The Polite NYers Guide for non-NYers
1. We *do* have trees. Ever heard of Central Park, brainiac?
2. No, we are not all arrogant assholes. There are about 8 million people in this city. If you think it is possible for 8 million people to all share ANY one trait, your stupidity is a threat to society. Please kill yourself.
3. If you're gonna visit, learn how to walk. If you MUST gawk at signs, buildings and pigeons, move tf out of my way.
4. Neither Brooklyn nor Harlem are the dark, creepy, scary places that they are portrayed to be. And yes white people can walk around and not be afraid of randomly getting jacked just for being white. Black folks are too busy worrying about important shit like bills and how to not get randomly shot or penetrated rectally with a plunger by the NYPD to be worrying about some random white person walking down the street. And we're already plotting to kill three white people at our job. If you really need to be concerned about a black person wanting to harm you, work with one and ask to touch their hair.
5. The subway is not as intimidating as you think it is. If you can master highways and byways, you can manage the MTA. Have you ever just randomly gotten on a highway with no regard for whether you were going north, south, east or west? Then why the fuck do you think you can just hop on a train without seeing if it's going uptown or downtown?!
6. No, Manhattan is not just your personal shopping paradise. People live here. (Yes, some chick at a summer camp I went to really acted surprised when I said I lived in Manhattan. She seemed to think the island was here solely for her shopping trips).
7. And yes some of those people are black. Ever heard of Harlem? We're sprinkled in the other parts of the borough as well. (How does a place nicknamed "the melting pot" become known to some as devoid of black folks??)
8. The five boroughs are Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island. Long Island is NOT a borough. Harlem is NOT a borough. Mount Vernon is NOT a borough. Neither Crown Heights nor Flatbush are boroughs. In fact, pretty much everything else that you think is a borough is a section of an actual borough (except for LI, which is just a whole 'nother city).
9. Oh for fuck's sake. Here's a map!
10. If you think, we're anything like Friends, Seinfeld or The Cosby Show, get rid of your tv NOW.
Honorable Mention: Yes, we do get real weather =p@Mikey
Nah, seriously, I know we ALL have to deal with misconceptions about where we live based on madness the media spreads or just the general ign'ance of folks. I'd like to see y'all make lists like this about where you live.
2. No, we are not all arrogant assholes. There are about 8 million people in this city. If you think it is possible for 8 million people to all share ANY one trait, your stupidity is a threat to society. Please kill yourself.
3. If you're gonna visit, learn how to walk. If you MUST gawk at signs, buildings and pigeons, move tf out of my way.
4. Neither Brooklyn nor Harlem are the dark, creepy, scary places that they are portrayed to be. And yes white people can walk around and not be afraid of randomly getting jacked just for being white. Black folks are too busy worrying about important shit like bills and how to not get randomly shot or penetrated rectally with a plunger by the NYPD to be worrying about some random white person walking down the street. And we're already plotting to kill three white people at our job. If you really need to be concerned about a black person wanting to harm you, work with one and ask to touch their hair.
5. The subway is not as intimidating as you think it is. If you can master highways and byways, you can manage the MTA. Have you ever just randomly gotten on a highway with no regard for whether you were going north, south, east or west? Then why the fuck do you think you can just hop on a train without seeing if it's going uptown or downtown?!
6. No, Manhattan is not just your personal shopping paradise. People live here. (Yes, some chick at a summer camp I went to really acted surprised when I said I lived in Manhattan. She seemed to think the island was here solely for her shopping trips).
7. And yes some of those people are black. Ever heard of Harlem? We're sprinkled in the other parts of the borough as well. (How does a place nicknamed "the melting pot" become known to some as devoid of black folks??)
8. The five boroughs are Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island. Long Island is NOT a borough. Harlem is NOT a borough. Mount Vernon is NOT a borough. Neither Crown Heights nor Flatbush are boroughs. In fact, pretty much everything else that you think is a borough is a section of an actual borough (except for LI, which is just a whole 'nother city).
9. Oh for fuck's sake. Here's a map!
10. If you think, we're anything like Friends, Seinfeld or The Cosby Show, get rid of your tv NOW.
Honorable Mention: Yes, we do get real weather =p@Mikey
Nah, seriously, I know we ALL have to deal with misconceptions about where we live based on madness the media spreads or just the general ign'ance of folks. I'd like to see y'all make lists like this about where you live.