Parked... Quiet, slow, and still breathtaking
Yesterday I finally watched Parked. As soon as I found it I knew it'd be a great movie, but when I accidentally found out the end of the film I just couldn't make myself to watch it. The months were passing by and now here I am; after about 5 months I report I survived it... Barely survived it.
It was a quiet, slow movie, beautiful and breathtaking, not in the 'oh my god it's so exciting' way but in the 'oh what the hell is just happening with him' and 'I can't watch him getting himself into more troubles' or 'how unbelievably beautiful this story, this man, this man's soul is; he must survive, he must find the true path somehow' way.
It has a real message to the people out in the world. The leading man, Fred is a middle-aged man who actually lost everything. He has no house, no money, not even a woman in his life, only his car where he lives in. He just moves in a car park and stays there for a while, when he gets a 'neighbour' in the person of Cathal (Colin Morgan). Cathal is like Fred; he has nothing, except his car... and his drug addiction. The only difference between the two men is Fred is a pessimist who can't find the colours of the life, actually his life is full of monotony while Cathal dares to live, he loves to live. Isn't it strange to say that someone who's using drugs actually loves the life? I think it is, but I'm sure he does.
Before I continue my feelings for the movie I have something to say about all the people who're using drugs. I don't hate them, not even judge them. Not at all. I know some people who hate all the ones with drug addiction, but I have something to say to them: I don't hate these people. I only hate all the drug dealers. You don't have to be a miserable man to turn to these addictions. Sometimes it's enough when someone puts something in your drink, you don't even have to know about it. Or a bad company... But drug dealers have a big part in making other people turn to these toxics and ruin their lives, just for they can get money. This is the real disgusting thing for me.
Back to the main topic, well, we don't know surely if Cathal was a victim of these things or not, but he said he could escape from the real world by them, and he talked about his father as a prick; we learned about how sad his life was. His mother is dead and after her death, what was 'caused by cancer, his father blamed him for everything. Actually we have suspicions that Cathal has already used drugs even when his mother was alive and couldn't stop himself. His mother was on his side but not his father, the man didn't even help him. I think his dad was so disappointed that he just turned his back to his own son, he didn't even had the intention to help him what is a bad decision I think. As a parent he should have helped him. Not with money but with therapy or something. I can’t not blame him for what had happened to Cathal.
Now back to Fred, who was the actual main character of the movie (well, I think we can't say it just like this, with or without my feelings for Colin I must say Cathal was at least as much important as Fred), he had a long path to walk along to finally find himself and live a happier life. To the end of the movie he learned how to enjoy the life even when you have nothing. One of my favourite scenes is when Cathal secretly fixed Fred's car and they went on a trip. Fred didn't dare to break the speed limit what really pissed Cathal off. Then the young man showed Fred what is like using high speed, how it feels. At the end Fred got in his car and tried it like Cathal did just several minutes before... And then he realized it how fantastic it is, what a good feeling it is. What is more - and what is really surprised me -, he also tried weed out. It was 'only' one pull just out of curiosity.
And after all he pulled himself together and thanks for Cathal he had some chance to meet Jules, the woman he liked, even if he felt pathetic when she was around. Cathal tried to fix him, tell him that Jules also liked him, or he should have given a chance to himself and talk about the fact that he lived in a car and had nothing.
It's sad the truth had to be unmasked only after the tragedy happened. Cathal made Fred sure he only smokes the drugs and never injects them. The day Fred wanted to talk about his real life to Jules, Fred found out the sad truth; Cathal did also inject himself. The young man panicked, he must have felt shame, while Fred left him with disappointment in his heart.
The real problem was when the dealer came along with his partner to Cathal. Cathal was left like half dead and he went to his father's house with the last hope in his heart. Actually he broke into the house, stole a bite of pizza and some milk from the fridge when his father showed up. Cathal asked the man to help him out but of course, he didn't. He was all like 'you broke your mother's heart and she couldn't live' and then he left him, even if Cathal just said if he won't get the money what he needed then it'll be his box. I can understand why he didn't give him the money, I don't say this was bad. No, he was right with that. But he was bad when he didn't help his son when all the nightmares begun or when he learned about his addiction. Maybe I'm mistaken but I just have this feeling he didn't even tried.
However, the man didn't care after all and that was it. Cathal stole some money from his father and was going to the dealer but he never got him. The next scene was so horrible, so painful, I can't describe it. No matter how fantastic this movie is, I'm not sure if I ever would be able to watch it again.
At the end of the movie Jules learned about all Fred's secrets and Cathal. She was understanding but she decided to left. I think she needed some time, but she left a gift to Fred what had a meaning she really liked the man.
One of the most saddest scenes was when Fred went to George, Cathal's dad's house. He took the watch of Cathal with him what the young man has got from his dad; it was a memory of a time when their relationship was good, when everything was fine. Cathal never left that watch before. Even when he said his father was a prick, he kept the watch like the last thing from his earlier life which he could hold on to. When Fred met George he talked about the relationship of Cathal and him, how good friends they were and that Cathal really taught him how to enjoy the life again. Cathal's dad couldn't believe the both of them were talking about the same man, that his son could be someone like that. George must have known that Cathal was a good man, even if he treated the guy as he did. He just didn't know how to react, what to do with all the problems what came along with Cathal's addiction. Well, I think he must have revalued everything when Fred gave him the watch. It was such a bitter, such a heart braking moment, you just could see the recognition on the man's face like 'Oh my God, he kept it, he really did. I must have meant something for him, maybe I was all wrong and should have helped him somehow, now I lost him too'. So, yeah, it's a perfect way to symbolize when people just understand they're late and can do nothing anymore.
What I also really loved was the scene when Fred went to the sports centre and finally he was able to jump off right into the pool. I knew it'd happen, I just knew it after the first time he tried it and wasn't successful since he didn't dare to do it. At the end he found himself, he could see the world in a new way and was able to live his life bravely, happier. It was a nice ending.
Just one more little thing... I think I have too much 'favourite parts' but I must highlight this one last scene. When Fred and Cathal are sitting in the car after their trip, right after Fred had his first and last pull of the weed, there's a beautiful scene. When Cathal is watching the lights of the city and he resembles them to fireworks. For me it also shows how beautiful his soul is, but in the other hand there's the next moment when Cathal is talking about a memory. A memory when his dad took him and his mother to a fireworks display. It was from the good times and you can tell Cathal really treasured it. Whatever he said George was meant a lot to him, he just couldn't find the way back alone.
And then, there's this:
Cathal: "Have you ever seen a leaf fall off a tree?"
Fred: "What?"
Cathal: "Have you ever seen the actual moment when a leaf breaks from its branch?"
Fred: "No. I can't say that I have."
Cathal: "It's a beautiful thing."
Well, after the earlier sentences this whole scene is like if Cathal is just remembering of an other memory, it's so out of the blue. I don't know, I just can imagine him as a child sitting on a bench with his father, watching the falling leaves together. And then there is the irony of it. A leaf which is leaving its branch is beautiful but it's also a lonely and said moment. It's like when a child leaves their parents like Cathal did or at least I think he did. And now there is nothing beautiful but sadness in this moment. Maybe it's just me but I liked this part so much, it's absolutely my favourite one.
And just to not only talking about the movie I must say all the actors made a wonderful job here. I should highlight all of them but since I only know Colin Morgan I’ll go with him. So he was incredible, this was... I think the third role I’ve ever seen him in and all of his roles were different. He played embarrassed Irish gay man, always troublemaker but still wise and the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and now a drug addict and yet full of life young man, who could change someone’s life. And the repertoire is not over yet, I can’t wait to watch Island which he plays an autistic in as far as I know, and we didn’t even mentioned his roles in theatres like The Tempest. Oh, how I wish to see it once. Colin Morgan. In the Tempest. In the Globe. Well, it’s a dream. Oh, and I should not forget about that little video from uni or whatever it was. It was such a breathtaking role. So all in all I must say he played all of these roles extremely well, actually perfectly and it shows me what a fantastic actor he is. I’m trying not to be too biased but it’s pretty hard when it’s about Colin Morgan. I can remember the first moment when I saw my first ever Merlin episode years and years ago and I was all like ‘WTH is this? And who the hell is this idiot with his dumb ears? A young Merlin?! Hell no!’ And then I just started watching the show half a year ago and became a fan of it... And after several episodes I became a fan of Merlin. And without realizing I also became a fan of Colin. ‘Cause he is like this. Can’t describe what an unbelievably good actor he is. I can’t do anything but repeating myself.
Now I'd really like to close my thoughts with the beautiful words of Fred what Cathal could only hear completely after his death:
"In the middle of the journey of life, I was in a dark wood for I'd lost the true path. And so we came forth and once again, beheld the stars."
It was a quiet, slow movie, beautiful and breathtaking, not in the 'oh my god it's so exciting' way but in the 'oh what the hell is just happening with him' and 'I can't watch him getting himself into more troubles' or 'how unbelievably beautiful this story, this man, this man's soul is; he must survive, he must find the true path somehow' way.
It has a real message to the people out in the world. The leading man, Fred is a middle-aged man who actually lost everything. He has no house, no money, not even a woman in his life, only his car where he lives in. He just moves in a car park and stays there for a while, when he gets a 'neighbour' in the person of Cathal (Colin Morgan). Cathal is like Fred; he has nothing, except his car... and his drug addiction. The only difference between the two men is Fred is a pessimist who can't find the colours of the life, actually his life is full of monotony while Cathal dares to live, he loves to live. Isn't it strange to say that someone who's using drugs actually loves the life? I think it is, but I'm sure he does.
Before I continue my feelings for the movie I have something to say about all the people who're using drugs. I don't hate them, not even judge them. Not at all. I know some people who hate all the ones with drug addiction, but I have something to say to them: I don't hate these people. I only hate all the drug dealers. You don't have to be a miserable man to turn to these addictions. Sometimes it's enough when someone puts something in your drink, you don't even have to know about it. Or a bad company... But drug dealers have a big part in making other people turn to these toxics and ruin their lives, just for they can get money. This is the real disgusting thing for me.
Back to the main topic, well, we don't know surely if Cathal was a victim of these things or not, but he said he could escape from the real world by them, and he talked about his father as a prick; we learned about how sad his life was. His mother is dead and after her death, what was 'caused by cancer, his father blamed him for everything. Actually we have suspicions that Cathal has already used drugs even when his mother was alive and couldn't stop himself. His mother was on his side but not his father, the man didn't even help him. I think his dad was so disappointed that he just turned his back to his own son, he didn't even had the intention to help him what is a bad decision I think. As a parent he should have helped him. Not with money but with therapy or something. I can’t not blame him for what had happened to Cathal.
Now back to Fred, who was the actual main character of the movie (well, I think we can't say it just like this, with or without my feelings for Colin I must say Cathal was at least as much important as Fred), he had a long path to walk along to finally find himself and live a happier life. To the end of the movie he learned how to enjoy the life even when you have nothing. One of my favourite scenes is when Cathal secretly fixed Fred's car and they went on a trip. Fred didn't dare to break the speed limit what really pissed Cathal off. Then the young man showed Fred what is like using high speed, how it feels. At the end Fred got in his car and tried it like Cathal did just several minutes before... And then he realized it how fantastic it is, what a good feeling it is. What is more - and what is really surprised me -, he also tried weed out. It was 'only' one pull just out of curiosity.
And after all he pulled himself together and thanks for Cathal he had some chance to meet Jules, the woman he liked, even if he felt pathetic when she was around. Cathal tried to fix him, tell him that Jules also liked him, or he should have given a chance to himself and talk about the fact that he lived in a car and had nothing.
It's sad the truth had to be unmasked only after the tragedy happened. Cathal made Fred sure he only smokes the drugs and never injects them. The day Fred wanted to talk about his real life to Jules, Fred found out the sad truth; Cathal did also inject himself. The young man panicked, he must have felt shame, while Fred left him with disappointment in his heart.
The real problem was when the dealer came along with his partner to Cathal. Cathal was left like half dead and he went to his father's house with the last hope in his heart. Actually he broke into the house, stole a bite of pizza and some milk from the fridge when his father showed up. Cathal asked the man to help him out but of course, he didn't. He was all like 'you broke your mother's heart and she couldn't live' and then he left him, even if Cathal just said if he won't get the money what he needed then it'll be his box. I can understand why he didn't give him the money, I don't say this was bad. No, he was right with that. But he was bad when he didn't help his son when all the nightmares begun or when he learned about his addiction. Maybe I'm mistaken but I just have this feeling he didn't even tried.
However, the man didn't care after all and that was it. Cathal stole some money from his father and was going to the dealer but he never got him. The next scene was so horrible, so painful, I can't describe it. No matter how fantastic this movie is, I'm not sure if I ever would be able to watch it again.
At the end of the movie Jules learned about all Fred's secrets and Cathal. She was understanding but she decided to left. I think she needed some time, but she left a gift to Fred what had a meaning she really liked the man.
One of the most saddest scenes was when Fred went to George, Cathal's dad's house. He took the watch of Cathal with him what the young man has got from his dad; it was a memory of a time when their relationship was good, when everything was fine. Cathal never left that watch before. Even when he said his father was a prick, he kept the watch like the last thing from his earlier life which he could hold on to. When Fred met George he talked about the relationship of Cathal and him, how good friends they were and that Cathal really taught him how to enjoy the life again. Cathal's dad couldn't believe the both of them were talking about the same man, that his son could be someone like that. George must have known that Cathal was a good man, even if he treated the guy as he did. He just didn't know how to react, what to do with all the problems what came along with Cathal's addiction. Well, I think he must have revalued everything when Fred gave him the watch. It was such a bitter, such a heart braking moment, you just could see the recognition on the man's face like 'Oh my God, he kept it, he really did. I must have meant something for him, maybe I was all wrong and should have helped him somehow, now I lost him too'. So, yeah, it's a perfect way to symbolize when people just understand they're late and can do nothing anymore.
What I also really loved was the scene when Fred went to the sports centre and finally he was able to jump off right into the pool. I knew it'd happen, I just knew it after the first time he tried it and wasn't successful since he didn't dare to do it. At the end he found himself, he could see the world in a new way and was able to live his life bravely, happier. It was a nice ending.
Just one more little thing... I think I have too much 'favourite parts' but I must highlight this one last scene. When Fred and Cathal are sitting in the car after their trip, right after Fred had his first and last pull of the weed, there's a beautiful scene. When Cathal is watching the lights of the city and he resembles them to fireworks. For me it also shows how beautiful his soul is, but in the other hand there's the next moment when Cathal is talking about a memory. A memory when his dad took him and his mother to a fireworks display. It was from the good times and you can tell Cathal really treasured it. Whatever he said George was meant a lot to him, he just couldn't find the way back alone.
And then, there's this:
Cathal: "Have you ever seen a leaf fall off a tree?"
Fred: "What?"
Cathal: "Have you ever seen the actual moment when a leaf breaks from its branch?"
Fred: "No. I can't say that I have."
Cathal: "It's a beautiful thing."
Well, after the earlier sentences this whole scene is like if Cathal is just remembering of an other memory, it's so out of the blue. I don't know, I just can imagine him as a child sitting on a bench with his father, watching the falling leaves together. And then there is the irony of it. A leaf which is leaving its branch is beautiful but it's also a lonely and said moment. It's like when a child leaves their parents like Cathal did or at least I think he did. And now there is nothing beautiful but sadness in this moment. Maybe it's just me but I liked this part so much, it's absolutely my favourite one.
And just to not only talking about the movie I must say all the actors made a wonderful job here. I should highlight all of them but since I only know Colin Morgan I’ll go with him. So he was incredible, this was... I think the third role I’ve ever seen him in and all of his roles were different. He played embarrassed Irish gay man, always troublemaker but still wise and the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and now a drug addict and yet full of life young man, who could change someone’s life. And the repertoire is not over yet, I can’t wait to watch Island which he plays an autistic in as far as I know, and we didn’t even mentioned his roles in theatres like The Tempest. Oh, how I wish to see it once. Colin Morgan. In the Tempest. In the Globe. Well, it’s a dream. Oh, and I should not forget about that little video from uni or whatever it was. It was such a breathtaking role. So all in all I must say he played all of these roles extremely well, actually perfectly and it shows me what a fantastic actor he is. I’m trying not to be too biased but it’s pretty hard when it’s about Colin Morgan. I can remember the first moment when I saw my first ever Merlin episode years and years ago and I was all like ‘WTH is this? And who the hell is this idiot with his dumb ears? A young Merlin?! Hell no!’ And then I just started watching the show half a year ago and became a fan of it... And after several episodes I became a fan of Merlin. And without realizing I also became a fan of Colin. ‘Cause he is like this. Can’t describe what an unbelievably good actor he is. I can’t do anything but repeating myself.
Now I'd really like to close my thoughts with the beautiful words of Fred what Cathal could only hear completely after his death:
"In the middle of the journey of life, I was in a dark wood for I'd lost the true path. And so we came forth and once again, beheld the stars."
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