(no subject)
Blech. I was so tired before Jason left, and now I can't get to sleep.
Oh well.
This is cracking me the fuck up.
From my ex-girlfriend: "Fuck. FUCK YOU ALASKA!"
When I was about 11, my little brother (8 at the time) sleepwalked into my bedroom in the middle of the night. He started banging on my dresser with his hand and saying "MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIGHT HERE! MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIIIIGHT HEEERE!!".
He then turned around and walked slightly out of the room. The next thing out of his mouth was:
"FUCKING MIDGETS!"
Then he got in the shower fully pajama'ed, turned it on, showered briefly, got out, and went back to bed. All without waking.
My old roommate used to talk in his sleep constantly.
Some of my favorites:
"That's a big trout!"
"No ice cream, no remote control!"
"We gotta get on that" (almost every time a train went by)
"Coffee doesn't make you shut up!"
And perhaps the most disturbing of all:
"Phil Collins!"
The fact the he said the last one in a sort of playful scolding tone was pretty damned creepy.
My brother is like a fountain of these things. My personal favorite nugget is this:
"Sleepy Mexican community, stop feeding me marshmallows!"
Back story: My name is Sam.
I sit upright in bed and yell:"AND NOW HERE'S SAM!!!"
Roommate wakes up, thinks I'm talking to him.
Roommate :"What the fuck are you yelling about?"
Me: "I just thought I should introduce myself."
And the other day when I had to leave the room because she was talking so much in her sleep.
Her: Turn the lights on.
Me: Why?
Her: The Mexican hands!
A mate also said this in his sleep to his lady friend.
"Just because I've got a shitty finger, doesn't make me a bad man."
Apparently, my dad tried to wake me up at 5 in the morning for school one day. I uttered this:
"It speaks about the cat negatively."
And then I just smashed the fuck out of a lamp with my hand and went back to sleep.
And, just for the fun of it, two particularly lovely gems from yours truly:
"Hmm... This lemon tastes like vinegar."
"No, no... It can't be a unicorn!"
And a few moments later, "Yes, yes! It is a unicorn!"
I'm just waiting for the day I start quoting movies or video games in my sleep. Let's all hope Jason has a tape recorder ready, hm?
Oh well.
This is cracking me the fuck up.
From my ex-girlfriend: "Fuck. FUCK YOU ALASKA!"
When I was about 11, my little brother (8 at the time) sleepwalked into my bedroom in the middle of the night. He started banging on my dresser with his hand and saying "MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIGHT HERE! MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIIIIGHT HEEERE!!".
He then turned around and walked slightly out of the room. The next thing out of his mouth was:
"FUCKING MIDGETS!"
Then he got in the shower fully pajama'ed, turned it on, showered briefly, got out, and went back to bed. All without waking.
My old roommate used to talk in his sleep constantly.
Some of my favorites:
"That's a big trout!"
"No ice cream, no remote control!"
"We gotta get on that" (almost every time a train went by)
"Coffee doesn't make you shut up!"
And perhaps the most disturbing of all:
"Phil Collins!"
The fact the he said the last one in a sort of playful scolding tone was pretty damned creepy.
My brother is like a fountain of these things. My personal favorite nugget is this:
"Sleepy Mexican community, stop feeding me marshmallows!"
Back story: My name is Sam.
I sit upright in bed and yell:"AND NOW HERE'S SAM!!!"
Roommate wakes up, thinks I'm talking to him.
Roommate :"What the fuck are you yelling about?"
Me: "I just thought I should introduce myself."
And the other day when I had to leave the room because she was talking so much in her sleep.
Her: Turn the lights on.
Me: Why?
Her: The Mexican hands!
A mate also said this in his sleep to his lady friend.
"Just because I've got a shitty finger, doesn't make me a bad man."
Apparently, my dad tried to wake me up at 5 in the morning for school one day. I uttered this:
"It speaks about the cat negatively."
And then I just smashed the fuck out of a lamp with my hand and went back to sleep.
And, just for the fun of it, two particularly lovely gems from yours truly:
"Hmm... This lemon tastes like vinegar."
"No, no... It can't be a unicorn!"
And a few moments later, "Yes, yes! It is a unicorn!"
I'm just waiting for the day I start quoting movies or video games in my sleep. Let's all hope Jason has a tape recorder ready, hm?