1800 miles is a long way and worse-made when airlines rarely make direct flights to Las Vegas. Commitment to this was easily made, but waiting is not easy. Not that I expected it to be: it's harder not because I want freedom, but I just want him within arm's reach.
I know it is different because it makes me unbelievably happy to think about, even while having other sad thoughts about distance or anything else in life.
I know it is different because I was willing to be apart like this without question. While in other relationships, I didn't really have any desire to continue them once they had become long distance.
I know it is different because I know him. And for once, I'm not jumping into some random relationship with someone I don't know at all while being swept up in some faux whirlwind created by mystery and a fancy facade put on by both people. Imagine being swept up by your best friend. I never did until now. And you can't go back and erase all the stupid things you've done and the bad person you were at times, but they still love you.
I know it is different.