Trimming the fat.
Natural short storytellers won't see the big deal because, frankly, they can do this in their sleep. But I'm telling you--when a person who has comfortably written 100,000- to 150,000-word fantasy novels her whole life is about to finish a coherent (and pretty darned good) 15,000-word novella, it is Cause For Celebration. It's been a long, ridiculous journey that derailed in one place and then capsized in another. The honing will continue with future novella WIPs, but I have finally come to grips with being shortwinded without losing the sound of my Voice (critiques in the next two months will tell all... fingers crossed).
Some complicated word trimmers in my learning: Condensing narrative without running on, blowing syntax, or other structural mess-ups, and swapping epic issues that need ample room to work out (rape, agoraphobia, OCD, etc.) for those more workable in short (mugging victim, some claustrophobias, ADD, etc.) Some basic word trimmers I've come away with: Avoiding unnecessary characters and settings, simplifying plots and motivations, and not being so "wordy", even though lyrical George R.R. fantasy-speak is how my Right Brain rolls.
I was watching V: The Final Battle yesterday, on DVD. While listening to the dialogue and glancing at the English subtitles, I noticed that those subtitles weren't exactly what was being said--they were a more succinct version of the dialogue without losing meaning. It reminded me of what I've had to do with Dark Paranormal novella WIP--"un-wordy" it without losing what makes it special. She walked into the heart of the chamber, no. She entered the chamber's heart, yes.
Here is one of my favorite "V" scenes, dialogue first.
Pamela: "How did you find out about those raids? That's classified information."
Diana: "I'm entitled to know about the raids. The intelligence comes from a source that I created."
Pamela: "You're entitled to information that pertains to the scientific mission--nothing more."
Diana: "Then you're not taking the boy's report seriously?"
Pamela: "It's not standard practice to base troop movements on the tattlings of a ten-year-old Earthling."
Diana: "I converted him myself. The information is reliable."
Pamela: "I have serious doubts about your conversion processes. However, I'll have someone look into it."
Diana: "When? The raids are planned for tomorrow."
Pamela: "You scientific types are so easily ruffled."
Diana: "And you military types are so predictable."
Diana pulls out her firearm, sends Pamela into early retirement the painful way, and pins the crime on an innocent guard after killing him too.
Now for the subtitles.
"How did you find out about them? That's classified."
"I'm entitled to know about them. The intelligence is from MY source."
"You're entitled to scientific information ONLY."
"You're not taking it seriously?"
"I won't base troop movements on the tattlings of a ten-year-old boy."
"I converted him. The information's reliable."
"I doubt your conversions. I'll have someone look into it."
"When? The raid is tomorrow."
"You scientific types ruffle easily."
"You military types are so predictable."
Again, the best part. Pamela. Early retirement. Ouch.
That's a difference of thirty words, 689 characters versus 481, which doesn't sound like a lot, but can very well be the difference between being able to submit something today and having that market close on you before you can submit tomorrow.
*ahem* Yes, I have noticed, friends--your queen of longwinded has NO new skills when it comes to blog posts. This entry and its sentences are long enough to kill tapeworms. Let us end this then with the irreplaceable Diana feeding a subordinate, who pissed her off, to a crivitt.
Some complicated word trimmers in my learning: Condensing narrative without running on, blowing syntax, or other structural mess-ups, and swapping epic issues that need ample room to work out (rape, agoraphobia, OCD, etc.) for those more workable in short (mugging victim, some claustrophobias, ADD, etc.) Some basic word trimmers I've come away with: Avoiding unnecessary characters and settings, simplifying plots and motivations, and not being so "wordy", even though lyrical George R.R. fantasy-speak is how my Right Brain rolls.
I was watching V: The Final Battle yesterday, on DVD. While listening to the dialogue and glancing at the English subtitles, I noticed that those subtitles weren't exactly what was being said--they were a more succinct version of the dialogue without losing meaning. It reminded me of what I've had to do with Dark Paranormal novella WIP--"un-wordy" it without losing what makes it special. She walked into the heart of the chamber, no. She entered the chamber's heart, yes.
Here is one of my favorite "V" scenes, dialogue first.
Pamela: "How did you find out about those raids? That's classified information."
Diana: "I'm entitled to know about the raids. The intelligence comes from a source that I created."
Pamela: "You're entitled to information that pertains to the scientific mission--nothing more."
Diana: "Then you're not taking the boy's report seriously?"
Pamela: "It's not standard practice to base troop movements on the tattlings of a ten-year-old Earthling."
Diana: "I converted him myself. The information is reliable."
Pamela: "I have serious doubts about your conversion processes. However, I'll have someone look into it."
Diana: "When? The raids are planned for tomorrow."
Pamela: "You scientific types are so easily ruffled."
Diana: "And you military types are so predictable."
Diana pulls out her firearm, sends Pamela into early retirement the painful way, and pins the crime on an innocent guard after killing him too.
Now for the subtitles.
"How did you find out about them? That's classified."
"I'm entitled to know about them. The intelligence is from MY source."
"You're entitled to scientific information ONLY."
"You're not taking it seriously?"
"I won't base troop movements on the tattlings of a ten-year-old boy."
"I converted him. The information's reliable."
"I doubt your conversions. I'll have someone look into it."
"When? The raid is tomorrow."
"You scientific types ruffle easily."
"You military types are so predictable."
Again, the best part. Pamela. Early retirement. Ouch.
That's a difference of thirty words, 689 characters versus 481, which doesn't sound like a lot, but can very well be the difference between being able to submit something today and having that market close on you before you can submit tomorrow.
*ahem* Yes, I have noticed, friends--your queen of longwinded has NO new skills when it comes to blog posts. This entry and its sentences are long enough to kill tapeworms. Let us end this then with the irreplaceable Diana feeding a subordinate, who pissed her off, to a crivitt.
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