Review....
.... of Death Race. Just seen it.
In a word - Meh. Thats about it.
I likve Stratham movies, action, quippy one-liners, violence. Throw in some hot women and it's usually a foregone conclusion that it's awesome.
Death Race fails. On an epic scale.
I wasn't expecting much - it's a remake of Death Race 2000 as people know, which in itself is an awesome if old movie. This is just a rehash.
Think of it as the movie of the game Carmageddon. Or a cross between the movies Fast and the Furious and The Condemned - but with all the good bits taken out.
First half of the film just about managed to not make me RAGE. Fuck knows the other b/tards on 4chan would fucking raep me for even tolerating it as much as I did, but damnit it wasn't abortion-level bad.
Then the gayest, most fucking shite and knuckle-headed plot flange of crapness happened. I'm not sure if the writers had strokes or seizures or just developed Downes but shit me - it was crap. Release the Dreadnaught.
At that point I laughed, ceased thinking the film would ever redeem itself and wondered why they did it. From what had been an action film with some subtle manipulation it was like the writers went "Dude, can you think of a clever, original or witty way to get from scene 28 to scene 34?" - "Nah dude. How about we just decimate the entire race with a fucking semi converted into a tank and kill everyone except the 2 people necessary to be alive at the end?"
WTF?
In the space of about 2 minutes it went from quite interesting to I-have-a-lot-of-dry-skin-around-my-nails-I'll-focus-on-chewing-it-off. Completely ruined the entire film - which was already on dodgy ground.
After that it was blatant and not even interesting. Fuck, In the Midnight Garden is written better. Least Maka-Paka isn't predictable.
In short - AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
Trust me - rent/buy The Condemned. Much, much, much, much, much better. Vinnie Jones, Stone Cold Steve Austin ... brilliant convict vs convict movie.
Just trust me. Don't waste your money on this pile of shit.
Oh - and don't even get me started on the fact they're making a Crank 2 with Stratham in who somehow survives at 30k ft fall because he's hyped on adrenaline. Something tells me he's becoming massively typcast and they're desperate for him to take any role that fits. *GRrrrrr*
RAGE.
In a word - Meh. Thats about it.
I likve Stratham movies, action, quippy one-liners, violence. Throw in some hot women and it's usually a foregone conclusion that it's awesome.
Death Race fails. On an epic scale.
I wasn't expecting much - it's a remake of Death Race 2000 as people know, which in itself is an awesome if old movie. This is just a rehash.
Think of it as the movie of the game Carmageddon. Or a cross between the movies Fast and the Furious and The Condemned - but with all the good bits taken out.
First half of the film just about managed to not make me RAGE. Fuck knows the other b/tards on 4chan would fucking raep me for even tolerating it as much as I did, but damnit it wasn't abortion-level bad.
Then the gayest, most fucking shite and knuckle-headed plot flange of crapness happened. I'm not sure if the writers had strokes or seizures or just developed Downes but shit me - it was crap. Release the Dreadnaught.
At that point I laughed, ceased thinking the film would ever redeem itself and wondered why they did it. From what had been an action film with some subtle manipulation it was like the writers went "Dude, can you think of a clever, original or witty way to get from scene 28 to scene 34?" - "Nah dude. How about we just decimate the entire race with a fucking semi converted into a tank and kill everyone except the 2 people necessary to be alive at the end?"
WTF?
In the space of about 2 minutes it went from quite interesting to I-have-a-lot-of-dry-skin-around-my-nails-I'll-focus-on-chewing-it-off. Completely ruined the entire film - which was already on dodgy ground.
After that it was blatant and not even interesting. Fuck, In the Midnight Garden is written better. Least Maka-Paka isn't predictable.
In short - AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
Trust me - rent/buy The Condemned. Much, much, much, much, much better. Vinnie Jones, Stone Cold Steve Austin ... brilliant convict vs convict movie.
Just trust me. Don't waste your money on this pile of shit.
Oh - and don't even get me started on the fact they're making a Crank 2 with Stratham in who somehow survives at 30k ft fall because he's hyped on adrenaline. Something tells me he's becoming massively typcast and they're desperate for him to take any role that fits. *GRrrrrr*
RAGE.