(no subject)
People are odd. For real. Like this lady I take the train home with in my Stats class. Really nice person. Like so nice you almost hurt for her because you have the distinct feeling that someone may take advantage of her. But I was just thinking of one day when we were walking down the hill to the train and I told her I was on a diet. lol So Claudette says in her little British accent "Whyyyyy? You're not that big." lol But the funny part is she was being sincere. I couldn't even get mad at her 'cause she just said what she felt. So she was like "no, you know what I mean, seriously, there's nothing wrong with you." But as I was thinking about this just now I started thinking of part of the convo I had with Huxtable (Linda) last night. We were talking about my weight and she said something along the lines of but clearly people love you regardless. And I was thinking about how odd it is that things can't work backwards. Like society has this control over us. It's almost like a mind game they purposely play with us. So we've all been forcfed to have the same basic idea of what attractive is, right? So how come when people try to combat that and tell us that we're ok as we are it still doesn't sink in... Ok I'm being ridiculously foolish. I know it's not that simple. I know for a fact it takes years to establish these ideas in our heads so naturally they can't be changed over night. I just wish they could.
But seriosuly it's not like I want to be a size 2 or something. And I think that's where the disagreement comes in. I tell people I want to lose weight and they assume I want to be rail thin. Trust me, I'd be unhappy if I were a pole too. Not AS unhappy as I am now, but I'd be trying to gain back some weight. But yeah people seem to think I want to be Kate Moss or something when I say I'm on a diet. I just want to go back to what I was like a year or two ago. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again. I told Eunique I was on a diet (mind you he hasn't seen me in a minute either) and he was like "*sigh* Who told you you were fat?" I'm like so my deciding to lose weight has to have been someone else's idea? Just give me a bit more credit, please. But then again the last few times I saw Stormy he complimented me like he thought I'd never looked better (which gave me a good and bad feeling). Basically it all comes down to the individual and what makes them happy. And I won't be happy 'til I can fit that low cut, wrap blouse that ties on the side again. My "bad girl" shirt. lol Excuse the corniness.
But seriosuly it's not like I want to be a size 2 or something. And I think that's where the disagreement comes in. I tell people I want to lose weight and they assume I want to be rail thin. Trust me, I'd be unhappy if I were a pole too. Not AS unhappy as I am now, but I'd be trying to gain back some weight. But yeah people seem to think I want to be Kate Moss or something when I say I'm on a diet. I just want to go back to what I was like a year or two ago. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again. I told Eunique I was on a diet (mind you he hasn't seen me in a minute either) and he was like "*sigh* Who told you you were fat?" I'm like so my deciding to lose weight has to have been someone else's idea? Just give me a bit more credit, please. But then again the last few times I saw Stormy he complimented me like he thought I'd never looked better (which gave me a good and bad feeling). Basically it all comes down to the individual and what makes them happy. And I won't be happy 'til I can fit that low cut, wrap blouse that ties on the side again. My "bad girl" shirt. lol Excuse the corniness.