FIC: The Replacements
Title: The Replacements
Author: ???
Pairing: Remus/Regulus, Remus/Sirius
Rating:NC17
Prompt: 116
Content Information/Warnings: Nobody is happy, it's all miserable and depressing but hey, that's apart of it being dysfuncentine. The only actual warning in that case is: Rimming.
Summary: Regulus has taken the Dark Mark, and Remus is in the Order, but that isn't the only reason they shouldn't be doing what they're doing.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my amazing betas who are the absolute best.
"Is that a new scar?"
Remus turns his head as far as it will go and looks down to see the spot on his lower back that Regulus is touching with the tips of his fingers. Remus studies Regulus' hand for a moment. His fingers are long and pale. They oddly remind Remus of piano keys. They are not sweet and gentle though. They are strong and deft. Regulus holds him so tightly he often leaves bruises. Regulus grabs, snatches and pulls at Remus before he can even think about reacting.
His gaze moves to Regulus' hand, which is not big or powerful looking like Sirius'. When you look at Sirius' hands you could easily imagine the pain if he punched you, the strength by which he could keep you in place. Regulus' hands are normal sized but equally fierce and controlling as Sirius'.
Remus looks back to where Regulus is touching and says, with a shrug, "Just a scratch. It's nothing, it will go away." Remus doesn't say what the scratch is from. He's already said enough so that Regulus knows it's not from a transformation and that could only mean it is from something else Remus doesn't want to talk about.
They will never talk about the nicks, scratches, or curses Remus takes when he's on an Order mission. Just like they will never talk about the black skull and the equally black snake twisting through its mouth emblazoned on Regulus' forearm.
Given what they know about each other, and their activities outside the bedroom, they really shouldn't be doing this anymore.
Remus' gaze travels up Regulus' body. The sheets are pooled around his waist so that Remus can't see his legs or what lies between them. He doesn't have to see to know that his legs are long and thin, but not skinny like James' legs. His cock is a cock. Remarkable in the way that Remus can't get enough of it, and Regulus certainly knows what he's doing with it, but other than that Remus makes no comparisons. It would be natural to compare its size, and girth, to his brother's, but Remus will never allow himself to compare Regulus' cock to Sirius'. It would be dangerous to ponder Sirius' cock so, and fucking Regulus is all the danger Remus can stomach at the moment.
Remus studies the dark hairs leading down from his navel and looks at the rest of his torso. Regulus is narrow-waisted and has a very flat stomach; his hip bones stick out just a hint. It's not all together surprising he's thin - you can clearly see the muscles that define his abdomen - he is hardly eighteen and very athletic. Still Remus has seen Regulus eat, and Regulus eats every meal like it's his last. Remus wonders for a split second if that will catch up with him when he's older. Remus has never seen either of Sirius' parents, but the Blacks all tend toward being lean. Sirius is actually the biggest of all of them, but he's far from burly. He's broader, stronger, more muscular than the rest - half of them are girls, though.
His eyes travel naturally up Regulus' lean, hairless chest. Then to his strong, straight shoulders and his long almost spindly arms. Last, he looks at Regulus' face. Regulus is staring out the windows on the opposite wall as if he doesn't know, or rather doesn't care that Remus is looking at him so closely. Regulus seems to blossom under scrutiny. He's confident that who ever looks at him this closely can only be pleased.
Regulus' face is angled perfectly for Remus to take in the mixture of sharp angles and soft lines that make Regulus' profile; so flawless it almost looks like it was carved from a piece of marble. There is no denying he and Sirius are brothers. There is something in their looks that lets you know for certain these two came from the same gene pool. Remus is never sure if it's their features that are similar or the same expression of arrogant confidence they both so easily affect.
Remus knows what is said about Regulus. Knows he's been compared to Sirius almost his entire time at Hogwarts. Besides the obvious differences in their appearance the general feeling is that Regulus isn't as good-looking, not quite as clever, and certainly far less of a trouble maker than Sirius. Regulus has never once, not in the time they've been doing this, said anything to Remus about being compared to Sirius. He handles it with the dignity and grace of someone who was born being compared to his elder brother.
Remus' gaze goes back to the Dark Mark and he thinks, for the first time, that maybe Regulus took that mark to prove something. To his parents or maybe to himself.
The mantle that was placed upon Sirius by simple right of being the first-born son had been tossed away as if it were a used up piece of used chewing gum. Regulus may have taken that mark, that open allegiance, to prove he was the one who should have been chosen all along. It was only a cruel trick of nature that he was born second.
"You should go," Remus says, making himself look Regulus in the eyes. They are grey, like Sirius', but colder, harder to read.
"For good or only for now?" Regulus says, but the words are emotionless as if he doesn't care which Remus decides. Remus knows he should end it all but he doesn't have the strength. He likes Regulus. He likes that they can just fuck and hardly say anything and it's not complicated by guilt or feelings that they may be ruining a spectacular friendship.
That's how Remus feels when he thinks that maybe, once, he could with Sirius. It would all end horribly and maybe be the end of everything Remus holds dear. His friends.
"Sirius will be back soon," Remus says by way of an answer. He's been around Regulus, and Blacks for that matter, for much too long to give a straight answer to difficult questions.
"Right," Regulus says with a single nod. "I've got to get back to school anyway." He reaches for his watch on the bedside table to check the time. It looks nothing like the one Sirius has. When Regulus turned seventeen he was given a large, expensive watch, maybe even one that was supposed to be Sirius'. Sirius' seventeenth birthday was only acknowledged by the three of them and James' parents. Sirius is dead to his family.
Remus doesn't think that holds with Regulus though. Before they left school he saw them talking every now again. Sometimes the words were hot and angry with blows and spells being thrown by both sides. Other times they were perfectly friendly, as if they took joy in being in one another's company.
Sibling relationships were complicated and Remus, being an only child, didn't think he would ever understand.
Regulus puts his watch back on the table and blinks in a slow lazy way at Remus. "It's hardly noon. What time is my brother supposed to be back?"
"Not really sure," Remus admits, and by the look that flashes in Regulus' eyes he knows what will happen next.
Regulus has him pinned to the bed so swiftly that Remus has forgotten to breathe. One of Regulus' knees digs painfully into Remus' inner thigh, pinning it down, and he holds Remus' wrists above his head.
"Sirius," Remus says, reminding Regulus why they shouldn't.
Regulus moves his leg and grinds his hard cock against Remus' stiffening one and says, "Lock the door if you're worried."
"I'm not, it's only -"
"He's the one you really want to be fucking?" Regulus says and his mouth quirks as if it's a joke.
"No," Remus snaps back in reply.
Regulus rolls their hips together again, and the pleasure of friction against his cock is so good Remus lets out a little moan. "Keep telling yourself that, Lupin."
"No. It's you." Remus frees one hand and pulls Regulus down for a hard, bruising kiss. It's Regulus he wants, he tells himself again and again as their cocks slide together and the minutes tick away.
***
They're drunk when it happens. They've been drunk and alone so many times together Remus wonders what makes this time different.
Remus has the tendency to over think more than a proper Gryffindor should, and he knows this about himself, so he forces himself to not dwell on all the other times that could have been, and focuses on the now, when it's happening.
One of Sirius' hands twists in his hair pulling his head back to expose his throat. Sirius is biting and sucking his away across Remus' delicate skin. Sirius' other hand is everywhere. Lifting Remus' shirt, rubbing his nipples, gripping his back, grabbing his arse, and finally on his cock.
Remus can do nothing but hold onto Sirius' back as they stumble to Sirius' room. Remus is lost in the euphoria that Sirius has finally decided they can do this. He's never said anything but Remus knows Sirius, like him, didn't want to ruin their friendship. That and more importantly, what would James think? He wouldn't be best pleased if two of his mates upped and started shagging each other.
Now, after wanting Sirius for as long as he's known he only liked boys, no, longer than that. Since that time they were skinny dipping in their third year, no, before that. Since the moment he laid eyes on Sirius, he wanted him. At eleven he hadn't a clue he wanted to fuck Sirius, but he knew that he always wanted to be around him, every moment.
Finally Sirius takes Remus like he takes everything else. Like he doesn't give a damn about anything else, he wants this, wants Remus, and he's acting on impulse.
Remus is dizzy with lust and need as Sirius kneels on the bed, and he hardly needs to ask Remus to lick his arse. Remus would love to see Sirius be so needy he's begging, but Remus can't act that way with Sirius. Years of want are rushing over him, and he's delirious with it all.
He eats Sirius' arse with every ounce of eagerness he's been storing up. He sucks, kisses, drags his tongue across his flesh. He puts his thumbs in Sirius' arse to open it wider so he can delve his tongue deeper.
After Sirius is moans and comes from Remus' tongue and fingers alone, Remus slicks his cock and brushes the head of it to Sirius' entrance. He wants to fuck him long and slow, but it will be a miracle if Remus can last long enough to get Sirius hard again so that they can come together this time.
As he's about to push into Sirius, Remus wonders for half a heart beat about Regulus. Remus can't make himself care, but he does wonder if Regulus will be upset about this. Remus knows he hasn't fucked anyone else since they started getting off together but is pretty sure Regulus has. Remus doesn't even care. They aren't about that. It's not like Sirius who is Remus' everything, everything, everything.
Remus thrusts forward with a growl and then bites his lip to keep from coming. Sirius' arse is tight, hot, and so good around his cock, but it's also this: Driving into Sirius is dreams, fantasies, wishes, what-ifs, and hopes come true.
***
Too late Remus remembers it's a Hogsmeade weekend. He's alone in their flat this morning; Sirius left before he was even awake. He must have made some excuse before and has now forgotten.
There is a crack of Apparation in the sitting room, and Remus feels completely dumb-founded as he stands there in his boxers, t-shirt, and bare feet. He holds his tea right in front of his mouth, about to take a sip when Regulus appears.
"Had a bit of a lie in?" Regulus asks with a half smile as he undoes his cloak. "Lazy sod."
Remus is a good liar, not a natural one, but long years of concealing so much from the public at large has made lying come as easily to him as breathing. Usually he is prepared to lie, though. About his condition, to avoid trouble at school and now to do work for the Order. Remus is thoroughly unprepared as Regulus strides to his bedroom and stops dead in the doorway.
Remus knows his room is tidy and the bed looks like it hasn't been slept in for days, which it hasn't.
Regulus continues to take off his cloak; he lays it elegantly over his forearm and then turns back to Remus, who is still standing there but has at least put his tea down on a table. Regulus asks, "Been sleeping somewhere else? Another flat or just a different bed?"
They both very well know what the answer is to that, but Remus is not about to answer the question. He doesn't owe Regulus anything. He would never expect Regulus to owe him anything either.
Regulus' expression falls a hint as he asks, "So it was it him you wanted all along? And now I don't matter?"
Remus doesn't know what the answer is. His first instinct is to deny, but truth that he's always wanted Sirius feels too much a part of his being to outright lie about it now.
"It's always Sirius for everyone," Regulus says, and now Remus can talk. Now he can speak, because that's not true.
"No," he says firmly. "You are you and Sirius is Sirius. Whoever thinks one is better than the other is a damn fool." Before he can say or think anything else Remus rushes to Regulus. He holds him and kisses him. It's been him and Regulus for so long that Remus can give him this, because he can't give Regulus the words he's asked to hear. Besides he and Sirius have done nothing but shag, and Remus knows that doesn't necessarily mean anything to Sirius. Sirius could be out, right now, fucking someone else.
Remus is angry and jealous in a flash and he pushes Regulus to the bed. He and Regulus have an understanding, and if Sirius can go out and shag anything with a pulse than Remus can still have Regulus.
They're kissing manically as Remus pulls desperately at Regulus' clothes. He has Regulus' shirt off and his trousers open when Regulus pulls away. They're both panting as they stare at each other, and Remus isn't worried that it's over. He knows this is only a pause.
"Did you like it? Fucking my brother?" Regulus asks, but he doesn't sound angry. He sounds curious as if he's interested in the subject to a great degree.
Remus only stares back at him in reply. He's utterly perplexed by this question. "It was...it was sex. Of course I enjoyed it."
Regulus smiles. A mocking sort of half smile. "Better than normal or the same?"
"It was--"
"You should show me. Show me how my brother kissed, show me how he touched you, show me how he fucked you."
"I fucked him," Remus blurts out before he can stop himself, and he's a little smug but also embarrassed. Regulus lifts his brows the same exact way Sirius does when he's delightedly surprised by something. "The first time, at least," Remus mumbles, his neck growing hot.
"Show me. I want to know if I'm better than my brother."
"It's not the same," Remus says with a flash of anger. "You're not the same bloody person. You can look at that fucking mark on your left arm and know that!"
"That's it? That's the only way we're different? Order versus Death Eaters. Two totally different worlds. You've got me pinned completely."
Now Remus' anger is more than a flash, it washes over him completely. Of course Regulus isn't Sirius. Remus hasn't had Regulus for this long because he thinks he's some version of Sirius. If anyone knows they're different it's him.
He grabs Regulus' arm and wrenches it as he pulls Regulus to him. It's much harder than he usually touches Regulus, but he puts his hands on Regulus to keep from hitting him. Regulus is a stupid fucking boy who went and signed up for Voldemort like he was some damn big shot. Remus is pissed off. That right there is every reason why they shouldn't be together. He wants to kick Regulus out and never see him again, but he won't, right now. First he wants to give Regulus what he wants, because it's all he can give him.
"Like this," Remus says as he pulls Regulus' hair, yanking his head backwards to expose his throat. He bites and licks along Regulus' beautiful pale, long neck just as Sirius did to him the first time. Regulus doesn't hiss or cringe at any of the bites. He moans and if anything pushes harder into Remus' mouth.
Remus reaches where Regulus' collarbone and neck meet and bites down hard, leaving a mark as Sirius had left on him that first night.
"Fuck!" Regulus cries out.
"Is this what you thought?" Remus asks against Regulus' skin. "That he'd be rough like this? He's gentle, too." Remus kisses along Regulus' shoulder with soft open mouth kisses. Remus stops and waits till Regulus looks at him. "He does everything. You know that about him. There isn't anything Sirius doesn't do."
Regulus' eyebrows twitch and he says, "Is that so? All I can tell is he kisses and bites. Any bastard can do that."
Remus grinds his teeth together and starts stripping away Regulus' clothes. He's so angry he can hear faint rips as he pulls his shirt too hard, shoves his trousers down before they're undone all the way. Remus doesn't know why he has to prove what a great fuck Sirius is, but he does.
He pushes Regulus to the bed and throws his t-shirt and pants aside. Regulus is on his back, stroking his cock as his gaze goes down Remus' body and stops on his erection. This is how they're different. Regulus' expression is so neutral he could be anywhere, class, art museum, walking down the street. When Sirius' is studying your naked body, your long, hard prick, he looks ravenous. He rolls his lips into his mouth, then licks them. He's ready to devour you, to be devoured by you.
"On your hands and knees," Remus says. "Sirius likes his arse licked."
"Who doesn't," Regulus says in retort, but he rolls over anyway.
Remus kneels next to him and whispers a touch across Regulus' crevice as he whispers in his ear, "You're right. Everyone likes their arse licked." He presses his thumb to Regulus' entrance and adds, "But Sirius really likes it. He can come from just from my tongue on his arse."
Regulus' eyes flutter close, and he lets out a long slow breath but doesn't say or do anything else.
Remus moves behind Regulus and pushes his thighs further apart with his knee. He grabs Regulus' arse in both hands, spreads him wide open, and presses the flat of his tongue against his hole.
Regulus moans as Remus had expected he would. There isn't anything quite like a mouth on your arse.
He eats Regulus' arse with every bit of enthusiasm he did with Sirius'. Maybe more. It isn't long before Regulus is rocking into his mouth and moaning. Remus breaches him with his tongue and Regulus cries out. "Fuck yes. Like that. Knew he liked it like this."
Remus presses his mouth harder to Regulus' flesh, so hard that he can hardly breath, he can feel his spit running down his chin. Regulus' body is shaking and he falls flat against the bed. Remus is right behind him, pushing his legs apart and not letting up for one moment.
He pushes a finger into Regulus. Regulus begins rolling his hips. Remus lifts his mouth away and adds another finger. Regulus buries his face in the mattress and moans. "Yes, like that," Remus says as he spreads his fingers in Regulus' arse. "Fuck yourself on the bed like that."
Remus' cock aches as he watches Regulus' beautiful round arse thrust over and over to the bed, his fingers disappearing and reappearing with each thrust. Regulus stills, and Remus pushes his fingers in as far as he can, and suddenly Regulus is gasping for breath and calling out, "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes, fuck!"
"Roll over," Remus says not even waiting for Regulus to enjoy the last thrills of his orgasm. "Sirius is this way," he explains. "Doesn't wait. Moves on to the next thing. Roll over."
Regulus does as he's told. His cock is still hard and the hairs on his stomach are sticky with come. Remus has to resist the urge to shove his thighs apart and shove his cock in his arse.
"Tell me to come on you," Remus says as he begins to stroke his cock.
"Get closer," Regulus says. "Want you to come on me."
"Beg me. Beg me like you want it.You need it more than you need to breath."
Remus doesn't need to stroke hard or fast. He's so close that the slightest thing would do him in.
"Is that how he is? A whiny little bitch who begs for come on his face?" Their eyes meet. Regulus' eyes are bright and his face is beautifully pink.
"You wish it was him coming on you," Remus says back in challenge. "You can't have him. You can have me, and I can come all over you same way I come all over him."
"Fuck, yes," Regulus says. He closes his eyes and begins stroking his cock and arching his back. "Come on me. Come on me, Moony. Want your come all over me." Remus strokes faster and he's close, so close. Regulus looks at him again and whispers, "Give it to me. Please." He sounds needy and pathetic and he's pumping his hips into his fist again already and that's it. Remus cries out as he comes hard on Regulus' chest and belly and a bit there on his neck. "Yes!" Regulus yells, and all Remus can manage to do is groan.
Remus sits on his heels, exhausted and shaking. He looks at Regulus whose cock is fully hard again. He takes a steadying breath and then straddles Regulus' hips. He pushes Regulus' cock into his arse and rides him exactly how he rode Sirius this morning because that is what Regulus wants.
***
They're all pissed out of their heads but none so much as Sirius. Granted it's fair, as it was his brother who is gone and probably dead. Remus sits on the sofa brooding as he drinks another beer. He's allowed to be upset. Regulus was something special to him, and he can never tell that to anyone or explain it.
After James leaves to drop Peter, who is good and passed out, off at home, Sirius comes out of his stupor and glares at Remus. Sirius is sitting in his favorite chair. Long limbs dangling over the sides, his legs stretched out in front of him. His head is resting against the back of the chair and his face is bright and his eyes bloodshot from too much drinking. "You can't keep a secret, Moony," Sirius slurs at him. Remus merely looks at Sirius, his words don't deem a reply. "Knew you were fucking him just like I knew you were a werewolf."
Remus shrugs and takes another drink. If Sirius knows then he knows, and there isn't anything Remus can do about that.
Sirius stands from his chair and sways slightly. He shuffles his feet slowly towards his bedroom, supporting himself on the furniture and walls as he goes. He pauses inches from his bedroom door and says, "He's not me. No one is me." He staggers into his room and slams the door behind him.
Remus wants to kick his door in and tell Sirius he is bloody well right. Regulus is not him. He's something different all together. That he's special and unique and not a bastard like Sirius. But he doesn't. He can't pick himself up off the couch to go and tell Sirius that. He'll let Sirius believe what he likes or maybe in the morning, if they remember this, he'll tell Sirius the truth.
But after and later they never talk about Regulus.
And later, much later, when James is dead, and Peter is dead, and Sirius is a horrible, filthy traitor and Remus is so very alone, he knows that nobody was Sirius. No one could ever be Sirius. And no one knew that better than Regulus.
Author: ???
Pairing: Remus/Regulus, Remus/Sirius
Rating:NC17
Prompt: 116
Content Information/Warnings: Nobody is happy, it's all miserable and depressing but hey, that's apart of it being dysfuncentine. The only actual warning in that case is: Rimming.
Summary: Regulus has taken the Dark Mark, and Remus is in the Order, but that isn't the only reason they shouldn't be doing what they're doing.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my amazing betas who are the absolute best.
"Is that a new scar?"
Remus turns his head as far as it will go and looks down to see the spot on his lower back that Regulus is touching with the tips of his fingers. Remus studies Regulus' hand for a moment. His fingers are long and pale. They oddly remind Remus of piano keys. They are not sweet and gentle though. They are strong and deft. Regulus holds him so tightly he often leaves bruises. Regulus grabs, snatches and pulls at Remus before he can even think about reacting.
His gaze moves to Regulus' hand, which is not big or powerful looking like Sirius'. When you look at Sirius' hands you could easily imagine the pain if he punched you, the strength by which he could keep you in place. Regulus' hands are normal sized but equally fierce and controlling as Sirius'.
Remus looks back to where Regulus is touching and says, with a shrug, "Just a scratch. It's nothing, it will go away." Remus doesn't say what the scratch is from. He's already said enough so that Regulus knows it's not from a transformation and that could only mean it is from something else Remus doesn't want to talk about.
They will never talk about the nicks, scratches, or curses Remus takes when he's on an Order mission. Just like they will never talk about the black skull and the equally black snake twisting through its mouth emblazoned on Regulus' forearm.
Given what they know about each other, and their activities outside the bedroom, they really shouldn't be doing this anymore.
Remus' gaze travels up Regulus' body. The sheets are pooled around his waist so that Remus can't see his legs or what lies between them. He doesn't have to see to know that his legs are long and thin, but not skinny like James' legs. His cock is a cock. Remarkable in the way that Remus can't get enough of it, and Regulus certainly knows what he's doing with it, but other than that Remus makes no comparisons. It would be natural to compare its size, and girth, to his brother's, but Remus will never allow himself to compare Regulus' cock to Sirius'. It would be dangerous to ponder Sirius' cock so, and fucking Regulus is all the danger Remus can stomach at the moment.
Remus studies the dark hairs leading down from his navel and looks at the rest of his torso. Regulus is narrow-waisted and has a very flat stomach; his hip bones stick out just a hint. It's not all together surprising he's thin - you can clearly see the muscles that define his abdomen - he is hardly eighteen and very athletic. Still Remus has seen Regulus eat, and Regulus eats every meal like it's his last. Remus wonders for a split second if that will catch up with him when he's older. Remus has never seen either of Sirius' parents, but the Blacks all tend toward being lean. Sirius is actually the biggest of all of them, but he's far from burly. He's broader, stronger, more muscular than the rest - half of them are girls, though.
His eyes travel naturally up Regulus' lean, hairless chest. Then to his strong, straight shoulders and his long almost spindly arms. Last, he looks at Regulus' face. Regulus is staring out the windows on the opposite wall as if he doesn't know, or rather doesn't care that Remus is looking at him so closely. Regulus seems to blossom under scrutiny. He's confident that who ever looks at him this closely can only be pleased.
Regulus' face is angled perfectly for Remus to take in the mixture of sharp angles and soft lines that make Regulus' profile; so flawless it almost looks like it was carved from a piece of marble. There is no denying he and Sirius are brothers. There is something in their looks that lets you know for certain these two came from the same gene pool. Remus is never sure if it's their features that are similar or the same expression of arrogant confidence they both so easily affect.
Remus knows what is said about Regulus. Knows he's been compared to Sirius almost his entire time at Hogwarts. Besides the obvious differences in their appearance the general feeling is that Regulus isn't as good-looking, not quite as clever, and certainly far less of a trouble maker than Sirius. Regulus has never once, not in the time they've been doing this, said anything to Remus about being compared to Sirius. He handles it with the dignity and grace of someone who was born being compared to his elder brother.
Remus' gaze goes back to the Dark Mark and he thinks, for the first time, that maybe Regulus took that mark to prove something. To his parents or maybe to himself.
The mantle that was placed upon Sirius by simple right of being the first-born son had been tossed away as if it were a used up piece of used chewing gum. Regulus may have taken that mark, that open allegiance, to prove he was the one who should have been chosen all along. It was only a cruel trick of nature that he was born second.
"You should go," Remus says, making himself look Regulus in the eyes. They are grey, like Sirius', but colder, harder to read.
"For good or only for now?" Regulus says, but the words are emotionless as if he doesn't care which Remus decides. Remus knows he should end it all but he doesn't have the strength. He likes Regulus. He likes that they can just fuck and hardly say anything and it's not complicated by guilt or feelings that they may be ruining a spectacular friendship.
That's how Remus feels when he thinks that maybe, once, he could with Sirius. It would all end horribly and maybe be the end of everything Remus holds dear. His friends.
"Sirius will be back soon," Remus says by way of an answer. He's been around Regulus, and Blacks for that matter, for much too long to give a straight answer to difficult questions.
"Right," Regulus says with a single nod. "I've got to get back to school anyway." He reaches for his watch on the bedside table to check the time. It looks nothing like the one Sirius has. When Regulus turned seventeen he was given a large, expensive watch, maybe even one that was supposed to be Sirius'. Sirius' seventeenth birthday was only acknowledged by the three of them and James' parents. Sirius is dead to his family.
Remus doesn't think that holds with Regulus though. Before they left school he saw them talking every now again. Sometimes the words were hot and angry with blows and spells being thrown by both sides. Other times they were perfectly friendly, as if they took joy in being in one another's company.
Sibling relationships were complicated and Remus, being an only child, didn't think he would ever understand.
Regulus puts his watch back on the table and blinks in a slow lazy way at Remus. "It's hardly noon. What time is my brother supposed to be back?"
"Not really sure," Remus admits, and by the look that flashes in Regulus' eyes he knows what will happen next.
Regulus has him pinned to the bed so swiftly that Remus has forgotten to breathe. One of Regulus' knees digs painfully into Remus' inner thigh, pinning it down, and he holds Remus' wrists above his head.
"Sirius," Remus says, reminding Regulus why they shouldn't.
Regulus moves his leg and grinds his hard cock against Remus' stiffening one and says, "Lock the door if you're worried."
"I'm not, it's only -"
"He's the one you really want to be fucking?" Regulus says and his mouth quirks as if it's a joke.
"No," Remus snaps back in reply.
Regulus rolls their hips together again, and the pleasure of friction against his cock is so good Remus lets out a little moan. "Keep telling yourself that, Lupin."
"No. It's you." Remus frees one hand and pulls Regulus down for a hard, bruising kiss. It's Regulus he wants, he tells himself again and again as their cocks slide together and the minutes tick away.
***
They're drunk when it happens. They've been drunk and alone so many times together Remus wonders what makes this time different.
Remus has the tendency to over think more than a proper Gryffindor should, and he knows this about himself, so he forces himself to not dwell on all the other times that could have been, and focuses on the now, when it's happening.
One of Sirius' hands twists in his hair pulling his head back to expose his throat. Sirius is biting and sucking his away across Remus' delicate skin. Sirius' other hand is everywhere. Lifting Remus' shirt, rubbing his nipples, gripping his back, grabbing his arse, and finally on his cock.
Remus can do nothing but hold onto Sirius' back as they stumble to Sirius' room. Remus is lost in the euphoria that Sirius has finally decided they can do this. He's never said anything but Remus knows Sirius, like him, didn't want to ruin their friendship. That and more importantly, what would James think? He wouldn't be best pleased if two of his mates upped and started shagging each other.
Now, after wanting Sirius for as long as he's known he only liked boys, no, longer than that. Since that time they were skinny dipping in their third year, no, before that. Since the moment he laid eyes on Sirius, he wanted him. At eleven he hadn't a clue he wanted to fuck Sirius, but he knew that he always wanted to be around him, every moment.
Finally Sirius takes Remus like he takes everything else. Like he doesn't give a damn about anything else, he wants this, wants Remus, and he's acting on impulse.
Remus is dizzy with lust and need as Sirius kneels on the bed, and he hardly needs to ask Remus to lick his arse. Remus would love to see Sirius be so needy he's begging, but Remus can't act that way with Sirius. Years of want are rushing over him, and he's delirious with it all.
He eats Sirius' arse with every ounce of eagerness he's been storing up. He sucks, kisses, drags his tongue across his flesh. He puts his thumbs in Sirius' arse to open it wider so he can delve his tongue deeper.
After Sirius is moans and comes from Remus' tongue and fingers alone, Remus slicks his cock and brushes the head of it to Sirius' entrance. He wants to fuck him long and slow, but it will be a miracle if Remus can last long enough to get Sirius hard again so that they can come together this time.
As he's about to push into Sirius, Remus wonders for half a heart beat about Regulus. Remus can't make himself care, but he does wonder if Regulus will be upset about this. Remus knows he hasn't fucked anyone else since they started getting off together but is pretty sure Regulus has. Remus doesn't even care. They aren't about that. It's not like Sirius who is Remus' everything, everything, everything.
Remus thrusts forward with a growl and then bites his lip to keep from coming. Sirius' arse is tight, hot, and so good around his cock, but it's also this: Driving into Sirius is dreams, fantasies, wishes, what-ifs, and hopes come true.
***
Too late Remus remembers it's a Hogsmeade weekend. He's alone in their flat this morning; Sirius left before he was even awake. He must have made some excuse before and has now forgotten.
There is a crack of Apparation in the sitting room, and Remus feels completely dumb-founded as he stands there in his boxers, t-shirt, and bare feet. He holds his tea right in front of his mouth, about to take a sip when Regulus appears.
"Had a bit of a lie in?" Regulus asks with a half smile as he undoes his cloak. "Lazy sod."
Remus is a good liar, not a natural one, but long years of concealing so much from the public at large has made lying come as easily to him as breathing. Usually he is prepared to lie, though. About his condition, to avoid trouble at school and now to do work for the Order. Remus is thoroughly unprepared as Regulus strides to his bedroom and stops dead in the doorway.
Remus knows his room is tidy and the bed looks like it hasn't been slept in for days, which it hasn't.
Regulus continues to take off his cloak; he lays it elegantly over his forearm and then turns back to Remus, who is still standing there but has at least put his tea down on a table. Regulus asks, "Been sleeping somewhere else? Another flat or just a different bed?"
They both very well know what the answer is to that, but Remus is not about to answer the question. He doesn't owe Regulus anything. He would never expect Regulus to owe him anything either.
Regulus' expression falls a hint as he asks, "So it was it him you wanted all along? And now I don't matter?"
Remus doesn't know what the answer is. His first instinct is to deny, but truth that he's always wanted Sirius feels too much a part of his being to outright lie about it now.
"It's always Sirius for everyone," Regulus says, and now Remus can talk. Now he can speak, because that's not true.
"No," he says firmly. "You are you and Sirius is Sirius. Whoever thinks one is better than the other is a damn fool." Before he can say or think anything else Remus rushes to Regulus. He holds him and kisses him. It's been him and Regulus for so long that Remus can give him this, because he can't give Regulus the words he's asked to hear. Besides he and Sirius have done nothing but shag, and Remus knows that doesn't necessarily mean anything to Sirius. Sirius could be out, right now, fucking someone else.
Remus is angry and jealous in a flash and he pushes Regulus to the bed. He and Regulus have an understanding, and if Sirius can go out and shag anything with a pulse than Remus can still have Regulus.
They're kissing manically as Remus pulls desperately at Regulus' clothes. He has Regulus' shirt off and his trousers open when Regulus pulls away. They're both panting as they stare at each other, and Remus isn't worried that it's over. He knows this is only a pause.
"Did you like it? Fucking my brother?" Regulus asks, but he doesn't sound angry. He sounds curious as if he's interested in the subject to a great degree.
Remus only stares back at him in reply. He's utterly perplexed by this question. "It was...it was sex. Of course I enjoyed it."
Regulus smiles. A mocking sort of half smile. "Better than normal or the same?"
"It was--"
"You should show me. Show me how my brother kissed, show me how he touched you, show me how he fucked you."
"I fucked him," Remus blurts out before he can stop himself, and he's a little smug but also embarrassed. Regulus lifts his brows the same exact way Sirius does when he's delightedly surprised by something. "The first time, at least," Remus mumbles, his neck growing hot.
"Show me. I want to know if I'm better than my brother."
"It's not the same," Remus says with a flash of anger. "You're not the same bloody person. You can look at that fucking mark on your left arm and know that!"
"That's it? That's the only way we're different? Order versus Death Eaters. Two totally different worlds. You've got me pinned completely."
Now Remus' anger is more than a flash, it washes over him completely. Of course Regulus isn't Sirius. Remus hasn't had Regulus for this long because he thinks he's some version of Sirius. If anyone knows they're different it's him.
He grabs Regulus' arm and wrenches it as he pulls Regulus to him. It's much harder than he usually touches Regulus, but he puts his hands on Regulus to keep from hitting him. Regulus is a stupid fucking boy who went and signed up for Voldemort like he was some damn big shot. Remus is pissed off. That right there is every reason why they shouldn't be together. He wants to kick Regulus out and never see him again, but he won't, right now. First he wants to give Regulus what he wants, because it's all he can give him.
"Like this," Remus says as he pulls Regulus' hair, yanking his head backwards to expose his throat. He bites and licks along Regulus' beautiful pale, long neck just as Sirius did to him the first time. Regulus doesn't hiss or cringe at any of the bites. He moans and if anything pushes harder into Remus' mouth.
Remus reaches where Regulus' collarbone and neck meet and bites down hard, leaving a mark as Sirius had left on him that first night.
"Fuck!" Regulus cries out.
"Is this what you thought?" Remus asks against Regulus' skin. "That he'd be rough like this? He's gentle, too." Remus kisses along Regulus' shoulder with soft open mouth kisses. Remus stops and waits till Regulus looks at him. "He does everything. You know that about him. There isn't anything Sirius doesn't do."
Regulus' eyebrows twitch and he says, "Is that so? All I can tell is he kisses and bites. Any bastard can do that."
Remus grinds his teeth together and starts stripping away Regulus' clothes. He's so angry he can hear faint rips as he pulls his shirt too hard, shoves his trousers down before they're undone all the way. Remus doesn't know why he has to prove what a great fuck Sirius is, but he does.
He pushes Regulus to the bed and throws his t-shirt and pants aside. Regulus is on his back, stroking his cock as his gaze goes down Remus' body and stops on his erection. This is how they're different. Regulus' expression is so neutral he could be anywhere, class, art museum, walking down the street. When Sirius' is studying your naked body, your long, hard prick, he looks ravenous. He rolls his lips into his mouth, then licks them. He's ready to devour you, to be devoured by you.
"On your hands and knees," Remus says. "Sirius likes his arse licked."
"Who doesn't," Regulus says in retort, but he rolls over anyway.
Remus kneels next to him and whispers a touch across Regulus' crevice as he whispers in his ear, "You're right. Everyone likes their arse licked." He presses his thumb to Regulus' entrance and adds, "But Sirius really likes it. He can come from just from my tongue on his arse."
Regulus' eyes flutter close, and he lets out a long slow breath but doesn't say or do anything else.
Remus moves behind Regulus and pushes his thighs further apart with his knee. He grabs Regulus' arse in both hands, spreads him wide open, and presses the flat of his tongue against his hole.
Regulus moans as Remus had expected he would. There isn't anything quite like a mouth on your arse.
He eats Regulus' arse with every bit of enthusiasm he did with Sirius'. Maybe more. It isn't long before Regulus is rocking into his mouth and moaning. Remus breaches him with his tongue and Regulus cries out. "Fuck yes. Like that. Knew he liked it like this."
Remus presses his mouth harder to Regulus' flesh, so hard that he can hardly breath, he can feel his spit running down his chin. Regulus' body is shaking and he falls flat against the bed. Remus is right behind him, pushing his legs apart and not letting up for one moment.
He pushes a finger into Regulus. Regulus begins rolling his hips. Remus lifts his mouth away and adds another finger. Regulus buries his face in the mattress and moans. "Yes, like that," Remus says as he spreads his fingers in Regulus' arse. "Fuck yourself on the bed like that."
Remus' cock aches as he watches Regulus' beautiful round arse thrust over and over to the bed, his fingers disappearing and reappearing with each thrust. Regulus stills, and Remus pushes his fingers in as far as he can, and suddenly Regulus is gasping for breath and calling out, "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes, fuck!"
"Roll over," Remus says not even waiting for Regulus to enjoy the last thrills of his orgasm. "Sirius is this way," he explains. "Doesn't wait. Moves on to the next thing. Roll over."
Regulus does as he's told. His cock is still hard and the hairs on his stomach are sticky with come. Remus has to resist the urge to shove his thighs apart and shove his cock in his arse.
"Tell me to come on you," Remus says as he begins to stroke his cock.
"Get closer," Regulus says. "Want you to come on me."
"Beg me. Beg me like you want it.You need it more than you need to breath."
Remus doesn't need to stroke hard or fast. He's so close that the slightest thing would do him in.
"Is that how he is? A whiny little bitch who begs for come on his face?" Their eyes meet. Regulus' eyes are bright and his face is beautifully pink.
"You wish it was him coming on you," Remus says back in challenge. "You can't have him. You can have me, and I can come all over you same way I come all over him."
"Fuck, yes," Regulus says. He closes his eyes and begins stroking his cock and arching his back. "Come on me. Come on me, Moony. Want your come all over me." Remus strokes faster and he's close, so close. Regulus looks at him again and whispers, "Give it to me. Please." He sounds needy and pathetic and he's pumping his hips into his fist again already and that's it. Remus cries out as he comes hard on Regulus' chest and belly and a bit there on his neck. "Yes!" Regulus yells, and all Remus can manage to do is groan.
Remus sits on his heels, exhausted and shaking. He looks at Regulus whose cock is fully hard again. He takes a steadying breath and then straddles Regulus' hips. He pushes Regulus' cock into his arse and rides him exactly how he rode Sirius this morning because that is what Regulus wants.
***
They're all pissed out of their heads but none so much as Sirius. Granted it's fair, as it was his brother who is gone and probably dead. Remus sits on the sofa brooding as he drinks another beer. He's allowed to be upset. Regulus was something special to him, and he can never tell that to anyone or explain it.
After James leaves to drop Peter, who is good and passed out, off at home, Sirius comes out of his stupor and glares at Remus. Sirius is sitting in his favorite chair. Long limbs dangling over the sides, his legs stretched out in front of him. His head is resting against the back of the chair and his face is bright and his eyes bloodshot from too much drinking. "You can't keep a secret, Moony," Sirius slurs at him. Remus merely looks at Sirius, his words don't deem a reply. "Knew you were fucking him just like I knew you were a werewolf."
Remus shrugs and takes another drink. If Sirius knows then he knows, and there isn't anything Remus can do about that.
Sirius stands from his chair and sways slightly. He shuffles his feet slowly towards his bedroom, supporting himself on the furniture and walls as he goes. He pauses inches from his bedroom door and says, "He's not me. No one is me." He staggers into his room and slams the door behind him.
Remus wants to kick his door in and tell Sirius he is bloody well right. Regulus is not him. He's something different all together. That he's special and unique and not a bastard like Sirius. But he doesn't. He can't pick himself up off the couch to go and tell Sirius that. He'll let Sirius believe what he likes or maybe in the morning, if they remember this, he'll tell Sirius the truth.
But after and later they never talk about Regulus.
And later, much later, when James is dead, and Peter is dead, and Sirius is a horrible, filthy traitor and Remus is so very alone, he knows that nobody was Sirius. No one could ever be Sirius. And no one knew that better than Regulus.