(no subject)
A few minutes ago some wretched, old witch with a hole in her roof told me to go back to Africa. Man, I love my job.
Evil, racist witch: Can I get help? I have a flood.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: What is the flood due to?
Evil, racist witch: I don't know.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: Well, ma'am, I need to know what it's due to in order to help you. Is it due to a pipe bursting?
Evil, racist witch: *pause way too long for someone calling in the middle of the damn night* I think so.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: Well how long have you had it?
Evil, racist witch: About two months.
Wondering why this heffa waited two months to call the Red Cross, but STILL Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am!: Have you contacted your landlord?
*we go through the landlord schpeal. she's contacted them. they haven't done anything.*
Irrationally patient Eb still wiping the cold from her eyes: Unfortunately, we can't help you ma'am. This is a tenant and landlord issue.
Horrible timing old heffa whose piping problem must've fucked up her clocks!: This is a disaster. You're supposed to help.
Saint Ebony: We don't assist in any situation that can be solved between tenant and landlord, ma'am.
*more double talking including me repeating myself at least 4 times and STILL trying to find other solutions for her.*
Satan's wife: So are you gonna help us or not? [Mind you, I asked the old skank if she lived by herself and she said yes.]
Saint Eb: Who's "us?"
Lyin, old, racist skank: The people that need help. We're freezing out here.
Heavenly Ebony: Who's "we?"
*more back and forth in which she asks my name. 'cause you know, that's intimidating shit right there.*
Shriveled bat: They told me you're supposed to help us.
Cooler than cool Eb: Who's "they?"
Granny with drips: Don't worry about it. Credible people. And I've got your name. And if you don't help us, I'm gonna get a lawyer and file a law suit!!!
Ice cold Eb: Threatening me won't help you.
Wade in the water Nana: Look here, you fuckin black bitch, you better help us or I'm gonna make you sorry. Go back to Africa! Do you hear me?! Put your supervisor on the phone!
Dry Eb: *snickers* I guess my supervisor would have to "go back to Africa" as well.
Follow the drip: I don't care! You better help me NOW!
Lady who can hold her water: Haha. I don't think so. *click* ::dial tone::
*takes a bow*
I'm sure she's not getting into heaven. I mean, unless she prays real hard.
Evil, racist witch: Can I get help? I have a flood.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: What is the flood due to?
Evil, racist witch: I don't know.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: Well, ma'am, I need to know what it's due to in order to help you. Is it due to a pipe bursting?
Evil, racist witch: *pause way too long for someone calling in the middle of the damn night* I think so.
Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am: Well how long have you had it?
Evil, racist witch: About two months.
Wondering why this heffa waited two months to call the Red Cross, but STILL Irrationally calm Eb @ 6/5 am!: Have you contacted your landlord?
*we go through the landlord schpeal. she's contacted them. they haven't done anything.*
Irrationally patient Eb still wiping the cold from her eyes: Unfortunately, we can't help you ma'am. This is a tenant and landlord issue.
Horrible timing old heffa whose piping problem must've fucked up her clocks!: This is a disaster. You're supposed to help.
Saint Ebony: We don't assist in any situation that can be solved between tenant and landlord, ma'am.
*more double talking including me repeating myself at least 4 times and STILL trying to find other solutions for her.*
Satan's wife: So are you gonna help us or not? [Mind you, I asked the old skank if she lived by herself and she said yes.]
Saint Eb: Who's "us?"
Lyin, old, racist skank: The people that need help. We're freezing out here.
Heavenly Ebony: Who's "we?"
*more back and forth in which she asks my name. 'cause you know, that's intimidating shit right there.*
Shriveled bat: They told me you're supposed to help us.
Cooler than cool Eb: Who's "they?"
Granny with drips: Don't worry about it. Credible people. And I've got your name. And if you don't help us, I'm gonna get a lawyer and file a law suit!!!
Ice cold Eb: Threatening me won't help you.
Wade in the water Nana: Look here, you fuckin black bitch, you better help us or I'm gonna make you sorry. Go back to Africa! Do you hear me?! Put your supervisor on the phone!
Dry Eb: *snickers* I guess my supervisor would have to "go back to Africa" as well.
Follow the drip: I don't care! You better help me NOW!
Lady who can hold her water: Haha. I don't think so. *click* ::dial tone::
*takes a bow*
I'm sure she's not getting into heaven. I mean, unless she prays real hard.