Continuation
Nosy Kevin (lol) IMed me to talk about the sexuality entry I made. Basically I believe sexual orientation is much more than just sexual attraction and he thinks that's all it is.
Begin IM - 4/29/02 8:24 PM
Sword Priest [7:52 PM]: i read your diary...
DyvineSweetness [7:52 PM]: nosy!
DyvineSweetness [7:53 PM]: the part about sexuality?
Sword Priest [7:53 PM]: yes
DyvineSweetness [7:53 PM]: whatcha thank?
Sword Priest [7:53 PM]: you werent on when i read it so I let Dani have it again after i finished reading it
Sword Priest [7:54 PM]: i forgot what i said to her... but i still disagree..
DyvineSweetness [7:54 PM]: i thought you would. stubborn...
Sword Priest [7:54 PM]: especially about the emotional imput
DyvineSweetness [7:54 PM]: go on
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: i was basically what does emotions have to do with whether you like girls/guys/or both
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: i'm not sayin theres nothing mental about it
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: but this is basically a black and white concept
DyvineSweetness [7:55 PM]: because one can be physically attrated to both sexes but only emotionally atrracted to one
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: so....
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: if you look at a girl and you get horny... to me your bi-sexual
DyvineSweetness [7:56 PM]: so... there's the difference
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: whether or not you'd sleep with her or not
Sword Priest [7:57 PM]: emotions have to do with individual relationships
DyvineSweetness [7:57 PM]: i see bisexuality as being equally able to mate and have a relationship with both sexes
Sword Priest [7:57 PM]: you cant be emotionally attached to someone you havent met or have no relationship with
Sword Priest [7:58 PM]: no bisexuality is you having lust for both sexes... whether or not you have a relationship has nothing to do with sexuality
Sword Priest [7:58 PM]: if a girl has nothin but one-night stands with a guy is she not heterosexual?
DyvineSweetness [7:58 PM]: no i think that's what people have come to believe or interpret as bisexuality
DyvineSweetness [7:59 PM]: of course but that girl has the ability to have emotional relatioships with guys. she just chooses not to
Sword Priest [7:59 PM]: if you are physically attracted to both guys and girls you should have the ability to be emotionally attached to both
Sword Priest [7:59 PM]: but thats irrelevant...
DyvineSweetness [8:00 PM]: maybe you should, but that doesn't mean you can
Sword Priest [8:00 PM]: sexual orientation is purely a physical concept..
Sword Priest [8:00 PM]: because physical is the common demoninator
DyvineSweetness [8:01 PM]: if it's purely physical then how come gay people can never have sex with the same sex yet know they're gay?
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: if not A (you are not physically attracted to a sex).. than B(you wont have sex with that sex)
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: because they get hard-ons lookin at guys
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: if I go my whole life not having sex with a woman that doesnt mean i'm not straight
DyvineSweetness [8:01 PM]: orientation is not solely about getting hard ons and getting wet
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: it's more than just wanting to have sex
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: that is the bottom line
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: your speaking of something other than sexual orientation
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: that's the most basic smallest aspect of orientation
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: what am i speaking of Kevin?
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: its the only aspect
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: i dont know but its not sexual orientation
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: relationship orientation maybe
DyvineSweetness [8:03 PM]: relationship orientation? lol
DyvineSweetness [8:03 PM]: what is that but sexual orientation?
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: sounds funny... i know but so does "i'm a degree"...
Sword Priest [8:04 PM]: its not the same
DyvineSweetness [8:04 PM]: what? the kinsey scale?
DyvineSweetness [8:04 PM]: may sound funny to you, but it makes perfect sense to me
Sword Priest [8:04 PM]: this is jsut something for people who dont want to be stigmatized and have an easy outlet
Sword Priest [8:05 PM]: i mean whats wrong with admitted you get turned on by both sexes
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: no, if people don't want to be labeled or stigmatized they can just choose not to label themselves atall
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: and not use the kinset scale either
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: kinsey*
Sword Priest [8:05 PM]: ok you can choose not to label yourself... thats fine
DyvineSweetness [8:06 PM]: there's nothing wrong with admitting it
Sword Priest [8:06 PM]: but if you open up and say "I would have sex with both a guy and a girl"... your bisexual
DyvineSweetness [8:07 PM]: i just don't see it that way. if you can't have a relationship with both, then you're not bi
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: even if its not equal attraction levels
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: relationships have nothing to do with sex... thats a whole nother level
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: your trying to incorporating apples and oranges
DyvineSweetness [8:08 PM]: gay people front and date the opposite all the time
DyvineSweetness [8:08 PM]: but they're still gay
Sword Priest [8:08 PM]: because they dont want to be stigmatized by society
**Parts cut out to not confuse others as I confused myself lol**
Sword Priest [8:09 PM]: ...oh so now relationships have everything to do with sex...
Sword Priest [8:10 PM]: lol i'm about to get on a whole other subject.. but back to the question at hand
DyvineSweetness [8:10 PM]: i'm mixing up my concepts. i meant to say orientation has nothing to do with sex
DyvineSweetness [8:10 PM]: the act itself, that is
DyvineSweetness [8:11 PM]: you can go to the other subject, if you like
Sword Priest [8:11 PM]: the art of emotions is on an individual basis... sexual orientation isnt
Sword Priest [8:11 PM]: no... i've had the debate more than enough
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: but that's the idea I'm trying to introduce or rather trying to explain., that orientation can be an individual thing
Sword Priest [8:12 PM]: sexual orientation has nothing to do with the act of sex itself but whether you are attracted to the other physically
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: well what were you thinking? just for curiosity's sake
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: exactly!
DyvineSweetness [8:13 PM]: AND whether you can mate and have a relationship with that sex
Sword Priest [8:13 PM]: i'm was goin to get into "Can there be a relationship (bf/gf) without sex" shit
Sword Priest [8:13 PM]: but eb that is the act of sex
DyvineSweetness [8:13 PM]: ooohhh lol that. well i actually kinda agree and disagree with you on that one, but as you said. been there, done that
DyvineSweetness [8:14 PM]: what is the act of sex?
Sword Priest [8:14 PM]: your basically sayin sexual orientation is based upon individual relationships...
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: i'm sayin sexual orientations is based on your view of society
DyvineSweetness [8:15 PM]: go on
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: that married man analogy
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: he only sleeps iwth his wife to please her but he wants dick..
Sword Priest [8:16 PM]: now... according to your standards what is he?
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: no he gets arousal of out sex with her but would prefer a man much more
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: i can't give him a bi/gay/straight label
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: i can't see him as any
Sword Priest [8:17 PM]: are you being honest...
DyvineSweetness [8:17 PM]: of course! I have no reason to lie. If you forced me to label him, I'd say he was straight with bi tendencies
DyvineSweetness [8:17 PM]: but that seems odd
Sword Priest [8:18 PM]: but the fact he isnt having sex with a guy doesnt mean he isnt bi
DyvineSweetness [8:19 PM]: that's not what makes me not call him bi. what makes me not call him bi is the fact that he said he could never fall in love with a man
Sword Priest [8:19 PM]: I dont wish anything bad on you but it'd be interesting for your future husband to up and tell you one day "I wanna dick in me"... and to see your reaction
DyvineSweetness [8:19 PM]: he can never feel for a man the way he feels for a woman
Sword Priest [8:19 PM]: relationship orietation
DyvineSweetness [8:20 PM]: I'd be confused. try to be understanding. Actually I don't even know. I've never experienced anything like that ---
DyvineSweetness [8:21 PM]: you're creating concepts Kev
Sword Priest [8:21 PM]: relationship orientation= can only have a relationship with one sex
DyvineSweetness [8:22 PM]: lol you can give it any definition you want since you created the doggone thing
Sword Priest [8:22 PM]: everything has a beginning
DyvineSweetness [8:23 PM]: very true.
DyvineSweetness [8:24 PM]: i still equate that with sexual orientation though
Sword Priest [8:25 PM]: well I cant possibly see how you do but.. if thats what you wanna believe.. do ya thing
DyvineSweetness [8:25 PM]: blah same to you
Sword Priest [8:26 PM]: not a lot of things surprise me when i talk to people but if someone tells me that they like guys and girls and they not bi.. but spit with some degrees... i'm lookin at them funny
DyvineSweetness [8:27 PM]: yeah yeah yeah
I hate his stubborn behind. lol But seriously, I respect his input. I just wish he respected mine the same way.
Begin IM - 4/29/02 8:24 PM
Sword Priest [7:52 PM]: i read your diary...
DyvineSweetness [7:52 PM]: nosy!
DyvineSweetness [7:53 PM]: the part about sexuality?
Sword Priest [7:53 PM]: yes
DyvineSweetness [7:53 PM]: whatcha thank?
Sword Priest [7:53 PM]: you werent on when i read it so I let Dani have it again after i finished reading it
Sword Priest [7:54 PM]: i forgot what i said to her... but i still disagree..
DyvineSweetness [7:54 PM]: i thought you would. stubborn...
Sword Priest [7:54 PM]: especially about the emotional imput
DyvineSweetness [7:54 PM]: go on
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: i was basically what does emotions have to do with whether you like girls/guys/or both
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: i'm not sayin theres nothing mental about it
Sword Priest [7:55 PM]: but this is basically a black and white concept
DyvineSweetness [7:55 PM]: because one can be physically attrated to both sexes but only emotionally atrracted to one
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: so....
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: if you look at a girl and you get horny... to me your bi-sexual
DyvineSweetness [7:56 PM]: so... there's the difference
Sword Priest [7:56 PM]: whether or not you'd sleep with her or not
Sword Priest [7:57 PM]: emotions have to do with individual relationships
DyvineSweetness [7:57 PM]: i see bisexuality as being equally able to mate and have a relationship with both sexes
Sword Priest [7:57 PM]: you cant be emotionally attached to someone you havent met or have no relationship with
Sword Priest [7:58 PM]: no bisexuality is you having lust for both sexes... whether or not you have a relationship has nothing to do with sexuality
Sword Priest [7:58 PM]: if a girl has nothin but one-night stands with a guy is she not heterosexual?
DyvineSweetness [7:58 PM]: no i think that's what people have come to believe or interpret as bisexuality
DyvineSweetness [7:59 PM]: of course but that girl has the ability to have emotional relatioships with guys. she just chooses not to
Sword Priest [7:59 PM]: if you are physically attracted to both guys and girls you should have the ability to be emotionally attached to both
Sword Priest [7:59 PM]: but thats irrelevant...
DyvineSweetness [8:00 PM]: maybe you should, but that doesn't mean you can
Sword Priest [8:00 PM]: sexual orientation is purely a physical concept..
Sword Priest [8:00 PM]: because physical is the common demoninator
DyvineSweetness [8:01 PM]: if it's purely physical then how come gay people can never have sex with the same sex yet know they're gay?
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: if not A (you are not physically attracted to a sex).. than B(you wont have sex with that sex)
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: because they get hard-ons lookin at guys
Sword Priest [8:01 PM]: if I go my whole life not having sex with a woman that doesnt mean i'm not straight
DyvineSweetness [8:01 PM]: orientation is not solely about getting hard ons and getting wet
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: it's more than just wanting to have sex
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: that is the bottom line
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: your speaking of something other than sexual orientation
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: that's the most basic smallest aspect of orientation
DyvineSweetness [8:02 PM]: what am i speaking of Kevin?
Sword Priest [8:02 PM]: its the only aspect
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: i dont know but its not sexual orientation
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: relationship orientation maybe
DyvineSweetness [8:03 PM]: relationship orientation? lol
DyvineSweetness [8:03 PM]: what is that but sexual orientation?
Sword Priest [8:03 PM]: sounds funny... i know but so does "i'm a degree"...
Sword Priest [8:04 PM]: its not the same
DyvineSweetness [8:04 PM]: what? the kinsey scale?
DyvineSweetness [8:04 PM]: may sound funny to you, but it makes perfect sense to me
Sword Priest [8:04 PM]: this is jsut something for people who dont want to be stigmatized and have an easy outlet
Sword Priest [8:05 PM]: i mean whats wrong with admitted you get turned on by both sexes
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: no, if people don't want to be labeled or stigmatized they can just choose not to label themselves atall
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: and not use the kinset scale either
DyvineSweetness [8:05 PM]: kinsey*
Sword Priest [8:05 PM]: ok you can choose not to label yourself... thats fine
DyvineSweetness [8:06 PM]: there's nothing wrong with admitting it
Sword Priest [8:06 PM]: but if you open up and say "I would have sex with both a guy and a girl"... your bisexual
DyvineSweetness [8:07 PM]: i just don't see it that way. if you can't have a relationship with both, then you're not bi
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: even if its not equal attraction levels
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: relationships have nothing to do with sex... thats a whole nother level
Sword Priest [8:07 PM]: your trying to incorporating apples and oranges
DyvineSweetness [8:08 PM]: gay people front and date the opposite all the time
DyvineSweetness [8:08 PM]: but they're still gay
Sword Priest [8:08 PM]: because they dont want to be stigmatized by society
**Parts cut out to not confuse others as I confused myself lol**
Sword Priest [8:09 PM]: ...oh so now relationships have everything to do with sex...
Sword Priest [8:10 PM]: lol i'm about to get on a whole other subject.. but back to the question at hand
DyvineSweetness [8:10 PM]: i'm mixing up my concepts. i meant to say orientation has nothing to do with sex
DyvineSweetness [8:10 PM]: the act itself, that is
DyvineSweetness [8:11 PM]: you can go to the other subject, if you like
Sword Priest [8:11 PM]: the art of emotions is on an individual basis... sexual orientation isnt
Sword Priest [8:11 PM]: no... i've had the debate more than enough
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: but that's the idea I'm trying to introduce or rather trying to explain., that orientation can be an individual thing
Sword Priest [8:12 PM]: sexual orientation has nothing to do with the act of sex itself but whether you are attracted to the other physically
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: well what were you thinking? just for curiosity's sake
DyvineSweetness [8:12 PM]: exactly!
DyvineSweetness [8:13 PM]: AND whether you can mate and have a relationship with that sex
Sword Priest [8:13 PM]: i'm was goin to get into "Can there be a relationship (bf/gf) without sex" shit
Sword Priest [8:13 PM]: but eb that is the act of sex
DyvineSweetness [8:13 PM]: ooohhh lol that. well i actually kinda agree and disagree with you on that one, but as you said. been there, done that
DyvineSweetness [8:14 PM]: what is the act of sex?
Sword Priest [8:14 PM]: your basically sayin sexual orientation is based upon individual relationships...
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: i'm sayin sexual orientations is based on your view of society
DyvineSweetness [8:15 PM]: go on
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: that married man analogy
Sword Priest [8:15 PM]: he only sleeps iwth his wife to please her but he wants dick..
Sword Priest [8:16 PM]: now... according to your standards what is he?
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: no he gets arousal of out sex with her but would prefer a man much more
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: i can't give him a bi/gay/straight label
DyvineSweetness [8:16 PM]: i can't see him as any
Sword Priest [8:17 PM]: are you being honest...
DyvineSweetness [8:17 PM]: of course! I have no reason to lie. If you forced me to label him, I'd say he was straight with bi tendencies
DyvineSweetness [8:17 PM]: but that seems odd
Sword Priest [8:18 PM]: but the fact he isnt having sex with a guy doesnt mean he isnt bi
DyvineSweetness [8:19 PM]: that's not what makes me not call him bi. what makes me not call him bi is the fact that he said he could never fall in love with a man
Sword Priest [8:19 PM]: I dont wish anything bad on you but it'd be interesting for your future husband to up and tell you one day "I wanna dick in me"... and to see your reaction
DyvineSweetness [8:19 PM]: he can never feel for a man the way he feels for a woman
Sword Priest [8:19 PM]: relationship orietation
DyvineSweetness [8:20 PM]: I'd be confused. try to be understanding. Actually I don't even know. I've never experienced anything like that ---
DyvineSweetness [8:21 PM]: you're creating concepts Kev
Sword Priest [8:21 PM]: relationship orientation= can only have a relationship with one sex
DyvineSweetness [8:22 PM]: lol you can give it any definition you want since you created the doggone thing
Sword Priest [8:22 PM]: everything has a beginning
DyvineSweetness [8:23 PM]: very true.
DyvineSweetness [8:24 PM]: i still equate that with sexual orientation though
Sword Priest [8:25 PM]: well I cant possibly see how you do but.. if thats what you wanna believe.. do ya thing
DyvineSweetness [8:25 PM]: blah same to you
Sword Priest [8:26 PM]: not a lot of things surprise me when i talk to people but if someone tells me that they like guys and girls and they not bi.. but spit with some degrees... i'm lookin at them funny
DyvineSweetness [8:27 PM]: yeah yeah yeah
I hate his stubborn behind. lol But seriously, I respect his input. I just wish he respected mine the same way.