There's a girl in this dress, there's always a girl in distress
Jonny's final days studying at St Andrews, Pt. 1
"Then they played that song at the death disco, it started fast but it ends so slow, but all the time it reminded me of you."
Argh! Everything's going so fast!
Last Thursday, I went for coffee, with Nicholas, Fiona and Arthur. It was great, and I realised that that was the first time I'd been in the Quad since May 2005 while sitting MT2005 exam. It was most odd.
Sophie got back on Wednesday, and to the detriment of my revision, and despite the fact we had broken up, we seem to be more or less picking up where we left off, to the detriment of my revision.
We met up on Thursday, to exchange the Christmas presents, which a lifetime ago, in December, we'd agreed to give each other once she got back from Christmas break, before glandular fever made mockery of our plans. We kissed, knowing it was a bad enough idea that we shouldn't, but that it was too beautiful and and good not to. She was tipsy, having come from cocktails with her friends, so I walked her home.
On the way back in the dark, I couldn't stop smiling - the feeling of having someone who really likes me, who I really like, with whom it feels so right, and yet so doomed is something I've really been missing the last 4, or even 11 months... I've missed the feeling of excitement, of not having a clue how things are going to ultimately end up. And being excited, not scared, by the uncertainty.
I told her she could trust me and the idea of not doing so hadn't even crossed her mind.
Then the next morning, I was still up, and she was sick, so we ended up cancelling plans to see Iron Man; I tried to get more exam revision done with just about partial success. I ended up crashing out amongst my notes for the night.
We saw each other again Saturday night, and things were good.
Sunday night got interesting. Essentially, stuff got complicated, and it somehow arose that I was trying to engage in two simultaneous incredibly important conversations. Pamela started chatting to me for the first time in a month and a half at the same time as I was having an argument with Soph on the theme "we shouldn't see each other again". Two hard, extremely emotional conversations aren't that fun, especially if you're so tired you're not exactly sure how you got into one of them... All told, it's not the sort of thing you want 6 days before your first (of three) final exams.
Anyway, it finished with Soph going off to cry and Pamela telling that me she didn't know if she wanted to be my friend, and didn't have time to think about it at the moment. Then... I said the obvious things about being there if she wanted, wanting to be there for her, and there was nothing else to say, then.
So, on Sunday evening the girl I went out with for 8 months last year, where we were very much in love, whose friendship means a lot to me told me that, and the girl I'd sorta been going out with, in a very staccato long-distance sense, due to illness had gone off to cry, I'd been up too long, hadn't got enough work done, with my 100% exams in a week. At times the intensity of university is great and exciting, almost like living in a soap opera. At other times it is just painful and full of too much heartache and too tiring to cope with, like a soap opera.
After Soph didn't answer my calls, Alison ended up coming over, and we were kinda laughing about the inherent ridiculousness of the situation*. At this point, Soph called back, I somehow pulled out some personal charm and ended up heading over and things got a little better.
To be continued!
*If there isn't inherent ridiculousness, I don't want to know, as I need to hold on to some humour I think I see.
The peak of 'Sleep is for the weak' philosophy:
"You need showers, unlike sleep or food. If you don't shower, your face gets greasy and you can't lean on things properly."
"Then they played that song at the death disco, it started fast but it ends so slow, but all the time it reminded me of you."
Argh! Everything's going so fast!
Last Thursday, I went for coffee, with Nicholas, Fiona and Arthur. It was great, and I realised that that was the first time I'd been in the Quad since May 2005 while sitting MT2005 exam. It was most odd.
Sophie got back on Wednesday, and to the detriment of my revision, and despite the fact we had broken up, we seem to be more or less picking up where we left off, to the detriment of my revision.
We met up on Thursday, to exchange the Christmas presents, which a lifetime ago, in December, we'd agreed to give each other once she got back from Christmas break, before glandular fever made mockery of our plans. We kissed, knowing it was a bad enough idea that we shouldn't, but that it was too beautiful and and good not to. She was tipsy, having come from cocktails with her friends, so I walked her home.
On the way back in the dark, I couldn't stop smiling - the feeling of having someone who really likes me, who I really like, with whom it feels so right, and yet so doomed is something I've really been missing the last 4, or even 11 months... I've missed the feeling of excitement, of not having a clue how things are going to ultimately end up. And being excited, not scared, by the uncertainty.
I told her she could trust me and the idea of not doing so hadn't even crossed her mind.
Then the next morning, I was still up, and she was sick, so we ended up cancelling plans to see Iron Man; I tried to get more exam revision done with just about partial success. I ended up crashing out amongst my notes for the night.
We saw each other again Saturday night, and things were good.
Sunday night got interesting. Essentially, stuff got complicated, and it somehow arose that I was trying to engage in two simultaneous incredibly important conversations. Pamela started chatting to me for the first time in a month and a half at the same time as I was having an argument with Soph on the theme "we shouldn't see each other again". Two hard, extremely emotional conversations aren't that fun, especially if you're so tired you're not exactly sure how you got into one of them... All told, it's not the sort of thing you want 6 days before your first (of three) final exams.
Anyway, it finished with Soph going off to cry and Pamela telling that me she didn't know if she wanted to be my friend, and didn't have time to think about it at the moment. Then... I said the obvious things about being there if she wanted, wanting to be there for her, and there was nothing else to say, then.
So, on Sunday evening the girl I went out with for 8 months last year, where we were very much in love, whose friendship means a lot to me told me that, and the girl I'd sorta been going out with, in a very staccato long-distance sense, due to illness had gone off to cry, I'd been up too long, hadn't got enough work done, with my 100% exams in a week. At times the intensity of university is great and exciting, almost like living in a soap opera. At other times it is just painful and full of too much heartache and too tiring to cope with, like a soap opera.
After Soph didn't answer my calls, Alison ended up coming over, and we were kinda laughing about the inherent ridiculousness of the situation*. At this point, Soph called back, I somehow pulled out some personal charm and ended up heading over and things got a little better.
To be continued!
*If there isn't inherent ridiculousness, I don't want to know, as I need to hold on to some humour I think I see.
The peak of 'Sleep is for the weak' philosophy:
"You need showers, unlike sleep or food. If you don't shower, your face gets greasy and you can't lean on things properly."