Sundays
Growing up you always are taught everything has a beginning and an end. That we, as people, follow a life cycle that one day will reach its end. We're taught this lesson and yet somehow we find ourselves thinking that the people in our life and, at times, ourselves are exempt from this fact.
My junior year of high school one of my favorite teachers, since 7th grade, passed away. It has been 5 years since he passed and I can't think of one day I haven't remembered one of his jokes or one of his lectures on the importance of being the best person you can be. You really don't know how much someone impacts your life until they're no longer there.
I was just sitting at my computer and thinking about things that have been going on and my uncertainty of what my next big adventure is going to be after A&M and what path I should pursue next. I then found myself googling Coach Stig's name and reading letters people had written to Galveston Daily News of their memories of Stiglich. As I read through them I began to get a smile on my face. So many people from over the years that knew Coach Stig, either on the tennis court or in his classroom, all had the same love and admiration as I do for my former Texas history teacher. Like many great teachers he taught beyond the curriculum by giving valuable life lessons along the way. He had this way of letting you know you had messed up or acted inappropriately without really having to say anything. He just had this look of certainty that said 'You and I both know you know better and ARE better."
One lesson he taught and that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life is being honest and a good person trumps everything else. That you should never allow anything to degrade your character- that nothing is worth it. Then I began to feel bad...really bad. My behavior and how I have handled things as of late I know Coach wouldn't be very proud. Knowing he wouldn't be proud I'm really disappointed in myself. Instead of rolling with the punches and keeping my head up I took the bait and got myself into a juvenile tango. One thing Coach Stig always said was "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink." While this doesn't directly correlate to I'm talking about- it kind of does. While I was nice and tried to portray wanting to develop a friendship and nothing else, the more I kept being put in awkward situations. I tried acting like there wasn't an elephant in the room and that nothing was out of place.
Thats when I started to get angry because I was trying so hard to make allowances for other people's lack of moral fiber- so that I could develop a friendship. Then I think I started to get mad at myself for being in this situation and for trying to acquaint myself with people who I always have been taught to avoid- those with no clear understanding between right and wrong. In my anger I chose to retaliate; to get even. In doing so, I accomplished nothing but tarnishing my character. But I was so vexed on getting even that every rational thing I ever have been taught just seemed to have left my mind. Thankfully anger has a short lifespan and I have started to correct my wrong behavior in wanting revenge. At the end of the day I didn't do anything wrong until I got on the express train of revenge. For that, I am ashamed of myself. I'm also proud to have had such influential mentors over the years to pass on their wisdom from their experiences in life. You cannot always correct or influence others behavior but you can control yours. I know now what I knew then and foolishly ignored: You cannot ignore the obvious just because you think there is something to be gained. No potential knowledge is worth being put in unnecessary situations that do nothing but make you look bad. That just because you believe people will ultimately choose to do the right thing doesn't mean they will.
As I write this and still have the countless memories from Stiglich's classroom and his many lectures I can finally be done with this. Finally getting all of this out and not allowing it to harbor inside of me anymore feels really good. It is also a good reminder that continuing to make my past, present, and future mentors proud is more important to me than trying to understand people's intentions and motives behind their actions. I proposed friendship to which they agreed. To only have it come out that I was being lied to from the get go. But that's not my problem and nor will it be. Leading a life of deception is not something I stand for and I don't want people who find it to be ok in my life. So I am washing my hands of this and never thinking on it again. At the age of 23 I still want to make Coach Stig proud and that in itself speaks volumes on the impact he had on my life!
My junior year of high school one of my favorite teachers, since 7th grade, passed away. It has been 5 years since he passed and I can't think of one day I haven't remembered one of his jokes or one of his lectures on the importance of being the best person you can be. You really don't know how much someone impacts your life until they're no longer there.
I was just sitting at my computer and thinking about things that have been going on and my uncertainty of what my next big adventure is going to be after A&M and what path I should pursue next. I then found myself googling Coach Stig's name and reading letters people had written to Galveston Daily News of their memories of Stiglich. As I read through them I began to get a smile on my face. So many people from over the years that knew Coach Stig, either on the tennis court or in his classroom, all had the same love and admiration as I do for my former Texas history teacher. Like many great teachers he taught beyond the curriculum by giving valuable life lessons along the way. He had this way of letting you know you had messed up or acted inappropriately without really having to say anything. He just had this look of certainty that said 'You and I both know you know better and ARE better."
One lesson he taught and that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life is being honest and a good person trumps everything else. That you should never allow anything to degrade your character- that nothing is worth it. Then I began to feel bad...really bad. My behavior and how I have handled things as of late I know Coach wouldn't be very proud. Knowing he wouldn't be proud I'm really disappointed in myself. Instead of rolling with the punches and keeping my head up I took the bait and got myself into a juvenile tango. One thing Coach Stig always said was "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink." While this doesn't directly correlate to I'm talking about- it kind of does. While I was nice and tried to portray wanting to develop a friendship and nothing else, the more I kept being put in awkward situations. I tried acting like there wasn't an elephant in the room and that nothing was out of place.
Thats when I started to get angry because I was trying so hard to make allowances for other people's lack of moral fiber- so that I could develop a friendship. Then I think I started to get mad at myself for being in this situation and for trying to acquaint myself with people who I always have been taught to avoid- those with no clear understanding between right and wrong. In my anger I chose to retaliate; to get even. In doing so, I accomplished nothing but tarnishing my character. But I was so vexed on getting even that every rational thing I ever have been taught just seemed to have left my mind. Thankfully anger has a short lifespan and I have started to correct my wrong behavior in wanting revenge. At the end of the day I didn't do anything wrong until I got on the express train of revenge. For that, I am ashamed of myself. I'm also proud to have had such influential mentors over the years to pass on their wisdom from their experiences in life. You cannot always correct or influence others behavior but you can control yours. I know now what I knew then and foolishly ignored: You cannot ignore the obvious just because you think there is something to be gained. No potential knowledge is worth being put in unnecessary situations that do nothing but make you look bad. That just because you believe people will ultimately choose to do the right thing doesn't mean they will.
As I write this and still have the countless memories from Stiglich's classroom and his many lectures I can finally be done with this. Finally getting all of this out and not allowing it to harbor inside of me anymore feels really good. It is also a good reminder that continuing to make my past, present, and future mentors proud is more important to me than trying to understand people's intentions and motives behind their actions. I proposed friendship to which they agreed. To only have it come out that I was being lied to from the get go. But that's not my problem and nor will it be. Leading a life of deception is not something I stand for and I don't want people who find it to be ok in my life. So I am washing my hands of this and never thinking on it again. At the age of 23 I still want to make Coach Stig proud and that in itself speaks volumes on the impact he had on my life!