(no subject)
"Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me
Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon"
-Bright Eyes
i didnt mean to be so crass in my last entry. i just feel like the people that say they care about me never call, never pick up when i call, never want to chill, and i just want to let go of it all now. id rather hurt now than hurt when i leave.
but at the same time, no one wants to hurt, so when i do i get angry and i lash out. just like any other human being. i dont know why i change my mind so much. i dont know why i react so violently to little things. but what i do know is that i just want to be happy. i forgot what it feels like not to have a care, not have something weighing on my mind..maybe one day.
im starting to realize that i cant just throw myself into relationships anymore. i already have so much baggage, and if i keep it up, ill have so much that ill never get to get married and be happy.
alot of things are becoming more real every day. im coming to grips with alot of character flaws of mine and im trying to fix them because i want to be the best person i can be.
And you've been good to me
Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon"
-Bright Eyes
i didnt mean to be so crass in my last entry. i just feel like the people that say they care about me never call, never pick up when i call, never want to chill, and i just want to let go of it all now. id rather hurt now than hurt when i leave.
but at the same time, no one wants to hurt, so when i do i get angry and i lash out. just like any other human being. i dont know why i change my mind so much. i dont know why i react so violently to little things. but what i do know is that i just want to be happy. i forgot what it feels like not to have a care, not have something weighing on my mind..maybe one day.
im starting to realize that i cant just throw myself into relationships anymore. i already have so much baggage, and if i keep it up, ill have so much that ill never get to get married and be happy.
alot of things are becoming more real every day. im coming to grips with alot of character flaws of mine and im trying to fix them because i want to be the best person i can be.