4chan delivers again!
So - trolling through 4chan I found the below piece of genius. It's basically what I was wanting to say to every ignorant fuck who was talking shit about this all week;
"IF I HEAR ONE MORE GOD DAMNED THING ABOUT THE LHC BLOWING UP THE WORLD, I'M GOING TO FUCKING GO APESHIT. THERE ARE OVER 9000 SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT ON THE ISSUE.
1) IT WILL CREATE A BLACK HOLE AND SUCK UP THE FUCKING WORLD.
a) IF IT DOES SUCK UP THE WORLD, THERE IS NOT A FUCKING GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. ENJOY YOUR LAST MONTH ON EARTH ETC. ETC.
b) IN THE EVENT THAT THE WORLD DOES END BECAUSE OF A FAGGOTASS BLACK HOLE, YOU WILL NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT IT HAPPENED AS IT WOULD BE INSTANTANEOUS. PLEASE SEE EXAMPLE:
Random Person: Welcome to Taco Bell! What can I get you?
Me: Hey uh, I'd like an apple empanada, a medium drink and... a cheesy double beef burri- FUCKING GONE. IT WILL BE DONE IN A SPLIT SECOND. YOU WILL NOT KNOW ITS COMING, MORE LIKELY THAN NOT, YOU WONT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE YOUR ATOMS WOULD BE FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE IN A MAYHEM. FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
SECOND SCHOOL OF THOUGHT.
1) IT WILL NOT COMMIT BLACK HOLE BULLSHIT, AND THE WORLD WILL NOT END.
a) HALF OF THE POPULATION WILL FEEL RETARDED. WHAT THEY ARE SIMULATING IN SWITZERLAND IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN SPACE ALL THE TIME. ARE/HAVE WE BEEN SUCKED UP BY A BLACK HOLE YET? NO. NO, NO, NO, FUCKING NO WE HAVE NOT BEEN.
b) WE MIGHT ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS SHIT. YEA, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IF THIS SHIT DOES WORK AND WE ARE NOT HORRIBLY ANNIHILATED IN (A FRACTION OF A FUCKING MILLISECOND) SOME COOL SHIT MIGHT HAPPEN. WE MIGHT DISCOVER NEW DIMENSIONS, THE HIGGS PARTICLE, OR SOMETHING OF EQUAL COOLNESS. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THIS SITUATION IS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO? TAKING A GOD DAMNED PILL.
EXAMPLE:
GENERIC PILL: EFFECT: USED FOR HEADACHE RELIEF AND DECONGESTION. SIDE EFFECTS: RUNNY NOSE, UPSET STOMACH. IN SOME EXTREME CASES, NAUSEA, INSOMNIA, SEIZURES OR DEATH MAY OCCUR.
SPIN THE FUCKING ROULETTE, FOLKS. CROSS YOUR FINGERS AND HOPE FOR THE BEST BECAUSE IT WONT MATTER EITHER WAY- (UNLESS WE GET SOME COOL SHIT FROM IT.)"
I wish people would stop trying to delve into pseudo-science like the world runs on comic-book power. Radioactive spiders don't bite people giving them awesome web-slinging powers, being bombarded with energy doesn't turn you green and massive and uber-strong and an experiment reproducing what happens all around the galaxy and universe a gazillion times a day won't annihlate everything.
Now, time to get ready and go out! Plus, my spider-sense is tingling ... or is it just pins and needles?
"IF I HEAR ONE MORE GOD DAMNED THING ABOUT THE LHC BLOWING UP THE WORLD, I'M GOING TO FUCKING GO APESHIT. THERE ARE OVER 9000 SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT ON THE ISSUE.
1) IT WILL CREATE A BLACK HOLE AND SUCK UP THE FUCKING WORLD.
a) IF IT DOES SUCK UP THE WORLD, THERE IS NOT A FUCKING GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. ENJOY YOUR LAST MONTH ON EARTH ETC. ETC.
b) IN THE EVENT THAT THE WORLD DOES END BECAUSE OF A FAGGOTASS BLACK HOLE, YOU WILL NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT IT HAPPENED AS IT WOULD BE INSTANTANEOUS. PLEASE SEE EXAMPLE:
Random Person: Welcome to Taco Bell! What can I get you?
Me: Hey uh, I'd like an apple empanada, a medium drink and... a cheesy double beef burri- FUCKING GONE. IT WILL BE DONE IN A SPLIT SECOND. YOU WILL NOT KNOW ITS COMING, MORE LIKELY THAN NOT, YOU WONT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE YOUR ATOMS WOULD BE FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE IN A MAYHEM. FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
SECOND SCHOOL OF THOUGHT.
1) IT WILL NOT COMMIT BLACK HOLE BULLSHIT, AND THE WORLD WILL NOT END.
a) HALF OF THE POPULATION WILL FEEL RETARDED. WHAT THEY ARE SIMULATING IN SWITZERLAND IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN SPACE ALL THE TIME. ARE/HAVE WE BEEN SUCKED UP BY A BLACK HOLE YET? NO. NO, NO, NO, FUCKING NO WE HAVE NOT BEEN.
b) WE MIGHT ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS SHIT. YEA, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IF THIS SHIT DOES WORK AND WE ARE NOT HORRIBLY ANNIHILATED IN (A FRACTION OF A FUCKING MILLISECOND) SOME COOL SHIT MIGHT HAPPEN. WE MIGHT DISCOVER NEW DIMENSIONS, THE HIGGS PARTICLE, OR SOMETHING OF EQUAL COOLNESS. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THIS SITUATION IS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO? TAKING A GOD DAMNED PILL.
EXAMPLE:
GENERIC PILL: EFFECT: USED FOR HEADACHE RELIEF AND DECONGESTION. SIDE EFFECTS: RUNNY NOSE, UPSET STOMACH. IN SOME EXTREME CASES, NAUSEA, INSOMNIA, SEIZURES OR DEATH MAY OCCUR.
SPIN THE FUCKING ROULETTE, FOLKS. CROSS YOUR FINGERS AND HOPE FOR THE BEST BECAUSE IT WONT MATTER EITHER WAY- (UNLESS WE GET SOME COOL SHIT FROM IT.)"
I wish people would stop trying to delve into pseudo-science like the world runs on comic-book power. Radioactive spiders don't bite people giving them awesome web-slinging powers, being bombarded with energy doesn't turn you green and massive and uber-strong and an experiment reproducing what happens all around the galaxy and universe a gazillion times a day won't annihlate everything.
Now, time to get ready and go out! Plus, my spider-sense is tingling ... or is it just pins and needles?