Lessons
Today as I was walking from the courthouse towards the train station on my way to work I felt close to my mother. I didn't *feel* Her, but felt *close* to Her (if that is understandable). I thought about a split moment in my life and a lesson I learned from Her and my sister.
For starters, my mother was not formally educated. She was wise, knowledgeable, crafty, clever, witty... She was bad, but She did not graduate high school. She dropped out after She had my sister at about age 16. My sister and I were fortunate enough to go to college and get degrees, but She was not.
When I was about 13 or 14, I was sitting in the living room with my gramma (who was sleeping), mother and sister. My mother grabbed Her tummy and said "my stomach hurts." Now I, wanting to show how smart I was (and having remembered that anatomy lesson where I learned that the stomach wasn't located behind the abdomen, but rather higher and closer to beneath the breast/chest area) began to laugh and asked Her if her stomach was hurting why She wasn't grabbing higher. My sister gave me this look. My mother didn't really reply, just got up and got something to soothe Herself. But I'll never forget my sister's look. With just her face she said "what the fuck are you trying to prove?"
I didn't get it then, but I got it now. At the time, all I could think was "well aren't I right??" *smh*
What we gain in trying to elevate ourselves above others, we lose in connection to those same people. And I don't give a damn how bad you are we all need someone in some way.
I understand now, Lynette. Thank you.
For starters, my mother was not formally educated. She was wise, knowledgeable, crafty, clever, witty... She was bad, but She did not graduate high school. She dropped out after She had my sister at about age 16. My sister and I were fortunate enough to go to college and get degrees, but She was not.
When I was about 13 or 14, I was sitting in the living room with my gramma (who was sleeping), mother and sister. My mother grabbed Her tummy and said "my stomach hurts." Now I, wanting to show how smart I was (and having remembered that anatomy lesson where I learned that the stomach wasn't located behind the abdomen, but rather higher and closer to beneath the breast/chest area) began to laugh and asked Her if her stomach was hurting why She wasn't grabbing higher. My sister gave me this look. My mother didn't really reply, just got up and got something to soothe Herself. But I'll never forget my sister's look. With just her face she said "what the fuck are you trying to prove?"
I didn't get it then, but I got it now. At the time, all I could think was "well aren't I right??" *smh*
What we gain in trying to elevate ourselves above others, we lose in connection to those same people. And I don't give a damn how bad you are we all need someone in some way.
I understand now, Lynette. Thank you.