Why do bugs hate me?
And other deep thoughts..... I have a spider bite on my elbow, and I swear today that ants were biting me on the ass. I'm fighting off mosquitoes on Paul's lanai right now. The sun is hitting me hard as it starts to set. A half mile away, the ocean is a glaring white blur beyond the banana trees and papaya. All of my inner monologue is now in a male, brittish accent. Its kind of annoying, and kindove cool. This is what happens when you watch Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, reread the same book, watch Harry potter and the chamber of secrets, and listen to Harry Potter and the Half blood prince on cassete tapes (all 12 of them!) in one month. And I have yet to crack the new 7th and final book, the Deathly Hallows. The obsession continues. I realized today that I can more easily remember certain things I was doing when I correspond them to which Harry Potter book I was reading at the time. I have a bad memory, so whatever helps... and its been going on for over 7 years I think. If only the series could span my entire life, I could, like my grand father, remember the details of my whole life. Oh, I was in Kansas City, working on rebuilding the Trocadero with Tony when order of the Phoenix came out in 2003, and so on. How my Grandfather can remember where he was and what he was doing on any given day at a moments notice, I will never know.
It's weird now, I've been living in limbo (aka Pauls house) for what seems like a week now. Actually, it's only been 4 days. I'm getting all sorts of psychic feelings lately, and I kick myself when i don't follow them. I'm trying to feel out this new relationship of mine, and I have know idea how it's going. Why do I take everything so personally? Why am I so incenced when people just on the whole, inherently don't trust me? Having to prove yourself all the time over and over and over again, it's getting really fucking annoying. Saturday I drive back over to Puna and my new place, for Tessa and Jimmys going away potluck.... I'm crossing my fingers that my new living situation will work out. If it doesn't it will be very bad. Probably not a good idea to get into a work trade/renting from my bf as well. But thats just the way it worked out. I will certainly be missing the geckos here, esp. Ringo.
My plans for burning man are changing, in fact, I seriously doubt I am going now. Fact is, there is noone that wants to go with me, as Paul has backed out. I can't really blame him. Still, going out there my first time, by myself, with no camp or support system sounds like no fun at all. I'd rather spend my money and time on something I know I will really enjoy. John and I have discussed going to both Brazil and Europe, but I don't know how serious he is. Is he for real, or just being Mr. Spontaneous? I do love that about him though. How many times in my last big relationship did I wish to myself that there was a lot more spontanaety? Anyway.......
Tomorrow I go for a psuedo job interview with Film guy, and Rubey is going to be working on the job with me, which will be fun. Last time I was working with her, it was door to door for FEEEEEMA. No I don't know how to spell it.
It's weird now, I've been living in limbo (aka Pauls house) for what seems like a week now. Actually, it's only been 4 days. I'm getting all sorts of psychic feelings lately, and I kick myself when i don't follow them. I'm trying to feel out this new relationship of mine, and I have know idea how it's going. Why do I take everything so personally? Why am I so incenced when people just on the whole, inherently don't trust me? Having to prove yourself all the time over and over and over again, it's getting really fucking annoying. Saturday I drive back over to Puna and my new place, for Tessa and Jimmys going away potluck.... I'm crossing my fingers that my new living situation will work out. If it doesn't it will be very bad. Probably not a good idea to get into a work trade/renting from my bf as well. But thats just the way it worked out. I will certainly be missing the geckos here, esp. Ringo.
My plans for burning man are changing, in fact, I seriously doubt I am going now. Fact is, there is noone that wants to go with me, as Paul has backed out. I can't really blame him. Still, going out there my first time, by myself, with no camp or support system sounds like no fun at all. I'd rather spend my money and time on something I know I will really enjoy. John and I have discussed going to both Brazil and Europe, but I don't know how serious he is. Is he for real, or just being Mr. Spontaneous? I do love that about him though. How many times in my last big relationship did I wish to myself that there was a lot more spontanaety? Anyway.......
Tomorrow I go for a psuedo job interview with Film guy, and Rubey is going to be working on the job with me, which will be fun. Last time I was working with her, it was door to door for FEEEEEMA. No I don't know how to spell it.