Jeff-isms ! ! ! a.k.a. Jeff IS the "giggle loop"
so, who ever saw "Coupling" is probably familiar with the phenomena of Jeff. but, to all those who aren´t, here are a few of my fav Jeff-isms.
- "I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it."
-
Jeff: "Maybe you've fallen into a relationship thing."
Steve: "Thing? Yet you have 8000 words for breasts."
Jeff: "And counting."
-
"What have you got?"
"Three biscuits and an apple.I've owned the apple for a while. I think it's still broadly feasible...but I wouldn't want to talk it up. It's so difficult to miss the apple window isn't it?"
-
Jeff: "...then she removed a large staplers from one of the shelves. "
Patrick: "A LARGE stapler.
*Strange looks from steve. *
Patrick: "sorry, it's just difficult to tell which parts of the convesation is interesting" (ok, so this one´s actually a Patric-ism but i just love that one so much i had to put it in :D ) -
"I hate phoning.... you never know who's gonna answer...... if you phone someone.... someone you know, or a woman....."
-
Jeff: Ok, maybe I can help you. You know jelly wrestling? Which is basically jelly with women wrestling in it.
Steve: We're familiar with the concept yes.
Jeff: Ok, well, think about this afterwards, after the wrestling. What happens to the jelly?
Steve: The jelly. Jeff: Because you could sell that. That... is a missed opportunity. You could bottle and sell it.
Steve: Ok
Jeff: You'd take the women out first, obviously.
Steve: Good.
Jeff: There'd just be a hint.
Steve: Are you in any way moving in the direction of relevance?
Jeff: Relevance? Steve, do you realize what I just invented? Porn Jelly. The human race's two most favourite things meet at last. In dessert form.
Steve: Jeff!
Jeff: There's a lot of lonely people out there Steve. What do lonely people enjoy? Puddings and porn. Now, for all your needs, pudding porn. It's a girlfriend in a jar except it's jelly.
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' Well, it's kind of hard to tell isn't it 'cos you tend to fast forward if anyone's dressed. Sometimes I forget and do that with proper films. I can get through a lot of movies in an evening'
and a Susan-ism;
"Men, and I don't mean to generalize, are crap! They're the human race's only failed gender. Who needs them - and why are they so difficult to keep hold of? Do you think they realize that were it not for the genetic imperative to populate the earth, they wouldn't get a date. That's one hell of an inducement. No pressure girls, but shag one of these or it's curtains for all human kind. That's harassment! But you know what? Do you know what's even more crap than men? We are more crap than men. All those stupid books you guys had, and these magazines - a hundred pages of 'men are useless bastards' and an article on why you should wake him up with a blow-job. Am I alone in spotting the inconsistency here? And these places - because for God’s sake don’t let them see what we really look like. Just let them enjoy the results. Don’t let them see how it all happens."