(no subject)
I am doing really good.
Everything is going great, 1 week from today I go to Florida.
I saw a wonderful boy tonight that I hadn't seen for a while. I miss him. *zac*
Going to the garage makes me feel good, it is like a self esteem booster I guess.
People that I don't see much anymore come up to me and tell me they miss me and give me hugs.
I love getting hugs, especially big ones.
Seeing someone turn into everything they once hated in a person is sad.
But it doesn't make me sad, the person I once knew is dead.
Their evil twin is all that is left, and I couldn't care less about that boy.
I will be nice, I will joke around. I will even give him an oatmeal cream pie to keep him from being an ass to me.
But my heart no longer goes out to him, my heart stays in place when I see him.
I don't hate him, I pity him.
I feel terrible for his mother.
Sorry, this is my anger outlet.
I see him and I get angry that I ever loved him.
That I put so much time effort and love into him.
All I got in return was a big feeling or regret and lack of self confidence.
I wish I never met him.
But whenever he sees me I will be polite, I will be fun, I will be happy, and I will share with him.
He made me miserable without even trying, and I picked myself up and put everything back together.
I couldn't imagine what damage that boy could do if he really tried.
And that is that.
Out of all that anger though, I can still sit here with a smile on my face.
I am happy.
I get to be with my family and wonderful people in a week!
I cannot wait.
Then my lovely cousin Dayna is coming here for a couple of days.
Then I get to see the rest of my family again in Illinois.
My family is truly the greatest group of people I know.
There is nobody I love more.
Though I do love Scode quite even with them.
But he is like family.
Now I am just rambling out of giddiness.
I get to go shopping with my mother tomorrow...hehehehe AND maybe go out to dinner with Zac, that would be lovely.
ho boy.
I am a giddy wreck.
I love being in control of my heart.
I've been spending a lot of time with my best buddy Steve.
Here are some pictures.
He is holding Jones soda.
Me smiling with my teeth in a picture... it is a first.
Everything is going great, 1 week from today I go to Florida.
I saw a wonderful boy tonight that I hadn't seen for a while. I miss him. *zac*
Going to the garage makes me feel good, it is like a self esteem booster I guess.
People that I don't see much anymore come up to me and tell me they miss me and give me hugs.
I love getting hugs, especially big ones.
Seeing someone turn into everything they once hated in a person is sad.
But it doesn't make me sad, the person I once knew is dead.
Their evil twin is all that is left, and I couldn't care less about that boy.
I will be nice, I will joke around. I will even give him an oatmeal cream pie to keep him from being an ass to me.
But my heart no longer goes out to him, my heart stays in place when I see him.
I don't hate him, I pity him.
I feel terrible for his mother.
Sorry, this is my anger outlet.
I see him and I get angry that I ever loved him.
That I put so much time effort and love into him.
All I got in return was a big feeling or regret and lack of self confidence.
I wish I never met him.
But whenever he sees me I will be polite, I will be fun, I will be happy, and I will share with him.
He made me miserable without even trying, and I picked myself up and put everything back together.
I couldn't imagine what damage that boy could do if he really tried.
And that is that.
Out of all that anger though, I can still sit here with a smile on my face.
I am happy.
I get to be with my family and wonderful people in a week!
I cannot wait.
Then my lovely cousin Dayna is coming here for a couple of days.
Then I get to see the rest of my family again in Illinois.
My family is truly the greatest group of people I know.
There is nobody I love more.
Though I do love Scode quite even with them.
But he is like family.
Now I am just rambling out of giddiness.
I get to go shopping with my mother tomorrow...hehehehe AND maybe go out to dinner with Zac, that would be lovely.
ho boy.
I am a giddy wreck.
I love being in control of my heart.
I've been spending a lot of time with my best buddy Steve.
Here are some pictures.
He is holding Jones soda.
Me smiling with my teeth in a picture... it is a first.