courtship
i have a lot of things to write, but a few environments of thought have superceded them all today. i developed the perfect metaphor for my relationship with painting and drawing. it must be written down before it leaves me. before it evaporates.
drawing is my best friend, my childhood friend. i have always drawn. it is an extension of my arm, my wrist, my self. i am totally comfortable with drawing. i can tell him anything. it always comes out right. i've spent my whole life with drawing, told him my secrets, shared with him my dreams.
painting... painting is a woman i have been courting since adolescence. sometimes i feel that she is too good for me, that she is out of my league. drawing and i have grown up together, but i never really got to know painting until i was a teenager. i was infatuated, obsessed. she was voluptuous and seductive. sexier, and more powerful than drawing was. didn't know how to talk to her, so i spoke to her like i did with drawing. in a linear fashion, in easy streams. but she was offended.
i came on too strong, without knowing anything about her. i'd seen her around, i'd known older boys who had flings with her, but i felt brash and inexperienced with her. we had many unsuccessful dates in those years. drawing and i would be up all night talking about her. she rejected me again. i was too cautious and she lost interest.
we stopped seeing each other for a number of years, but i never forgot about her. i saw her in books, and cavorting with other people, but we never spoke. until one day, drawing talked me into calling on her again. i was shy and self-aware. painting had been on a pedistal for so long, it was really hard to be normal around her. we had a few really good dates. when i was able to let go and be myself, it was amazing. but i would become frustrated with my fickle mistress.
but i am learning to be more comfortable around her. i started to look more closely at what made her special, and so different from drawing. i stopped treating her like a sexy drawing and more like her own person. i looked at her subtleties and what types of light and dress she looked best in. i spent more money on her. you can't be cheap with painting.
we've got plans for the summer. and i'm feeling pretty good about us right now. i'm more respectful of her limitations as well as her strengths. she feels more like a partner than an unattainable goddess. and she understands when i need to spend a little time with drawing on the weekends.
drawing is my best friend, my childhood friend. i have always drawn. it is an extension of my arm, my wrist, my self. i am totally comfortable with drawing. i can tell him anything. it always comes out right. i've spent my whole life with drawing, told him my secrets, shared with him my dreams.
painting... painting is a woman i have been courting since adolescence. sometimes i feel that she is too good for me, that she is out of my league. drawing and i have grown up together, but i never really got to know painting until i was a teenager. i was infatuated, obsessed. she was voluptuous and seductive. sexier, and more powerful than drawing was. didn't know how to talk to her, so i spoke to her like i did with drawing. in a linear fashion, in easy streams. but she was offended.
i came on too strong, without knowing anything about her. i'd seen her around, i'd known older boys who had flings with her, but i felt brash and inexperienced with her. we had many unsuccessful dates in those years. drawing and i would be up all night talking about her. she rejected me again. i was too cautious and she lost interest.
we stopped seeing each other for a number of years, but i never forgot about her. i saw her in books, and cavorting with other people, but we never spoke. until one day, drawing talked me into calling on her again. i was shy and self-aware. painting had been on a pedistal for so long, it was really hard to be normal around her. we had a few really good dates. when i was able to let go and be myself, it was amazing. but i would become frustrated with my fickle mistress.
but i am learning to be more comfortable around her. i started to look more closely at what made her special, and so different from drawing. i stopped treating her like a sexy drawing and more like her own person. i looked at her subtleties and what types of light and dress she looked best in. i spent more money on her. you can't be cheap with painting.
we've got plans for the summer. and i'm feeling pretty good about us right now. i'm more respectful of her limitations as well as her strengths. she feels more like a partner than an unattainable goddess. and she understands when i need to spend a little time with drawing on the weekends.