[Fic] Blue and Gold Banter
Title: Blue and Gold Banter
Fandom: DC Comicverse
Characters: Blue Beetle II, Booster Gold, Batman
Rating: PG
Summary: Beetle bitches, Booster whines, and Batman is disturbed.
"So... how's that plan for gettin' us out of here going?"
"Better if you'd shut up and let me think for more than five minutes at a time."
"But Beetle, I'm going out of my mind here with boredom!"
"And?"
"I'll shut up."
"Good."
~
"... Beetle?"
"What."
"You're flexible right? So can't you... you know... reach around and get these ropes?"
"Why do I even bother trying? Booster, only Dibny would be flexible enough to untie these knots."
"Oh. Bu-"
"Booster, shut up!"
"Geez, no need to get titchy."
"ARGH."
~
"Be-"
"No."
"Wha-"
"I don't want to hear it, Booster."
"But the suit- I'm chafing."
"And?"
"Down there."
"... that was more information than I needed to know."
"Beeeeeeeeetle."
"Maybe you should have thought about the consequences of using cloth of gold for most of your suit!"
"It's not usually this bad! And ... well, it was shiny."
"I can see tha-... Booster."
"Yeah?"
"Wiggle over a little?"
"Oh, you wanna play?"
"Do the world a favour, Booster and never leer like that again. You don't have the eyebrows for it, so it makes you look deranged. And no, the wiggling's for The Escape Plan. Just ... shove over to the left a bit."
"You know you want me for my body."
"Shut up and move. A little more. A little mo- wait, too far. To the riiiight. Perfect!"
"So what was that supposed to do?"
"Wait and see. And Don't. Move."
~
Batman eyed the two men before him. If it wasn't Batman, Booster would have said that the man had a stupefied look on his face. Since it was Batman though, he decided that the Dark Knight merely looked ... distracted.
"Repeat that?"
Blue Beetle blinked, then repeated slowly, "After we broke out of the cell we-"
Batman interrupted before he could continue.
"No, before that."
Blue Beetle rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed manner.
"Ah, I burned the ropes off by focussing the light that was bouncing off Booster's ass?"
Batman looked concerned now.
"... yes, that was it."
There was silence. Then Booster chirped, "I told him that the shine would come in handy! All those times he complained about me being blinding and distracting and stuff, and now he can see that it was worth it!"
The blonde looked positively smug until Beetle whacked him upside the head, saying, "Ah, that's all there is to report, and I'm sure you've got better things to do, so we'll just be going now, okay? Great." He grabbed Booster's ear in a firm grip and started dragging the slightly taller man out the door.
Batman watched them leave. He could hear the cries of "Ow, BEETLE!" and "Shut UP, Booster!" echoing through the halls.
After staring at the door for a good five minutes after it had closed, he shook his head and swept out of the room, muttering to himself.
"Perhaps I should make some alterations to the costume..."
Fandom: DC Comicverse
Characters: Blue Beetle II, Booster Gold, Batman
Rating: PG
Summary: Beetle bitches, Booster whines, and Batman is disturbed.
"So... how's that plan for gettin' us out of here going?"
"Better if you'd shut up and let me think for more than five minutes at a time."
"But Beetle, I'm going out of my mind here with boredom!"
"And?"
"I'll shut up."
"Good."
~
"... Beetle?"
"What."
"You're flexible right? So can't you... you know... reach around and get these ropes?"
"Why do I even bother trying? Booster, only Dibny would be flexible enough to untie these knots."
"Oh. Bu-"
"Booster, shut up!"
"Geez, no need to get titchy."
"ARGH."
~
"Be-"
"No."
"Wha-"
"I don't want to hear it, Booster."
"But the suit- I'm chafing."
"And?"
"Down there."
"... that was more information than I needed to know."
"Beeeeeeeeetle."
"Maybe you should have thought about the consequences of using cloth of gold for most of your suit!"
"It's not usually this bad! And ... well, it was shiny."
"I can see tha-... Booster."
"Yeah?"
"Wiggle over a little?"
"Oh, you wanna play?"
"Do the world a favour, Booster and never leer like that again. You don't have the eyebrows for it, so it makes you look deranged. And no, the wiggling's for The Escape Plan. Just ... shove over to the left a bit."
"You know you want me for my body."
"Shut up and move. A little more. A little mo- wait, too far. To the riiiight. Perfect!"
"So what was that supposed to do?"
"Wait and see. And Don't. Move."
~
Batman eyed the two men before him. If it wasn't Batman, Booster would have said that the man had a stupefied look on his face. Since it was Batman though, he decided that the Dark Knight merely looked ... distracted.
"Repeat that?"
Blue Beetle blinked, then repeated slowly, "After we broke out of the cell we-"
Batman interrupted before he could continue.
"No, before that."
Blue Beetle rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed manner.
"Ah, I burned the ropes off by focussing the light that was bouncing off Booster's ass?"
Batman looked concerned now.
"... yes, that was it."
There was silence. Then Booster chirped, "I told him that the shine would come in handy! All those times he complained about me being blinding and distracting and stuff, and now he can see that it was worth it!"
The blonde looked positively smug until Beetle whacked him upside the head, saying, "Ah, that's all there is to report, and I'm sure you've got better things to do, so we'll just be going now, okay? Great." He grabbed Booster's ear in a firm grip and started dragging the slightly taller man out the door.
Batman watched them leave. He could hear the cries of "Ow, BEETLE!" and "Shut UP, Booster!" echoing through the halls.
After staring at the door for a good five minutes after it had closed, he shook his head and swept out of the room, muttering to himself.
"Perhaps I should make some alterations to the costume..."