Comedy Cliches
Request for the audience to "give it up" for the announcer.
Heeey! Y'all give it up for the announcer one time. Give it up for him!! Ha HA!
Observational statement about how many people of a certain ethnicity are "in the house." Speaking to one or two people of said ethnicity individually. [If the audience is majority Black/POC, reminder of white people to not say the N-word and/or to guard themselves as they leave the building.]
Yeah, yeah, I see the white people are in the house. Yeeeaaah, white people here. Aaaww and look at this one here. What's your name? Skippy? Nah, I'm just fuckin with you. I'm just fuckin with you. Thanks for coming out. But be careful. I dunno if you noticed but... *in a whisper voice* there's a lot of black people in the audience. Guard your shit when you leave. Haha!
Generalizations about races, including but not limited to comparisons and contrasts of whites and blacks. If possible, highlight difference in sexual styles and/or prowess. Do a physical/verbal demonstration of the difference in sexual behavior.
I love white people though. I love white people. Don't they walk funny though? They be walkin like this... *demonstrates walk* And see we walk like this... *demonstrates walk* But the real way you can tell a white person from a black person is by how they fuck. Right? Am I right? 'Cause see black women fuck like this so they won't mess up their hair. *demonstrates* But white women fuck like this 'cause they just wild. *demonstrates* Am I right?!
If male: Ponderance as to where the "independent ladies" are. Backhanded comment that no woman is truly independant. Comments about "golddiggers."
Where my independent ladies at?!?!? *breif pause for applause* ...Stop lyin'. Y'all ain't independent 'cause if I offered to pay your rent... you'd take my money. And I hate golddiggers, yo. I hate golddiggers. They be like...*puts on overly "Black woman sassy" voice* "I need my hair done!!" Ha hhaa! Am I right?
If female: Ponderance as to where the men that are "packing" are. Backhanded comment that most men have little dicks. Comments about "wack dick" men and men with small penii.
Where the men with the big dicks at?!? Come on! Clap for your dick! Represent for your dick! Hmmm... the applause was a little light I wonder how big it really is. And man I hate how brothas lie on their dick. I hate that shit. They be like, they be like... *puts on overly "masculine" voice* "I'll rock yo world, girl." ...And then they come in 2 minutes. Like Missy said, "I don't want no minute man!!!!" HA HAAAAAAA!
Scan the audience for people with hairstyles and/or clothes that stand out. Clown them.
Now look at this one here in the fatigues. Lookin like a black GI Joe. The war is THAT way!*points* Ha HAAAA!
Make a joke about hair weaves. Possibly make a horse comparison.
Where all the ladies with the real hair?! *pause for applause* ...Stop lyin'. See, y'all misunderstood. By real hair I meant YOUR real hair. That shit ain't yours. That's Pukalaia's. SHE grew that shit. Fuck around, it might be Mr. Ed's. Am I right? Am I right?!
If overweight, begin to make self-deprecating jokes about weight. Transition into self-aggrandizing jokes about sexual prowess.
See, y'all don't understand. I'm big. I'm not trynna walk around with my shirt off. I'm not trynna be Tyson or Tyrese. I'm BIG!
...But I could fuck though. HA HAAAA!
Jokes about growing up poor.
Man, I was poor growing up. We was PO! We was so po' we ate bologna sandwiches with no bologna. HA HAAA!
"That's my time."
That's my time y'all! Goodnight!
Heeey! Y'all give it up for the announcer one time. Give it up for him!! Ha HA!
Observational statement about how many people of a certain ethnicity are "in the house." Speaking to one or two people of said ethnicity individually. [If the audience is majority Black/POC, reminder of white people to not say the N-word and/or to guard themselves as they leave the building.]
Yeah, yeah, I see the white people are in the house. Yeeeaaah, white people here. Aaaww and look at this one here. What's your name? Skippy? Nah, I'm just fuckin with you. I'm just fuckin with you. Thanks for coming out. But be careful. I dunno if you noticed but... *in a whisper voice* there's a lot of black people in the audience. Guard your shit when you leave. Haha!
Generalizations about races, including but not limited to comparisons and contrasts of whites and blacks. If possible, highlight difference in sexual styles and/or prowess. Do a physical/verbal demonstration of the difference in sexual behavior.
I love white people though. I love white people. Don't they walk funny though? They be walkin like this... *demonstrates walk* And see we walk like this... *demonstrates walk* But the real way you can tell a white person from a black person is by how they fuck. Right? Am I right? 'Cause see black women fuck like this so they won't mess up their hair. *demonstrates* But white women fuck like this 'cause they just wild. *demonstrates* Am I right?!
If male: Ponderance as to where the "independent ladies" are. Backhanded comment that no woman is truly independant. Comments about "golddiggers."
Where my independent ladies at?!?!? *breif pause for applause* ...Stop lyin'. Y'all ain't independent 'cause if I offered to pay your rent... you'd take my money. And I hate golddiggers, yo. I hate golddiggers. They be like...*puts on overly "Black woman sassy" voice* "I need my hair done!!" Ha hhaa! Am I right?
If female: Ponderance as to where the men that are "packing" are. Backhanded comment that most men have little dicks. Comments about "wack dick" men and men with small penii.
Where the men with the big dicks at?!? Come on! Clap for your dick! Represent for your dick! Hmmm... the applause was a little light I wonder how big it really is. And man I hate how brothas lie on their dick. I hate that shit. They be like, they be like... *puts on overly "masculine" voice* "I'll rock yo world, girl." ...And then they come in 2 minutes. Like Missy said, "I don't want no minute man!!!!" HA HAAAAAAA!
Scan the audience for people with hairstyles and/or clothes that stand out. Clown them.
Now look at this one here in the fatigues. Lookin like a black GI Joe. The war is THAT way!*points* Ha HAAAA!
Make a joke about hair weaves. Possibly make a horse comparison.
Where all the ladies with the real hair?! *pause for applause* ...Stop lyin'. See, y'all misunderstood. By real hair I meant YOUR real hair. That shit ain't yours. That's Pukalaia's. SHE grew that shit. Fuck around, it might be Mr. Ed's. Am I right? Am I right?!
If overweight, begin to make self-deprecating jokes about weight. Transition into self-aggrandizing jokes about sexual prowess.
See, y'all don't understand. I'm big. I'm not trynna walk around with my shirt off. I'm not trynna be Tyson or Tyrese. I'm BIG!
...But I could fuck though. HA HAAAA!
Jokes about growing up poor.
Man, I was poor growing up. We was PO! We was so po' we ate bologna sandwiches with no bologna. HA HAAA!
"That's my time."
That's my time y'all! Goodnight!