deathly stressed...
So here goes the story of my life..
......................................
Iwent to the fair and was on the ferris wheel with my friend katie and hoard and jason rode with me so katie and howard could be "together" and jason and i were just talking and his sister called his girlfriend up there to see what was"going on" and now i am being threatened and harrassed by a bunch of girls.. so now jason comes and sees me and it is making the girls even more mad at me... they have my clothes and i want them back and they are not bringing them to me like they were supposed to do yesterday and now i just want to die but i will be okay in 26 days.....
......TBS and HHN's..... with april and jessica and tracy....
.................................
so here is my other little problem.. i like this guy named jeremy and i dont know if he likes me but i want to get to know him better and i want to date him but i am scared to ask him out because i dont know what he would say and i talk about him all the time to april and i just wish he knew.. so anyway any advise let me know..
................
..........
....
I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will some day.
...............................
Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?
You can't.
...........................
Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted
...........................................
Have you had cold showers of pain
My friend, you've stood in my rain
Deathly feeling of loneliness
No need to feel shameless
I've been there before
Not wanting to feel any more
Your hearts been broken in half
Mind still living in the past
Cold dark thoughts of suicide
Why don't I do it tonight
Don't worry it will go away
Learn to love another day
Put it in the back of mind
Let it rest and you will find
Dark clouds begin to part
New love will mend the heart
Thoughts of suicide disappear
Self- esteem will reappear
One day you'll be able to say
My friend you've stood in my rain
...............
well i gotta go buh bye i love you....
......................................
Iwent to the fair and was on the ferris wheel with my friend katie and hoard and jason rode with me so katie and howard could be "together" and jason and i were just talking and his sister called his girlfriend up there to see what was"going on" and now i am being threatened and harrassed by a bunch of girls.. so now jason comes and sees me and it is making the girls even more mad at me... they have my clothes and i want them back and they are not bringing them to me like they were supposed to do yesterday and now i just want to die but i will be okay in 26 days.....
......TBS and HHN's..... with april and jessica and tracy....
.................................
so here is my other little problem.. i like this guy named jeremy and i dont know if he likes me but i want to get to know him better and i want to date him but i am scared to ask him out because i dont know what he would say and i talk about him all the time to april and i just wish he knew.. so anyway any advise let me know..
................
..........
....
I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will some day.
...............................
Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?
You can't.
...........................
Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted
...........................................
Have you had cold showers of pain
My friend, you've stood in my rain
Deathly feeling of loneliness
No need to feel shameless
I've been there before
Not wanting to feel any more
Your hearts been broken in half
Mind still living in the past
Cold dark thoughts of suicide
Why don't I do it tonight
Don't worry it will go away
Learn to love another day
Put it in the back of mind
Let it rest and you will find
Dark clouds begin to part
New love will mend the heart
Thoughts of suicide disappear
Self- esteem will reappear
One day you'll be able to say
My friend you've stood in my rain
...............
well i gotta go buh bye i love you....