FIC: A Slice of Lemon

[featherxquill]

Title: A Slice of Lemon
Author: cabepfir
Pairing: Minerva/Albus
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #79. Minerva/Dumbledore. Unrequited love. Minerva is broken when she discovers that Dumbledore is gay.
Content Information/Warnings: Violent imagery.
Summary: One love I had in my life, and it was denied me.
Author's Notes: Whopping thanks to my beta for her enthusiasm

Comments

[kerplankia]

Wow. What a powerful piece! I can feel Minerva's resentment and anger, plus her unrelenting lust that can never be fulfilled. And her reaction to Snape at the end-----perfect. Great job!

[cabepfir]

Thank you! It's good to read that it worked for you :)

[squibstress]

What a wonderful and terrifying portrait of unrequited love.

I love how you take us from a girlish, hopeful Minerva, resolutely refusing to believe what she hears, to embittered, adult Minerva, made vicious by years of longing. One can only imagine spending years so very close the the object of one's unrequited love and how it could damage one's psyche.

I can just see him climbing the steps up to the front door, with his crooked teeth and awful proboscis, and I pray that Hogwarts’ stairs will sway beneath his every step and make him fall. I pray that the Slytherin dungeons will open and swallow him alive, horns and tail, and that the Giant Squid will crush each of his bones until they’re reduced to dust. This I pray and this I ask of Hogwarts. I love the viciousness you've given her here. I can easily imagine her feeling that way, and it's something she'd never say out loud.

You will pay for his murder and for the things I never had, Snape. You are guilty of everything you took from me, of all the time you stood with him when I

[cabepfir]

Thank you so very much! Bitterness, viciousness and, at the same time, secrecy were exactly what I was aiming at here.

[kellychambliss]

Powerful and painful -- I can definitely see a repressed Minerva feeling this sort of violent bitterness and rage. The little details -- the lemon scent, the troubling callus (for often it's the little, ordinary pains that loom large both physically and metaphorically) -- are very effective.

I like the shifts in pov and the direct address; the second person works very well here.

I swallowed, clenched my jaw, and almost tore my robe under my fists, but I did not cry. Not even at night. A woman must not cry over men, I told myself. There are so many things more important than love. There will be more reasons to cry in the future. This is just not the day. I have lessons tomorrow.
Very IC for Minerva.

[cabepfir]

Thank you so much, Kelly!

[therealsnape]

A powerful portrait of her, indeed. The singlemindedness that she brings to her study - and to her love-life. The refusal to believe. The smell of lemon, that can affect her so much. And then the cold, vicious revenge she asks of Hogwarts. The change to a more formal way of speech, and the use of 'you', are so effective.

For great honour is acquired by revenge. Great last line.

[cabepfir]

Thank you, TRS!

The last line, I'm afraid, is borrowed from Dante; it's a translation of the last line of his canzone Così nel mio parlar voglio esser aspro (I want my speech to be as harsh) and in Italian sounds like "ché bell'onor s'acquista in far vendetta". ;)

[cabepfir]

Thank you! Snape's presence was greatly influenced by the other gift I did for this fest, "You Disgust Me."