FIC: ONLINE DATING FOR DATA BOYS
Title: Online Dating For Data Boys
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2100
Pairing(s): Data Pair with a hint of Golden Pair.
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis does not belong to me. Although, someday I'll inherit it from Konomi.
Warnings: None.
Author's Notes: Written for demonoflight for the 2007 spring_fluff exchange. :)
Experiment #4599
Test the Probability in Finding a Date Through an Online Dating Service:
- the supposed 70% if using e-harmony.com
- the supposed 99% if using perfectmatch.com
- the supposed 97% if using great-expectations.com
Inui’s notebook lay open on top of his keyboard, his computer screen lit up with various Word documents of statistics and calculations. Another couple of windows had several online dating websites pulled up. A stack of books on Inui’s desk had titles like The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace, Sex, Lies and Online Dating, and from the classic instructional manual series, Online Dating for Dummies.
It was obvious that this was all for Inui’s latest experiment: Testing the Probability in Finding a Date Through an Online Dating Service.
For the longest time, Inui had pondered and contemplated doing an experiment like this. Online dating had, incidentally, been one of the things Inui had never quite understood. Many couples, nowadays, found their life partners through simply chatting together on the Internet, going on a few dates and somehow forming a real, compatible relationship after doing so. To Inui, it didn’t seem logical that these mere websites had managed to find proper and attuned matches for people looking for the right man or woman.
This was why Inui Sadaharu had taken it upon himself to test how accurate these online dating services truly were. He had bought several books to instruct him on using online dating sites, which he’d already started to make notes on during his history class earlier. It was slightly dull work without a computer in front of him to guide how he should be using the sites.
Glancing up at his screen, he began to fill out the information on the three dating sites he was going to use to test his hypothesis. The sites asked for basic information like age, gender, height, weight, likes, dislikes, religion and the like. Inui had decided early on that he would create a fake (but similar to himself) profile that would hopefully attract people.
“Hmm,” Inui sighed softly as he peered down at his notes. This experiment was going to be tougher than he’d anticipated.
* * & * *
In another household, somewhere in Kanagawa, Yanagi Renji sat on his bed with his laptop in front of him. He had pulled up several websites and was currently perusing them diligently.
I do things according to plan, Yanagi read in his head. He checked yes. I love to help others. Yanagi checked yes, again. I often carry the conversation to a higher level. Nodding slightly, he checked yes once and again. I often leave a mess in my room. Yanagi paused, not even needing to crack an eye open to glance at the fraternity-house-like disaster that was his bedroom. It’d been awhile since his mother had forced him to clean his room, which for the longest time had been neat and tidy. Yet, Yanagi had taken to leaving his clothes on the floor, piling up big stacks of school papers and mountains of soda cans.
The only seemingly clean thing in his room was his empty trashcan.
Sitting up straighter, Yanagi looked down at his computer screen. The survey he’d been filling out was for an online dating site, specifically for e-harmony.com. Although, he’d previously filled out four other surveys for similar sites with almost the same type of questions. It was tedious work, but Yanagi was determined, unbeknownst to his former doubles partner and rival, that he would figure out how precise the match ups for online dating services truly were.
Sighing a little, Yanagi continued clicking answers to the survey he’d taken several times before - to the point where he would know it almost by heart.
* * & * *
It was several days later when Inui was changing in the locker room with Oishi and Kikumaru when he realized he had not asked his teammates what their thoughts were on online dating.
“Oishi, what are your thoughts on participating in an online dating services?” Inui asked the fang haired boy randomly, while he stuffed his school uniform into his cubby hole.
Oishi paused for a moment, looking at Inui curiously before answering, “Ah, well… it works for some people, doesn’t it? I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know--”
“--Online dating is for people who stink at trying to find dates the real way!” Kikumaru interjected, bouncing over to Inui and Oishi to wrap an arm around Oishi’s shoulder.
Inui simply stared at Kikumaru, immediately noting what he had just said so he could write it down later.
“Eiji… I don’t think that’s true. Some people just--”
“--Suck at dating!”
“Eiji…”
“What?”
“Online dating is for people who want proper matches for themselves--”
“Oh, Oishi… you know it’s just for people can’t get dates!” Eiji let go of Oishi’s shoulder and made a pseudo-angry face at his doubles partner.
“Come on, Eiji. Online dating services are for people who--”
“--Can’t get dates!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“Yes! A thousand million times yes, it is why people choose to online date,” Eiji was making his angry face at Oishi and throwing up his arms to make the whole argument just a little more ridiculous.
“Okay, fine, that’s the reason, but only to make you stop going on about it,” Oishi said, sighing a little before giving his doubles partner a little smile.
“Oishi…” Eiji smiled back at him and grabbed his arm to tug him outside to practice their formations.
Inui, who had watched this the whole time, had pulled out his notebook and started to scribble down everything that they had said.
“Hmm… ii data,” he mumbled slightly, biting on the tip of his pen. Briefly, he wondered whether he should have asked Fuji or Taka-san for their opinions instead…
* * & * *
A few nights later, Yanagi had been sitting at his desk; his room more horribly a mess than a war zone. His laptop had several dating sites pulled up and Yanagi was staring at his empty matches page.
“Hmm,” he hummed, slightly puzzled that it’d been several days since he’d made a profiles on e-harmony.com, perfect match.com, great-expectations.com and he’d received no matches.
He sighed, simply sitting and staring at his rather bare, but seemingly attractive profile. Vaguely, Yanagi remembered his teammate’s opinions on the use and accuracy of online dating services.
“Online dating services are--Taranduro!” Sanada had told him, as he shouted at several freshmen who were running laps.
“Yanagi… Are you feeling lonely…?” Was Niou’s response to the question. Yagyuu had been standing next to him at the time and had shot Niou a look that made Niou shut up immediately.
Kirihara had eloquently told him, “Dating services are for losers who can’t get real dates.”
Yanagi found afterwards that he probably couldn’t rely on his team for proper opinions on even the simplest issues. He sighed again, glancing to the other side of his room where a large box of Pocky was sitting. Getting up from his chair, Yanagi picked up the box and ripped it open.
He walked back over to his desk and sat down in his office chair. Ignoring his computer screen, he stuck his hand inside the box of Pocky and grabbed a few sticks before shoving them inside his mouth.
Chewing slowly, his gaze drifted to his computer screen. A box had flashed up while he‘d gotten his box of Pocky. He leaned in closer and saw it was someone replying to his profile. Yanagi cocked his head a little and clicked on it…
* * & * *
It was dark inside Inui’s room, aside from his computer screen. He’d been looking through the many profiles on several dating sites. Much to Inui’s avail, he hadn’t found one decent match that would be a good test subject.
He was on about the hundredth page when he spotted a profile that looked incredibly attractive and definitely a match up for the fake profile Inui had created several weeks before.
“Hmmm… This one looks promising,” Inui muttered as he clicked on the profile to look at the statistics more closely. Quickly, he read over the basic information like the age (24), likes (tennis, computers, wrist weights, chemistry, parasols, shogi and Pocky), dislikes (losing at tennis, milk tea and shoujo novels) and all the other personality traits. All the things he’d read so far were indeed, compatible with the fake profile he’d made.
Sighing, Inui said back in his chair and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Then, Inui looked even closer at the page, eyes shifting over to the occupation information. Occupation: Professional Data Master, Inui read. He paused, staring at that one line, reading it over twenty times.
After only a moment, it made sense to Inui. Not to mention the percentage was high that it was it truly him…
“Renji…”
* * & * *
“Sadaharu…” Yanagi breathed, gaze scanning over the page of information. It was apparent that his friend had been doing the exact same thing he’d been doing for weeks, as evident of the date of creation of the profile - which was no doubt a fake, but entirely Inui generated.
Inui, Yanagi had come to find over the years could be terribly predictable and terribly obvious. He smiled, looking over all the other information: age (24), likes (tennis, data collecting, juice making, histories of meat and pi), dislikes (losing at tennis, opera and high cell phone bills) and all the other personality items listed.
Briefly, he wondered how long it would take before Inui figured out that he’d found Yanagi’s profile. Yanagi calculated about one point six minutes, approximately.
A few moments later, Yanagi heard his cell phone ring - the infamous Poké rap as his ring tone playing loudly - and when he picked it up, he could assume it was only one person.
“Hello?”
“Renji…”
“Ever so punctual, Sadaharu.”
* * & * *
“It still amuses me that we both can come up with the exact same experiment, get the exact same results and somehow you and I always end up sitting on my couch eating bowls of strawberry ice cream,” Inui remarked, glancing over at Yanagi who was balancing a large bowl of ice cream on his lap.
Yanagi looked back at him and smiled, trying not to laugh at their own silliness. “You know… it amuses me as well. It feels like we’re ten years old again.”
Inui nodded at him, “It really does. Do you remember when my mother bought us those two way radios and we would use them to talk about the new Pokémon episodes when we weren’t sitting in the same room together watching them?”
“Naturally. Those were rather brilliant days,” Yanagi was chuckling now and it only made Inui chuckle with him.
“We’re truly predictable, aren’t we?” Yanagi said, after they had stopped their laughing fit.
Inui nodded again, scooping up some ice cream and shoving it into his mouth, “Yeah, we really are predictable. It was a good attempt, testing online dating--”
“--Yet, we should have seen this coming,” Yanagi said, tapping his spoon against the side of the bowl.
“I had predicted you’d engage in this sort of experiment at some point or another, the actual percent being ninety-six point seven.”
“Only ninety-six point seven percent? Hakase, I would have thought you would have found the percentage to be much higher.”
“Hmm. Well, at one point it was ninety-six point eight percent,” Inui told him, still smiling.
“This is why my data is clearly superior to yours, I had calculated you would test this hypothesis in sometime during your life and I found the percentage to be a ninety-nine point five,” Yanagi said, smiling back.
“Well, I had calculated that we’d be sitting here eating ice cream and watching Pokémon re-runs together--”
“--You would have calculated that percentage yesterday, when you had discovered that you had been talking to me rather than some pathetic person looking for a date.”
“Ah, I see. Well, that‘s true. I had indeed found that percentage nearly moments after I realized it was you who I was talking to.”
“What was the percentage, out of curiosity?”
“A whopping ninety-nine percent.”
“What’s the last one percent for?”
“The tiny doubt that you’d let your older brother use your computer to find himself a date.”
Yanagi laughed, “Oh, Sadaharu… your data is as accurate as ever.”
Inui looked at him, chuckling softly, “Don’t you mean our data, Kyouju?”
“Hakase.”
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2100
Pairing(s): Data Pair with a hint of Golden Pair.
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis does not belong to me. Although, someday I'll inherit it from Konomi.
Warnings: None.
Author's Notes: Written for demonoflight for the 2007 spring_fluff exchange. :)
Experiment #4599
Test the Probability in Finding a Date Through an Online Dating Service:
- the supposed 70% if using e-harmony.com
- the supposed 99% if using perfectmatch.com
- the supposed 97% if using great-expectations.com
Inui’s notebook lay open on top of his keyboard, his computer screen lit up with various Word documents of statistics and calculations. Another couple of windows had several online dating websites pulled up. A stack of books on Inui’s desk had titles like The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace, Sex, Lies and Online Dating, and from the classic instructional manual series, Online Dating for Dummies.
It was obvious that this was all for Inui’s latest experiment: Testing the Probability in Finding a Date Through an Online Dating Service.
For the longest time, Inui had pondered and contemplated doing an experiment like this. Online dating had, incidentally, been one of the things Inui had never quite understood. Many couples, nowadays, found their life partners through simply chatting together on the Internet, going on a few dates and somehow forming a real, compatible relationship after doing so. To Inui, it didn’t seem logical that these mere websites had managed to find proper and attuned matches for people looking for the right man or woman.
This was why Inui Sadaharu had taken it upon himself to test how accurate these online dating services truly were. He had bought several books to instruct him on using online dating sites, which he’d already started to make notes on during his history class earlier. It was slightly dull work without a computer in front of him to guide how he should be using the sites.
Glancing up at his screen, he began to fill out the information on the three dating sites he was going to use to test his hypothesis. The sites asked for basic information like age, gender, height, weight, likes, dislikes, religion and the like. Inui had decided early on that he would create a fake (but similar to himself) profile that would hopefully attract people.
“Hmm,” Inui sighed softly as he peered down at his notes. This experiment was going to be tougher than he’d anticipated.
* * & * *
In another household, somewhere in Kanagawa, Yanagi Renji sat on his bed with his laptop in front of him. He had pulled up several websites and was currently perusing them diligently.
I do things according to plan, Yanagi read in his head. He checked yes. I love to help others. Yanagi checked yes, again. I often carry the conversation to a higher level. Nodding slightly, he checked yes once and again. I often leave a mess in my room. Yanagi paused, not even needing to crack an eye open to glance at the fraternity-house-like disaster that was his bedroom. It’d been awhile since his mother had forced him to clean his room, which for the longest time had been neat and tidy. Yet, Yanagi had taken to leaving his clothes on the floor, piling up big stacks of school papers and mountains of soda cans.
The only seemingly clean thing in his room was his empty trashcan.
Sitting up straighter, Yanagi looked down at his computer screen. The survey he’d been filling out was for an online dating site, specifically for e-harmony.com. Although, he’d previously filled out four other surveys for similar sites with almost the same type of questions. It was tedious work, but Yanagi was determined, unbeknownst to his former doubles partner and rival, that he would figure out how precise the match ups for online dating services truly were.
Sighing a little, Yanagi continued clicking answers to the survey he’d taken several times before - to the point where he would know it almost by heart.
* * & * *
It was several days later when Inui was changing in the locker room with Oishi and Kikumaru when he realized he had not asked his teammates what their thoughts were on online dating.
“Oishi, what are your thoughts on participating in an online dating services?” Inui asked the fang haired boy randomly, while he stuffed his school uniform into his cubby hole.
Oishi paused for a moment, looking at Inui curiously before answering, “Ah, well… it works for some people, doesn’t it? I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know--”
“--Online dating is for people who stink at trying to find dates the real way!” Kikumaru interjected, bouncing over to Inui and Oishi to wrap an arm around Oishi’s shoulder.
Inui simply stared at Kikumaru, immediately noting what he had just said so he could write it down later.
“Eiji… I don’t think that’s true. Some people just--”
“--Suck at dating!”
“Eiji…”
“What?”
“Online dating is for people who want proper matches for themselves--”
“Oh, Oishi… you know it’s just for people can’t get dates!” Eiji let go of Oishi’s shoulder and made a pseudo-angry face at his doubles partner.
“Come on, Eiji. Online dating services are for people who--”
“--Can’t get dates!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“Yes! A thousand million times yes, it is why people choose to online date,” Eiji was making his angry face at Oishi and throwing up his arms to make the whole argument just a little more ridiculous.
“Okay, fine, that’s the reason, but only to make you stop going on about it,” Oishi said, sighing a little before giving his doubles partner a little smile.
“Oishi…” Eiji smiled back at him and grabbed his arm to tug him outside to practice their formations.
Inui, who had watched this the whole time, had pulled out his notebook and started to scribble down everything that they had said.
“Hmm… ii data,” he mumbled slightly, biting on the tip of his pen. Briefly, he wondered whether he should have asked Fuji or Taka-san for their opinions instead…
* * & * *
A few nights later, Yanagi had been sitting at his desk; his room more horribly a mess than a war zone. His laptop had several dating sites pulled up and Yanagi was staring at his empty matches page.
“Hmm,” he hummed, slightly puzzled that it’d been several days since he’d made a profiles on e-harmony.com, perfect match.com, great-expectations.com and he’d received no matches.
He sighed, simply sitting and staring at his rather bare, but seemingly attractive profile. Vaguely, Yanagi remembered his teammate’s opinions on the use and accuracy of online dating services.
“Online dating services are--Taranduro!” Sanada had told him, as he shouted at several freshmen who were running laps.
“Yanagi… Are you feeling lonely…?” Was Niou’s response to the question. Yagyuu had been standing next to him at the time and had shot Niou a look that made Niou shut up immediately.
Kirihara had eloquently told him, “Dating services are for losers who can’t get real dates.”
Yanagi found afterwards that he probably couldn’t rely on his team for proper opinions on even the simplest issues. He sighed again, glancing to the other side of his room where a large box of Pocky was sitting. Getting up from his chair, Yanagi picked up the box and ripped it open.
He walked back over to his desk and sat down in his office chair. Ignoring his computer screen, he stuck his hand inside the box of Pocky and grabbed a few sticks before shoving them inside his mouth.
Chewing slowly, his gaze drifted to his computer screen. A box had flashed up while he‘d gotten his box of Pocky. He leaned in closer and saw it was someone replying to his profile. Yanagi cocked his head a little and clicked on it…
* * & * *
It was dark inside Inui’s room, aside from his computer screen. He’d been looking through the many profiles on several dating sites. Much to Inui’s avail, he hadn’t found one decent match that would be a good test subject.
He was on about the hundredth page when he spotted a profile that looked incredibly attractive and definitely a match up for the fake profile Inui had created several weeks before.
“Hmmm… This one looks promising,” Inui muttered as he clicked on the profile to look at the statistics more closely. Quickly, he read over the basic information like the age (24), likes (tennis, computers, wrist weights, chemistry, parasols, shogi and Pocky), dislikes (losing at tennis, milk tea and shoujo novels) and all the other personality traits. All the things he’d read so far were indeed, compatible with the fake profile he’d made.
Sighing, Inui said back in his chair and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Then, Inui looked even closer at the page, eyes shifting over to the occupation information. Occupation: Professional Data Master, Inui read. He paused, staring at that one line, reading it over twenty times.
After only a moment, it made sense to Inui. Not to mention the percentage was high that it was it truly him…
“Renji…”
* * & * *
“Sadaharu…” Yanagi breathed, gaze scanning over the page of information. It was apparent that his friend had been doing the exact same thing he’d been doing for weeks, as evident of the date of creation of the profile - which was no doubt a fake, but entirely Inui generated.
Inui, Yanagi had come to find over the years could be terribly predictable and terribly obvious. He smiled, looking over all the other information: age (24), likes (tennis, data collecting, juice making, histories of meat and pi), dislikes (losing at tennis, opera and high cell phone bills) and all the other personality items listed.
Briefly, he wondered how long it would take before Inui figured out that he’d found Yanagi’s profile. Yanagi calculated about one point six minutes, approximately.
A few moments later, Yanagi heard his cell phone ring - the infamous Poké rap as his ring tone playing loudly - and when he picked it up, he could assume it was only one person.
“Hello?”
“Renji…”
“Ever so punctual, Sadaharu.”
* * & * *
“It still amuses me that we both can come up with the exact same experiment, get the exact same results and somehow you and I always end up sitting on my couch eating bowls of strawberry ice cream,” Inui remarked, glancing over at Yanagi who was balancing a large bowl of ice cream on his lap.
Yanagi looked back at him and smiled, trying not to laugh at their own silliness. “You know… it amuses me as well. It feels like we’re ten years old again.”
Inui nodded at him, “It really does. Do you remember when my mother bought us those two way radios and we would use them to talk about the new Pokémon episodes when we weren’t sitting in the same room together watching them?”
“Naturally. Those were rather brilliant days,” Yanagi was chuckling now and it only made Inui chuckle with him.
“We’re truly predictable, aren’t we?” Yanagi said, after they had stopped their laughing fit.
Inui nodded again, scooping up some ice cream and shoving it into his mouth, “Yeah, we really are predictable. It was a good attempt, testing online dating--”
“--Yet, we should have seen this coming,” Yanagi said, tapping his spoon against the side of the bowl.
“I had predicted you’d engage in this sort of experiment at some point or another, the actual percent being ninety-six point seven.”
“Only ninety-six point seven percent? Hakase, I would have thought you would have found the percentage to be much higher.”
“Hmm. Well, at one point it was ninety-six point eight percent,” Inui told him, still smiling.
“This is why my data is clearly superior to yours, I had calculated you would test this hypothesis in sometime during your life and I found the percentage to be a ninety-nine point five,” Yanagi said, smiling back.
“Well, I had calculated that we’d be sitting here eating ice cream and watching Pokémon re-runs together--”
“--You would have calculated that percentage yesterday, when you had discovered that you had been talking to me rather than some pathetic person looking for a date.”
“Ah, I see. Well, that‘s true. I had indeed found that percentage nearly moments after I realized it was you who I was talking to.”
“What was the percentage, out of curiosity?”
“A whopping ninety-nine percent.”
“What’s the last one percent for?”
“The tiny doubt that you’d let your older brother use your computer to find himself a date.”
Yanagi laughed, “Oh, Sadaharu… your data is as accurate as ever.”
Inui looked at him, chuckling softly, “Don’t you mean our data, Kyouju?”
“Hakase.”