Oh go fuck yourself, Joe O'Connor.

Sep 20, 2012 10:06

Indeed, there are more finite calculations involved: Career demands. Timing. Not having a partner, or not having the right partner. Flaky fears about overburdening our already overburdened planet, personal choice and a bunch of other hooey that serve to hide the fact that happy couples that choose not to have kids are, at root, well, let’s see: ( Read more... )

children

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wendykh September 20 2012, 18:11:39 UTC
Also, the description of the childfree people makes childfree life sound totally appealing. And like kids are an excuse for being haggard. Kids don't always make one haggard, but a loss of joie de vivre sure does.

I really do not get the people who rip on the childfree, then present having children as such drudgery and misery, like some sort of badge of honour after going through war. Meh. Sure some days are hard. Of course it isn't "easy." But neither is running a marathon, or training for one. But Olly's almost a real official legal adult now and ya know I just don't feel like I went through some war or anything. I enjoy time with our kids, I love the people they are and are becoming and being a family. And I'm hardly haggard.

Oh and another secret? Being a stay home mom is NOT the hardest job in the world. At worst, it's boring and mind numbing at times. But provided there is economic security (um that isn't guaranteed even when both parents work necessarily) it's really not a BFD. It's important, underappreciated, and taken for granted too often, but it's hardly "hardest job in the world."

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dzuunmod September 20 2012, 20:32:53 UTC
Re: your last secret I always felt that way too! Like, all it takes is a straight-up comparison to another underappreciated, taken-for-granted, important job: teacher.

What's more difficult, watching the 1 or 5 kid(s) that you've raised yourself (and thus had the opportunity to impart on them your values, beliefs, etc) everyday, or watching 30 kids from all walks of life everyday, and trying to get them to learn?

I don't say that to denigrate stay-at-home-moms, and I realize that teachers to varying extents are able to punch the clock (although I'll tell you now that any teacher who lives in a community in the Yukon outside of Whitehorse - whether it's college, high school or elementary takes ALL KINDS of requests after hours), but it's not as difficult as teaching. Or nursing. Or any number of other jobs.

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wendykh September 20 2012, 23:14:57 UTC
Yeah. I think a lot of women mean they don't like childcare/housework when they say that. Which is perfectly fine. But I didn't like working at Burger King either. That doesn't mean it was the "hardest job in the world." I got into this HUGE ass fight with this woman one time who had one (1) child who was NOT special needs, age four (4) and she stayed home with him for six months and her house was a disaster and he destroyed lots ofpersonal property... red marker on white couches type stuff. I'm like wtf were you doing all day? She insis this was harder than her 70+ hour work weeks in finance. I'm like bitch please you just don'tlike doing it. If she REALLY thinks it's so hard why is she hiring a unilingual mexican nanny for peanuts under the table and working her like a dog?

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