Sigh.
So, yes the deed is done….. the boy is gone, notice I didn’t call him a man….. la la. I think a couple of weeks ago I was obsessing about him, and the thought of his leaving tortured me somewhat, but now I’ve passed that and am feeling okay about it. I’ve definitely felt worse. But I’ve also come to accept that depression is something I will battle my entire life. It’s under control, but still there. People who leave my life, remind me of that. Also caring about someone who doesn’t really value me in his life, which I think is the case with you know who. If you don’t then it doesn’t matter. Anyhow, maybe next time I will think twice about spending all my time with someone who’s leaving the island in a month, or two, or 6.
Anyway, I can’t believe I will be moved by the end of this next week. I haven’t even started packing; I’ve been sewing an obi for my Halloween costume. My plans are still being firmed up, so I don’t want to write about the details just yet. But I did get a job as a full time nanny in Kona. The CPR class and orientation are on Friday. I can’t wait to see if I can pull off a job taking care of kids. Two things make me believe I can. Money. A huge motivator. Viola. Second: oh god I just forgot my second reason. I guess the second would be money as well. I’ll think of it later. If anyone has a vote of confidence for me, I would sure appreciate it right now. Oh yeah, I remembered. A few people in my life have said that I am not good with kids, would make a bad mom, etc. My response to that is: fuck ‘em. If I’m told I can’t do something, I’m likely to go and pointedly do it, or at least try. For example, acting and singing on stage. Also, doing a computer desk job. Well, that I knew I could do, but was told by a former boss that I couldn’t. Fuck ‘im. That’s my motto.
So I’m off to a medieval fair of some sort. I am representing the pixies, and dressed as one.
Anyway, I can’t believe I will be moved by the end of this next week. I haven’t even started packing; I’ve been sewing an obi for my Halloween costume. My plans are still being firmed up, so I don’t want to write about the details just yet. But I did get a job as a full time nanny in Kona. The CPR class and orientation are on Friday. I can’t wait to see if I can pull off a job taking care of kids. Two things make me believe I can. Money. A huge motivator. Viola. Second: oh god I just forgot my second reason. I guess the second would be money as well. I’ll think of it later. If anyone has a vote of confidence for me, I would sure appreciate it right now. Oh yeah, I remembered. A few people in my life have said that I am not good with kids, would make a bad mom, etc. My response to that is: fuck ‘em. If I’m told I can’t do something, I’m likely to go and pointedly do it, or at least try. For example, acting and singing on stage. Also, doing a computer desk job. Well, that I knew I could do, but was told by a former boss that I couldn’t. Fuck ‘im. That’s my motto.
So I’m off to a medieval fair of some sort. I am representing the pixies, and dressed as one.