Immersed in Life
Last night I had dinner with some former students and their housemates (one who is also a coworker of mine). S. cooked a rustic Indian dal which she said that her mother would be horrified to know she was serving to guests. We ate with our fingers. I told the story about picking up Blanche's ashes, and did so in a far more entertaining way than in my brief entry here. It made me remember that I can be funny. I made them all laugh -- belly laughter -- more than once. It felt good.
When we sat down for dinner everyone at the table held hands in silence before eating. If and when someone was moved to express gratitude verbally they did so, but mostly we sat in silence until it felt as if we were done. During this time I found that a surge of emotion was welling up inside of me, like BOOM, out of nowhere, and I very nearly started to cry. Perhaps it is because I hadn't had a moment in a long time to just be silent, or maybe because I really did feel deeply happy and grateful to be in the presence of people that I love and admire (even though in many ways we don't know each other well). I suppose it doesn't much matter why, but I do know that when we did break the circle I was pleased there was rustic dal to be eaten with fingers, thus drawing attention away from my teary eyes.
When I came home I watched a DVD on my laptop. Yesterday I wasn't able to go to the particular movie place where I'll be able to procure my femmes fatales offerings, and instead had to grab something from the local hip & groovy drugstore/video emporium. Following Sean is a documentary much in the tradition of the British 7-Up series. The filmmaker, Ralph Arlyck, tracked down a kid who'd been the subject of a 1960's controversial film about Haight-Ashbury, and looks at how his life developed. The 'kid' (now an adult) is actually about the same age as me. The film ends up weaving together a variety of narratives -- Sean, various members of his family, and the filmmaker's own family in a 'fascinating rumination on the unpredictability of life'. Probably because I'm in the midst of trying to come to terms with my own set of unpredictabilities I spend a lot of time thinking about the shapes that each of our lives take -- in both expected and unexpected ways. I didn't come away from Following Sean with any answers, but it was nice to spent some quiet time immersed in these many forms of experience.
Now I'm off to my insanely busy day, which will include visit #2 to my own personal symbo/mythologist. Yay!
When we sat down for dinner everyone at the table held hands in silence before eating. If and when someone was moved to express gratitude verbally they did so, but mostly we sat in silence until it felt as if we were done. During this time I found that a surge of emotion was welling up inside of me, like BOOM, out of nowhere, and I very nearly started to cry. Perhaps it is because I hadn't had a moment in a long time to just be silent, or maybe because I really did feel deeply happy and grateful to be in the presence of people that I love and admire (even though in many ways we don't know each other well). I suppose it doesn't much matter why, but I do know that when we did break the circle I was pleased there was rustic dal to be eaten with fingers, thus drawing attention away from my teary eyes.
When I came home I watched a DVD on my laptop. Yesterday I wasn't able to go to the particular movie place where I'll be able to procure my femmes fatales offerings, and instead had to grab something from the local hip & groovy drugstore/video emporium. Following Sean is a documentary much in the tradition of the British 7-Up series. The filmmaker, Ralph Arlyck, tracked down a kid who'd been the subject of a 1960's controversial film about Haight-Ashbury, and looks at how his life developed. The 'kid' (now an adult) is actually about the same age as me. The film ends up weaving together a variety of narratives -- Sean, various members of his family, and the filmmaker's own family in a 'fascinating rumination on the unpredictability of life'. Probably because I'm in the midst of trying to come to terms with my own set of unpredictabilities I spend a lot of time thinking about the shapes that each of our lives take -- in both expected and unexpected ways. I didn't come away from Following Sean with any answers, but it was nice to spent some quiet time immersed in these many forms of experience.
Now I'm off to my insanely busy day, which will include visit #2 to my own personal symbo/mythologist. Yay!