Frozen snow tapping, tapping at my icy window.
I was up early today trying to mentally prepare for paper writing. Took a dubious look through my fridge and decided to head to the supermarket before I begin working in case things got bad here; like all storm watchers, I bought some milk, but also some apples, some sandwich supplies, and those little mini cans of coke in case I needed a caffeine boost. Picked up a coffee and headed home, making sure to park in the lot behind my apartment because it's much easier to free your car from snowbanks back there than it is on the street.
I walked into my apartment, put my groceries away, and promptly heard the little ice chunks beginning to noisily land against my windows. Home, just in the nick of time!
Did some holiday shopping last night, and it made me feel a bit better about the whole unpreparedness for the holidays thing. My sister is coming up with her family in a week, and we will celebrate together through that Sunday morning; then it's Christmas Eve with my grandmother, who will be home from the hospital rehab by then (yay) and Christmas Day at my parents' house. Somewhere between handing in my last papers for the semester and attending my film screening (that sounds more glamorous than it is), I'll decorate my apartment and try to capture that cozy warm holiday feeling.
I love that feeling, but it hasn't landed in my heart yet. It's been trying to creep in ever so slightly, when I watched "Charlie Brown Christmas" at Bill's with the band, when I saw "Home Alone" on TV, when I purchased some modest but fun gifts for a few friends that have been very helpful to me this past year. The holidays are a lot less fun when you're not really working a lot, but I've been at least able to think of everyone in some small way or other.
By the way, if anyone has nieces or nephews or kids and lives in NJ, there are a lot of KB Toy Stores going out of business and everything is at least 30% off. I got my niece two Breyer horses practically for the price of one if I had bought them at the local toy shop by my place.
Lex and I were discussing New Year's Eve last night, figuring out that we're pretty much too old to really make a big deal about Going Out on that night. The clubs and bars are just too pricey to be hanging out in so much noise, such great crowds, drinking such expensive drinks. Home parties are where it's at, or even just staying home. (I hate to tell you Lex but this is pretty much how I've felt about NYE ever since the middle of college :) She proposed making an early dinner for a very small group of us so that we could convene and be together before we head off to where we'll all plan to end up for the night. I have good friends.
As for me, I'm so completely awful at figuring out how to love anyone, and that's probably because I've never quite learned how to simply love myself.
I walked into my apartment, put my groceries away, and promptly heard the little ice chunks beginning to noisily land against my windows. Home, just in the nick of time!
Did some holiday shopping last night, and it made me feel a bit better about the whole unpreparedness for the holidays thing. My sister is coming up with her family in a week, and we will celebrate together through that Sunday morning; then it's Christmas Eve with my grandmother, who will be home from the hospital rehab by then (yay) and Christmas Day at my parents' house. Somewhere between handing in my last papers for the semester and attending my film screening (that sounds more glamorous than it is), I'll decorate my apartment and try to capture that cozy warm holiday feeling.
I love that feeling, but it hasn't landed in my heart yet. It's been trying to creep in ever so slightly, when I watched "Charlie Brown Christmas" at Bill's with the band, when I saw "Home Alone" on TV, when I purchased some modest but fun gifts for a few friends that have been very helpful to me this past year. The holidays are a lot less fun when you're not really working a lot, but I've been at least able to think of everyone in some small way or other.
By the way, if anyone has nieces or nephews or kids and lives in NJ, there are a lot of KB Toy Stores going out of business and everything is at least 30% off. I got my niece two Breyer horses practically for the price of one if I had bought them at the local toy shop by my place.
Lex and I were discussing New Year's Eve last night, figuring out that we're pretty much too old to really make a big deal about Going Out on that night. The clubs and bars are just too pricey to be hanging out in so much noise, such great crowds, drinking such expensive drinks. Home parties are where it's at, or even just staying home. (I hate to tell you Lex but this is pretty much how I've felt about NYE ever since the middle of college :) She proposed making an early dinner for a very small group of us so that we could convene and be together before we head off to where we'll all plan to end up for the night. I have good friends.
As for me, I'm so completely awful at figuring out how to love anyone, and that's probably because I've never quite learned how to simply love myself.