the package & bright red shorts

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A step by step guide to my day thus far:

1. I wake up. Grudgingly, might I add. However I wake up nonetheless.
2. I unpack my yoga clothes from last night's Yoga class, and lay out my gym clothes for today's workout.
3. I have my toast and coffee, brush my teeth and leave.
4. I get to the gym.
5. I unpack my sneakers, shirt... and wait... I have no gym shorts.
6. I stare with a blank expression and at my shortless gym bag and decide to form a plan.
7. I put my pants back on, and head towards to front counter.
8. I ask the attendant how much their shorts are. She laughs at me.
9. She finally pulls the one pair of shorts she has. It's bright red and a size large. She tells me to try it on.
10. I head back to the locker, try on the shorts, only to promptly remove them. They give me a package the size of , oh I don't know, a large package. It left nothing to the imagination. There was no way I was working out in these. It would have been bad for everyone involved.
11. I return the shorts, leave, and hope for a better workout tomorrow. With package-less shorts. That aren't bright red. And thus calling more attention to the nether region.