Tia
Last night I had a dream, a dream that starts off like any other one. Me. But this dream was different. It wasn't like me being a superhero or saving a life or even me getting laid in a dream. This was about me finally getting what I deserve, about me finally being able to be happy, even if it just was for 6 hours I was happy. I don't know what to do anymore. I talk all this shit on how oh this girl's cute I wanna get with her but when the time comes I choke. I don't choke because i'm scared or because I don't want to hear the wrong answer, I choke because I don't want to be with them for real. There's only one girl who I want and she's unreachable. I love her. No matter what she put me throught I still love her. She was the only girl I ever been with who fully understood what it is to be me. And she loved me for it. Last night's dream felt dream felt so real that I didn't wanna wake up. It was like I wasn't dreaming but living my regular life. It's killing me inside that what we had will never be again and I can't deal with it. When I look around this fucking world all I see is everybody beign happy and in love but not me. I've frogotten what it feels like to be in love. Right now love is a word that holds no meaning to me.