i remember this...
Its late/early. i cant sleep. there are hundreds of thousands of thoughts racing through my head and my heart is pounding with fear. i fear the end of a life that i have loved for nearly two years. WHAT CAN I DO!?!!? it hurts me so bad to see her suffer! i want to make it right, to make her ok, to turn it back into what it used to be. i didnt kiss her today... my lips are dry and lifeless. she lightly touched my calf as she walked away from my bed where i sat, but that was all the contact we had. i could sense her pain. I CAN FEEL IT NOW!! and i know there is nothing i can do...that isnt ending the only life i enjoy living. please god do not let it come to that!!!
...and yet i want her to be happy. if i can only bring sadness to her life then i am not the one to love. i am shit and everyone knows that...i know that. i wont find another like her. she makes me happy...and next to my mother she is the only person who can do that. i feel butterflies even to this day whenever she hugs me, i feel my lips fill with a feeling of comfort whenever i kiss her lips, and my hands still grasp hers tightly as if i were never going to them go. She is always on my mind no matter where i am or what i am doing. images of her in all her elegance dance behind my closed eyes before i go to sleep every night.
I wouldnt be able to stand losing her. I would crumble inside and out, and yet i crumble now!!! for she is SAD! she is dying from within and there is nothing i can DO!!!!! My past haunts me...and it tortures her. Id rather be haunted for the rest of my days than mentally destroy such a beautiful Hummingbird for a second.
I love her with all my heart, mind, body, and soul.
Forever and ever. 5/13/05
I Love You Katherine Anne Moore
...and yet i want her to be happy. if i can only bring sadness to her life then i am not the one to love. i am shit and everyone knows that...i know that. i wont find another like her. she makes me happy...and next to my mother she is the only person who can do that. i feel butterflies even to this day whenever she hugs me, i feel my lips fill with a feeling of comfort whenever i kiss her lips, and my hands still grasp hers tightly as if i were never going to them go. She is always on my mind no matter where i am or what i am doing. images of her in all her elegance dance behind my closed eyes before i go to sleep every night.
I wouldnt be able to stand losing her. I would crumble inside and out, and yet i crumble now!!! for she is SAD! she is dying from within and there is nothing i can DO!!!!! My past haunts me...and it tortures her. Id rather be haunted for the rest of my days than mentally destroy such a beautiful Hummingbird for a second.
I love her with all my heart, mind, body, and soul.
Forever and ever. 5/13/05
I Love You Katherine Anne Moore