what goes around comes around

[dykestud]

so many things have changed in my life in just the last two weeks. i went to oregon to visit anthea for her birthday. i had great fun,it was great to spend time with anthea as well as getting to know her other half trina. trina is a good hearted woman,and i know in time we will grow to be very good friends.i also met someone,but heres where it gets tricky. for the first time in over three years im finally ready to commit to just one women,but she tells me that shes not ready.what a kick in the ass for me.i realize that iv only met her once, but it was a special weekend.(atleast it was for me)me and her have still been talking and all but now i dont know where i stand. i know one day at a time,if its ment to be it will be.what the hell am i doing? why do i put myself thru this?
i got a call from anthea today,she seemed upset but didnt want to talk about it. i just wish she would let me back into her life.the way it used to be..... she used to hold nothing back,now its like pulling teeth.i realize that everyone changes over time,but damn it, its just all happening just to quick for me. as the world spins out of control around me i fumble for something,anything to take hold of.even if just for a moment the world stops,and im able to see clearly just for that split second i will have known true happiness.hell is that to much to ask for? yea i know it is but were all intitled to have our dreams.