downpours, and some small bits of sunshine
Went "home" for part of the weekend. I don't want to call it home, I don't want to call it "my parent's house" because that's inaccurate, and I don't want to call it "Mom's house" because it's rather sad to think of it that way. I guess I could just call it by the city name, but that doesn't reflect that it's 1) where i grew up and 2) semi-beloved.
Matt's grad party went smoothly and the weather forecast, which called for T-storms and potentially a tornado watch, proved completely false. It was sunny. The rest of the time it was raining and dreary. Presque Isle visit = Fail. Since I hadn't seen J in a week, I left Saturday for home (after dinner with Dad at Texas Roadhouse, yum) BUT it was silly of me to do that because he intended to relax and recover from the conference for the remainder of the weekend.
So, today I went biking, hiking, and shopping by myself. I needed some nature and some reflection. Instead, I initially encountered a bunch of happy family-like groups celebrating father's day with a short walk along the canal. I don't have the benefit of sudden revelations, but occasionally my mind puzzles things out in a short time, given the right input. I'm cynical towards weddings and families because... I want those relationships back.
I feel very... solitary.
It's not a bad thing. Occasionally we encounter people that we "click" with, and we can pretend we understand every part of each other, and our lives mesh perfectly. And then they are suddenly gone, or we slowly wander away, or somewhere in between. And I wonder: can you meet them again? I haven't yet, but it's a relatively young life.
I mused over this during my hike, and I randomly picked a really good footpath. Everything was damp from the downpours we've had, and the canopy leaves were very thick and let through very small glimmers of sun. One esker had a public camping chair at the top that said "Stolen from Crescent Trail" in case someone decided to take it. There were some perfectly hug-able tulip poplars, possibly the best I've ever seen. All in all, good for introspection, and to clear my head. I would have probably preferred Presque Isle, as I still have a deep desire to walk along the beach there, but I guess it is what it is.
Then I found a hydropack for future hikes and bikes, and bought some toothpaste.
You only lose what you cling to.
Matt's grad party went smoothly and the weather forecast, which called for T-storms and potentially a tornado watch, proved completely false. It was sunny. The rest of the time it was raining and dreary. Presque Isle visit = Fail. Since I hadn't seen J in a week, I left Saturday for home (after dinner with Dad at Texas Roadhouse, yum) BUT it was silly of me to do that because he intended to relax and recover from the conference for the remainder of the weekend.
So, today I went biking, hiking, and shopping by myself. I needed some nature and some reflection. Instead, I initially encountered a bunch of happy family-like groups celebrating father's day with a short walk along the canal. I don't have the benefit of sudden revelations, but occasionally my mind puzzles things out in a short time, given the right input. I'm cynical towards weddings and families because... I want those relationships back.
I feel very... solitary.
It's not a bad thing. Occasionally we encounter people that we "click" with, and we can pretend we understand every part of each other, and our lives mesh perfectly. And then they are suddenly gone, or we slowly wander away, or somewhere in between. And I wonder: can you meet them again? I haven't yet, but it's a relatively young life.
I mused over this during my hike, and I randomly picked a really good footpath. Everything was damp from the downpours we've had, and the canopy leaves were very thick and let through very small glimmers of sun. One esker had a public camping chair at the top that said "Stolen from Crescent Trail" in case someone decided to take it. There were some perfectly hug-able tulip poplars, possibly the best I've ever seen. All in all, good for introspection, and to clear my head. I would have probably preferred Presque Isle, as I still have a deep desire to walk along the beach there, but I guess it is what it is.
Then I found a hydropack for future hikes and bikes, and bought some toothpaste.
You only lose what you cling to.