aw
yeah it was :P -Cough.- So don't feel stupid.
anyway, Lauren wasnt in here today! that makes me sad because she's my internet surfing buddy. LOL shes so christian though, its funny. she gets upset that you say 'damn', but shes still funny. she left her bag in here today, this morning and I gave it to Mrs. whatever her name is. lol
Kyle and I talked about the whole war thing. Talking to him makes me feel a bit better because he's in the airforce (sort of..) and he knows more about this shit than I do. But he said that Iraq has nothing but nuclear tipped missiles, which is just enough to blow up military bases. (Hey, its better than being big enough to blow up 3 or 4 states). Yeah you can tell I am very nervous about this war thing. What really gets to me is the whole biological weapons Iraq has. Ricin, Anthrax, Smallpox, lots more.. it makes me sort of giddy (in a bad way..lol)
chrissy has yet to reply to me about my password and its sort of pissing me off because id really like to get into sako right now. seriously, i asked her nicely for the password and she has yet to give it back. ill neomail her once more requesting it because neo has really slacked in giving replies lately.
I've been bored and sleepy all day. My mom is going to have a teacher/parent meeting with my teachers tomorrow, hopefully she forgets. I don't feel like being grounded, once i get the grade card, i can say byebye to the internet. ._. heh. and dont say 'oh you have to try harder' because well, my chance is already up. the semester ends in 3 weeks and im failing real bad. lol. so i have to sort of 'cherish' the time that I have now. I can already tell that some people will be on my back today when i get home, so im waiting for it. i need a big fat aderol, thats what i need. so i can fuckin chill and sit back and watch tv, stuff my face and read some magazines. heh, yeah. thats the way i like it.
i can sort of feel myself being torn away from what was once bliss. being online from 4 to 10 was what i looked foward to everyday and now its being taken away from me because my mom doesnt like the letters on a sheet of paper. who are teachers to evaluate the way we learn in school? it's like they're calling us stupid. maybe we dont want to write down bullshit on paper and have them grade it. it's called dignity, something im sure all of us would like to keep. whatever happened to teaching ourselves things from experience? they're still holding our hand if they teach us, they might as well give us the answers. who are they to tell us what to do when they're points of authority for only a matter of not even a quarter of the day? these total strangers try to teach us lessons and punish us if we dont get it or refuse to take notes on something we see as totally useless.
our parents are sometimes even worse. they try and point out our wellbeing when we know what is good for us - we're our own person. cleaning our room is made into a chore when its our section of the house whether they pay bills or not. if they have such a problem with our ownership in one simple room in which they never set foot in in the first place, what was the point in having a child when half of the time they're tickled to death for the minute you turn 18, you're out on your own and when you close the door behind you, they take a big breath of relief. "Never again" they say.
Pictures hold the past, something you will never experience ever again. It holds that piece of time that makes your mind try and imagine what the emotions were at that moment, but never again will you experience it, only reminisce and never have that feeling again, but hold time on a sheet of glossy paper. That moment was yours and nobody elses, the light you flash catches that moment, that second and holds it. and i cant get over it, you documented what will never take place again, not that very same exact thing. everything will be different. you cant help but think about it, you cant help but miss what happened when you look at the picture. How can one flash of light put a frame of time on a piece of paper, copying from real life to that paper, only to be cherished until the end of time.
this is why i want to be a photographer. because i feel like time is running short and i have to catch as much time as I can and show it to everybody else.
its sort of agonizing to realize that a few seconds ago, you just lived through something you cant get back. you wasted probably a minute or two on this entry and took away time from your life youll never live again.
its depressing, but very incredible.
anyway, Lauren wasnt in here today! that makes me sad because she's my internet surfing buddy. LOL shes so christian though, its funny. she gets upset that you say 'damn', but shes still funny. she left her bag in here today, this morning and I gave it to Mrs. whatever her name is. lol
Kyle and I talked about the whole war thing. Talking to him makes me feel a bit better because he's in the airforce (sort of..) and he knows more about this shit than I do. But he said that Iraq has nothing but nuclear tipped missiles, which is just enough to blow up military bases. (Hey, its better than being big enough to blow up 3 or 4 states). Yeah you can tell I am very nervous about this war thing. What really gets to me is the whole biological weapons Iraq has. Ricin, Anthrax, Smallpox, lots more.. it makes me sort of giddy (in a bad way..lol)
chrissy has yet to reply to me about my password and its sort of pissing me off because id really like to get into sako right now. seriously, i asked her nicely for the password and she has yet to give it back. ill neomail her once more requesting it because neo has really slacked in giving replies lately.
I've been bored and sleepy all day. My mom is going to have a teacher/parent meeting with my teachers tomorrow, hopefully she forgets. I don't feel like being grounded, once i get the grade card, i can say byebye to the internet. ._. heh. and dont say 'oh you have to try harder' because well, my chance is already up. the semester ends in 3 weeks and im failing real bad. lol. so i have to sort of 'cherish' the time that I have now. I can already tell that some people will be on my back today when i get home, so im waiting for it. i need a big fat aderol, thats what i need. so i can fuckin chill and sit back and watch tv, stuff my face and read some magazines. heh, yeah. thats the way i like it.
i can sort of feel myself being torn away from what was once bliss. being online from 4 to 10 was what i looked foward to everyday and now its being taken away from me because my mom doesnt like the letters on a sheet of paper. who are teachers to evaluate the way we learn in school? it's like they're calling us stupid. maybe we dont want to write down bullshit on paper and have them grade it. it's called dignity, something im sure all of us would like to keep. whatever happened to teaching ourselves things from experience? they're still holding our hand if they teach us, they might as well give us the answers. who are they to tell us what to do when they're points of authority for only a matter of not even a quarter of the day? these total strangers try to teach us lessons and punish us if we dont get it or refuse to take notes on something we see as totally useless.
our parents are sometimes even worse. they try and point out our wellbeing when we know what is good for us - we're our own person. cleaning our room is made into a chore when its our section of the house whether they pay bills or not. if they have such a problem with our ownership in one simple room in which they never set foot in in the first place, what was the point in having a child when half of the time they're tickled to death for the minute you turn 18, you're out on your own and when you close the door behind you, they take a big breath of relief. "Never again" they say.
Pictures hold the past, something you will never experience ever again. It holds that piece of time that makes your mind try and imagine what the emotions were at that moment, but never again will you experience it, only reminisce and never have that feeling again, but hold time on a sheet of glossy paper. That moment was yours and nobody elses, the light you flash catches that moment, that second and holds it. and i cant get over it, you documented what will never take place again, not that very same exact thing. everything will be different. you cant help but think about it, you cant help but miss what happened when you look at the picture. How can one flash of light put a frame of time on a piece of paper, copying from real life to that paper, only to be cherished until the end of time.
this is why i want to be a photographer. because i feel like time is running short and i have to catch as much time as I can and show it to everybody else.
its sort of agonizing to realize that a few seconds ago, you just lived through something you cant get back. you wasted probably a minute or two on this entry and took away time from your life youll never live again.
its depressing, but very incredible.