People I Hate: An Incomplete List
-customers who ask for more than a pound of any sliced deli meat (like you need that much anyway. It's just going to go bad before you can eat it.)
-customers who ask for more than a half-pound of anything "very thinly sliced" (after a pound of prosciutto, my arm is about to fall off--and do you even realize how much prosciutto that IS? Probably not, because there are many, many slices in a pound!)
-customers who get upset when we don't have house-brand salad dressing. No, we don't carry it anymore; no, I don't know why; yes, it was really good; no, there isn't a secret stash in the back where I can get you more. Just DEAL WITH IT. If you really cared about your salad dressing, you'd make your own, it's not that hard.
-customers who are snobby and tell me all about their wine and the meal that they're going to pair with this cheese or salad. Dude--if you really care THAT much about cheese, find an actual cheese shop. We have a good selection, but don't act like you're some kind of foodie.
-customers who ask for more than a half-pound of anything "very thinly sliced" (after a pound of prosciutto, my arm is about to fall off--and do you even realize how much prosciutto that IS? Probably not, because there are many, many slices in a pound!)
-customers who get upset when we don't have house-brand salad dressing. No, we don't carry it anymore; no, I don't know why; yes, it was really good; no, there isn't a secret stash in the back where I can get you more. Just DEAL WITH IT. If you really cared about your salad dressing, you'd make your own, it's not that hard.
-customers who are snobby and tell me all about their wine and the meal that they're going to pair with this cheese or salad. Dude--if you really care THAT much about cheese, find an actual cheese shop. We have a good selection, but don't act like you're some kind of foodie.