brood on, my dear..
"Do you love someone because you were kissed by him?
It isn`t love, it`s interiority complex.
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?
It isn`t love, it`s like.
You can`t keep your eyes off of them, am I right?
It isn`t love, it`s lust.
Do you love someone because you can`t live without their touch?
It`s not love, it`s lust.
Are you proud and eager to show them off?
It isn`t love, it`s luck.
Do you want them because you know they`re there?
It isn`t love, it`s loneliness.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don`t want to hurt them?
It isn`t love, it`s pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn`t love, it`s infatuation.
Do you think he or she is really gorgeous?
It isn`t love, it`s infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn`t love, it`s friendship.
Do you share everything with them?
It isn`t love, it`s friendship.
Do you tell them that they are the only one you think of?
It isn`t love, it`s a lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn`t love, it`s charity.
Would you sacrifice your own life for them?
It isn`t love, it`s heroism.
If you love someone because you think that you shouldn`t leave him because others think that you shouldn`t...
It isn`t love, it`s compromise.
Do you know you love them because you simply cannot live without them?
It isn`t love, it`s dependency.
Does your heart ache and break, do you cry for their pain, even when they`re strong?
Then it`s love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it`s love.
Would you allow them to leave you, not because they want to but because they have to?
Then it`s love."
so life's really been treating me fairly nowadays. school has been way too much of a hassle and i feel like i just died today. there's just way too much crap teachers are piling up on us and it's only the beginning of the marking period! i hate my physics group, no offense. i feel like i did so much during that period without much help. it gave me such a bad headache that i couldn't study for the english test. grawr. thankfully i'm going on that french/spanish club trip tomorrow. i can't take another day of school!
i've been so much more active in church right now and i'm happy about it. i still feel kinda left out with everyone else. last night was so bad for me emotionally. at MGEM practice kim brought in the scrapbook she made for kai and i was just wishing i had friends like that. close close friends like kai. they were together since they were little kids but that's only a dream of mine. i haven't had any really close friends that i can completely trust and turn to and that my parents approve of either. even in that horoscope email thing it said that the number of real close friends i have in my lifetime would only be six. that's true i guess, but i really need just someone to understand me completely right now. but what can i do? all i can do is to turn to God to comfort me.