Should I Nomi Jane Tonight...?
I hate somber difficulties.
I wonder what it would be like to meet one person and never have a single problem with them. The closest I can get to this dream of a person is Lisa. The next closest would be _____.
I am forbidden to ever talk to or see _____ again. It's hard to accept this, and it still hasn't fully hit me. He called to say goodbye today, and it was one of the oddest feelings I've felt in a long time.
On top of this all, I have to put up with seven hours of the most tedious work alive. I'm so glad to be home right now, but I feel ridiculously alone. Why, I don't specifically know.... Maybe I should spend more time with the doors unlocked, blinds open, music shouting and invasive strangers. That oughtta put the problem to sleep?
Needless to say, I don't really know if I'm doing well or badly. But on a lighter note...
Matt moved to Laguna... --yay Matt--
_____, you will always be the tallest lit candle in the midst of all the dusk I see.
--
Yesterday, I was waiting for class to start. I sat down on a bench under a shady tree with little peaks of warmth, and freewrote about the sun; he seems to be the only thing I see the same way, every single day of my life.
He with the wild fire sways
Under sunken trees with leaves of gold
A heart of silver
Shade dabbled upon rich grass
Concrete layed upon absent feet
Casting signs over rain-slicked pavement
Under tombstones where once He lived
To cry through open windows
Bringing the door of death to the moonchildren
Over lacing daisies retired
To crumble beneath a mourning willow--
But he whose lord rides his tail
With cracking whips on horses' flames
Keeps on shining still.
And to my solitary burrito, I retreat.
--Nomi.